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Nanny in Playgroup
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Anonymous
| 'm in a playgroup and it's all mothers with their little ones and one nanny. I thought nannies generally met other nannies and formed playgroups with them, am I wrong? I don't mind her being there but I feel bad for her because she is significantly younger the rest of us and has nothing in common with us. I know the child's mother signed her up, etc. so I'm not blaming the nanny, I'm just wondering how common this is because it is a little weird to me. I fully expect that I might be slammed but I am really wondering. |
Anonymous
| I don't see why a nanny wouldn't particpate fine..but if she does not socialize with the other adults because she is too young or not welcomed I would think she would find another group. |
Anonymous
| Are you serious? |
Anonymous
| Your thread is going to get locked because it belongs in the nanny forums, but I'll chime in anyway - try to make her feel welcome. Ask her about her life, her family, her hobbies. Why wouldn't you? |
Anonymous
This is your chance to get into the mind of a millenial and report back here! |
Anonymous
|
My nanny did play dates with some moms that she had "nothing in common with". Most of the SAHMs weren't nice or welcoming to her, but a few were and invited her to play groups and I noticed and was grateful.
The nanny is a human being. You probably have something in common with her if you make an effort and if you don't have anything in common with her, you could find out some new things. And yes, the nanny probably feels uncomfortable and out of place. So you can either help her not feel that way or keep talking to the other moms and ignore her. Your choice. |
Anonymous
| I'd rather be friends with the nanny than you. Yikes you sound awful. |
Anonymous
|
My mom friend group, formed at the Breastfeeding Center after their weekly support group, had moms ranging from early 20s to early 40s. We were also diverse in many other ways - jobs, nationalities, religions, parenting philosphies, etc. We got along fine.
You're all raising kids of similar ages, no? That's your commonality. Don't make excuses to exclude the nanny. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I'm nice to the nanny. I go out of my way to be nice because I can tell she is uncomfortable. Like I said in my original post, I feel bad for the nanny because she is clearly being told to go and does not want to so I was just wondering how common this is. I guess I think mothers should let their nannies have some say in choosing activities, which clearly this person is not able to do. |
Anonymous
|
I agree OP that it's a weird dynamic...when I was in Moms Club--there was one woman who worked full time and had her nanny participate in the events. No one was rude or unwelcoming to the nanny (people were very nice) but, it was just a bit odd in terms of social dynamics--the nanny was 20 years younger, unmarried, and spoke limited English.
Plus our moms club chapter was big on having everyone share hosting duties and doing volunteer work and the mom just bagged out on all this stuff and it wasn't like we could say anything about it to the nanny as it wasn't her fault. I think people just ended up feeling like the mom was a user. |
Anonymous
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ut the nanny is not "raising a kid of similar ages." She's caring for one as her job.
If the group dynamics work with the nanny, then great, but I don't think it's wrong to feel she doesn't belong. I was once in a playgroup of SAHMs in which one WOHM sent her nanny and it didn't feel great. The preferred conversational topics - about how our marriages were affected by having babies, about our own babysitters and nannies, and our own lives - felt uncomfortable to discuss with her. When the kids are little, playgroups are as much for the caregivers as the kids, and I don't think WOHMs with nannies necessarily understand that. |
Anonymous
Nobody is debating whether she is a human being. She's probably very nice. But are you having other people's nannies over to socialize with you on weekends? Just for coffee or to hang out at your house? My guess is you are not, because you have limited social time and prefer to spend it with the people you choose to. It's presumptuous for WOHMs with nannies to assume that a SAHM will be happy to hang out with their nanny. |
Anonymous
| This is the norm at a play palce like Gymboree or Kidville. It's a mix of mothers, fathers, grandparents, and nannies. Same at the local playground. Somehow it all works out. |
Anonymous
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Gee...It sounds to me as if you are saying to us that you feel the nanny does not deserve to be in the playgroup because she is not an experienced mother like the rest of you.
But I thought playgroups were for the kids, not the adults. Or am I wrong here?? Why should you care if a nanny is present? So what if she is not a mother yet or if she is younger than the rest of you? It doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve to be included in our conversation at all. You sound like a snob to me. |
Anonymous
| *your |