hiring young relative as nanny?
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nanabanana
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OP, Can I get off track for a minute and ask why aren't you encouraging your sister to go to college? I am not judging, I just .... she has no business stopping education to take care of a baby. There is always that chance that she wont go back to college or will postpone her college plans for years and end up resenting you. I would not want to live with that risk. I also don't think is smart to let all other kids her age get a head start on her. When she finally gets back, she will be at a disadvantage in whatever career field she choses. You should know there are plenty of great nannies out there that will love and care for your baby as if it were their own. I don't know your financial situation but if you are willing to offer a live-in position that might sweeten someone's interest. If you do go with your sister, things might (shall I say things WILL) complicate a bit as you go. Will she have set hours? If she says she cant babysit that saturday night, will you be resentful or think she "should be doing more for me as I am her sister, I give her food and a roof"? Will you pay her normal rates or will you expect her to not "charge" you full nanny rates because she is your sister and she is doing this partly out of love, to help you out? When you encounter difficulties in routines, directives, tasks, deadlines, etc... will you be able to give her a neutral feedback as you would to a regular employee? Will she be able to respect you as her boss, apart from being her sister? Whatever you decide, I wish you Good luck.... |
Anonymous
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This is the OP--thanks for the feedback everyone. I was hoping someone had a similar experience they could share, but it's still helpful to hear suggestions of potential pitfalls. To be clear: we will discuss this with my sister extensively and would not under any circumstances pressure her to say yes if she did not express 100% support for the idea and willingness to do whatever preparation we felt necessary. Character-wise, I don't anticipate any major issues: she is young but mature and responsible. Definitely sheltered, but not at all someone I would expect to go crazy once she's out of my parents' house.
I definitely understand the potential problems with employing a relative, especially re: following rules. In this case, it might be less of an issue because there is a large age gap between us (sister is in high school, I'm in my early 30s) so the boss/employee dynamic might not be as weird as it could be if we were closer in age. Still something to consider, I agree. To the PP asking about college: I understand where you're coming from, but even as a huge supporter of traditional four-year college education, I don't see college as one size fits all. My sister has frequently indicated that she does not want to go to college right away and that she wants a break from school to figure out what to do with her life. If she were to change her mind and decide to go, great, I'd support that. But as things stand now, I think pushing her to go to college when she isn't interested would not be productive and I disagree very strongly with the idea that one year off will completely derail her future career or put her behind her peers. Also, she's a talented artist and would have more opportunities to develop her skills living with us in the city (taking classes, etc) than she does at home. To the PP who asked about my niece: honestly I have already decided against the idea. My niece is a sweet and bright young woman who has been dealt a tough hand in life and is struggling to establish herself as an adult (hasn't been able to finish college, dealing with depression, etc). My husband would love for her to stay with us temporarily to help her see find more career opportunities and maybe gain a little more financial stability. She has a good personality for a nanny (very maternal), but doesn't seem to cope well with even normal stress, such as working while in school. Maybe down the road, I could see inviting her to be a part-time mother's helper when our child is a little older. But I think infant care is not a good fit right now. |
nannydebsays
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OP, does your sister have any experience working with kids? If so, is she a night time sitter or a full day 7a - 6p sitter?
And does she enjoy spending time with infants and up? Does she understand what 8+ hours a day with an infant entails? These seem like the most relevant questions, and I don't think you answered them above. |
Anonymous
You seem to have a chip on your shoulder. Just sayin. |
Anonymous
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This could very well be an amazing opportunity for all concerned, most of all for that lucky little baby to have a caregiver who will always be part of the family.
I think OP is thinking very wisely. |
nannydebsays
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Nope, I just know exactly how hard it is to provide excellent care for small people 10+ hours a day, and if the 18 year old sister isn't interested in doing a good job and doesn't like being around kids all that much, nobody is going to be happy, and the baby will be the one suffering from lack of quality attention. Frankly, given the choice between an uninterested and potentially apathetic 18 year old alone with my child in my home VS. my child cared for in a decent quality daycare, I would go with daycare hands down every time. Caring FT for children may not be intricate brain surgery, but it surely isn't all bon-bons, soap operas, hearts, flowers and joy. Those people who dismiss the work of a nanny by saying it's easy or unimportant have obviously never spent long hours with a child not their own and been fully responsible for that child's health and well-being. Heck, the loudest critics may have never spent much time with ANY child, including their own! |
Anonymous
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Everyone already said early on, to see if she's interested in the work. OP already knows that.
One can also get bad "nannies" who have no business working with children. It's a HUGE plus if you know the person you're hiring. |
Anonymous
| My biggest concerns, assuming your sister is interested and generally capable, are management-related. Your sister will be your employee, and anyone with experience with a family business knows that can be a fraught relationship. Does your sister take criticism well? Will you and she be able to handle you being her boss? What about her non-working hours? Etc. Also, you do have to consider what would happen if she didn't work out and you had to fire her. What kind of damage would that do to your relationship? Is it worth it to you to risk that? |
Anonymous
| I'm still curious why your husband is so eager to have your niece live with you. He seems a little too "concerned" and unless he is a trained specialist I don't see him helping her in a positive way |
Anonymous
Nannies fare no better from what I've seen, so get over yourself already. Give it a rest. OP is clearly far wiser than you seem to think. |