Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have au pairs and I try really really hard not to leave a mess for her in the morning. But with two kids and busy full-time jobs (which is why we have childcare help!), it's just not possible, or at least not realistic, to leave a completely spotless house to turn over to our au pair every morning. Believe me, I'm not leaving any messes because I expect my au pair to clean them up, and I would most certainly maintain a spotless house if I could on my own, but I can't. I let my au pair know that - if I leave dishes in the sink, she can just leave them and I'll get to them when I can. If I leave laundry in the dryer, it's because I've forgotten about it, not because I expect her to fold it.

Is it possible that for some of the MBs, they're doing their best and they just don't have time to leave everything in perfect order for you every single morning? If you think that might be the case, then just leave it.

Although I will say that to some degree, it might be worth building up the goodwill. I'm much much more willing to be flexible with my current au pair, who goes above and beyond routinely (and by flexible, I mean, extra days off, extra bonuses, cooking her dinner every night, doing her dishes if she happens not to have time, etc.) than I was with my second au pair who would literally do nothing unless I specifically asked her to. She would leave a knife in the sink all day if I left it there and do her day's dishes all around it rather than just putting it in the dishwasher when she was cleaning anyway.

Anyway, things to think about. Though obviously if someone is every single day leaving you all their dinner dishes to clean up and that wasn't in your job description, that's not falling under the situations I've described above.

There is a difference. You work. This mom doesn't work and orattles around the house all day. Why a SAHM needs childcare help in the afternoon after having no kids in the morning is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: she is definitely 1. expecting me to do them and 2. Leaving them intentionally for me to do. She says things like "make sure you empty the drying rack before you put new dishes on there." Or yesterdays "oops! I left a mess for you." Also, she will often times eat lunch and then leave her plate on the counter, grab her keys and go out the door. Then shell call on the phone and say something like "try to keep kitchen island clear today before DB comes home." She is just a slob, plain and simple. This is not me seeing dishes she just couldn't find the time to do in her busy schedule and assuming I should wash them. This is her leaving a note "go dishes" with ten dried up plates sitting out in the counter.

nannydebsays wrote:OP, you could always stick the dishes she leaves in the sink to soak, and tell your MB, "I left your dishes in the sink to soak so you can get them clean more easily!"

That gives her the opening to say, "Oh, but I thought you would just keep doing them for me?"

Then you can either say, "I'd prefer not to do family dishes that are used when I am not working." or "I'd be happy to change my contract and compensation to include doing family dishes. When would you like to sit down and discuss those changes?"

Anonymous wrote:I think op is required to do whatever her boss asks. If its empty the garbage or rake the leaves or wash the windows you do it or they find someone else who will.

Anonymous wrote:I think op is required to do whatever her boss asks. If its empty the garbage or rake the leaves or wash the windows you do it or they find someone else who will.

Anonymous wrote:I think op is required to do whatever her boss asks. If its empty the garbage or rake the leaves or wash the windows you do it or they find someone else who will.