MB leaving dishes for me when I get there

[Anonymous]

I had an MB and DB who would do this. Since my contract included absolutely no housekeeping aside from child related things (children's laundry, dishes, bedrooms) I would nearly stack the dishes next to the sink, clean the kids dishes and move on with my day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have au pairs and I try really really hard not to leave a mess for her in the morning. But with two kids and busy full-time jobs (which is why we have childcare help!), it's just not possible, or at least not realistic, to leave a completely spotless house to turn over to our au pair every morning. Believe me, I'm not leaving any messes because I expect my au pair to clean them up, and I would most certainly maintain a spotless house if I could on my own, but I can't. I let my au pair know that - if I leave dishes in the sink, she can just leave them and I'll get to them when I can. If I leave laundry in the dryer, it's because I've forgotten about it, not because I expect her to fold it.

Is it possible that for some of the MBs, they're doing their best and they just don't have time to leave everything in perfect order for you every single morning? If you think that might be the case, then just leave it.

Although I will say that to some degree, it might be worth building up the goodwill. I'm much much more willing to be flexible with my current au pair, who goes above and beyond routinely (and by flexible, I mean, extra days off, extra bonuses, cooking her dinner every night, doing her dishes if she happens not to have time, etc.) than I was with my second au pair who would literally do nothing unless I specifically asked her to. She would leave a knife in the sink all day if I left it there and do her day's dishes all around it rather than just putting it in the dishwasher when she was cleaning anyway.

Anyway, things to think about. Though obviously if someone is every single day leaving you all their dinner dishes to clean up and that wasn't in your job description, that's not falling under the situations I've described above.

There is a difference. You work. This mom doesn't work and orattles around the house all day. Why a SAHM needs childcare help in the afternoon after having no kids in the morning is ridiculous.

Ok, so what? Maybe she's just lazy, but I'm also asking you to consider that she may not be leaving it with the intention of her nanny cleaning it, but rather, she's just leaving it because that's what people do. Most people don't have a spotless house at all times.

[Anonymous]

Ever since I got married and had kids, I like to do all the dishes at night after everyone else has gone to sleep. It's the only time the kitchen stays clean for more than half an hour. I do not expect my nanny to do them. I would hope that she would not hold it against me if she did the dishes before I had a chance to. Talk to your MB.

[Anonymous]

OP here: she is definitely 1. expecting me to do them and 2. Leaving them intentionally for me to do. She says things like "make sure you empty the drying rack before you put new dishes on there." Or yesterdays "oops! I left a mess for you." Also, she will often times eat lunch and then leave her plate on the counter, grab her keys and go out the door. Then shell call on the phone and say something like "try to keep kitchen island clear today before DB comes home." She is just a slob, plain and simple. This is not me seeing dishes she just couldn't find the time to do in her busy schedule and assuming I should wash them. This is her leaving a note "go dishes" with ten dried up plates sitting out in the counter.

[Anonymous]

Do dishes not go dishes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: she is definitely 1. expecting me to do them and 2. Leaving them intentionally for me to do. She says things like "make sure you empty the drying rack before you put new dishes on there." Or yesterdays "oops! I left a mess for you." Also, she will often times eat lunch and then leave her plate on the counter, grab her keys and go out the door. Then shell call on the phone and say something like "try to keep kitchen island clear today before DB comes home." She is just a slob, plain and simple. This is not me seeing dishes she just couldn't find the time to do in her busy schedule and assuming I should wash them. This is her leaving a note "go dishes" with ten dried up plates sitting out in the counter.

Then you need to tell her that cleaning up after her is not part of your job. Yes, it may be uncomfortable to have that conversation with her, but it needs to be done or it will not get any better for you.

[nannydebsays]

OP, you could always stick the dishes she leaves in the sink to soak, and tell your MB, "I left your dishes in the sink to soak so you can get them clean more easily!"

That gives her the opening to say, "Oh, but I thought you would just keep doing them for me?"

Then you can either say, "I'd prefer not to do family dishes that are used when I am not working." or "I'd be happy to change my contract and compensation to include doing family dishes. When would you like to sit down and discuss those changes?"

[Anonymous]

nannydebsays wrote:OP, you could always stick the dishes she leaves in the sink to soak, and tell your MB, "I left your dishes in the sink to soak so you can get them clean more easily!"

That gives her the opening to say, "Oh, but I thought you would just keep doing them for me?"

Then you can either say, "I'd prefer not to do family dishes that are used when I am not working." or "I'd be happy to change my contract and compensation to include doing family dishes. When would you like to sit down and discuss those changes?"

+1

Nip this in the bud promptly and professionally.

[Anonymous]

I would just rinse and stack the dishes next to the sink. You don't want to block access to the sink by having dishes soaking in it for hours.

[Anonymous]

You know OP, you really are not required to wash them. You are only required to wash any dishes used during your stay. Dishes your charges and you dirtied up during your shift.

Any dishes used prior to your arrival are not your responsibility.

I would just ignore them and wash what you need to wash.

[Anonymous]

I think op is required to do whatever her boss asks. If its empty the garbage or rake the leaves or wash the windows you do it or they find someone else who will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think op is required to do whatever her boss asks. If its empty the garbage or rake the leaves or wash the windows you do it or they find someone else who will.

then let them find someone else better suited to their need. Personally, I'd rather mow the lawn or rake leaves than deal with someone else's dishwasher but that is just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think op is required to do whatever her boss asks. If its empty the garbage or rake the leaves or wash the windows you do it or they find someone else who will.

What about hiring a nanny makes you think you've hired some kind of all around servant? If you want someone to rake the leaves, then that's the job you should advertise for, and it'd probably be best not to call it a nanny job.

[Anonymous]

Telling her directly is probably the only answer here...unfortunately she sounds like she enjoys treating you like the help and feeling superior so I doubt she will take it maturely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think op is required to do whatever her boss asks. If its empty the garbage or rake the leaves or wash the windows you do it or they find someone else who will.

I think you need to go back to the cave you crawled out of.