Advice on hiring part-time mother's helper
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Anonymous
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We currently have a toddler and are expecting twins this summer. We are very happy with our day care situation and planning to keep it up for our toddler while on maternity leave and then for the twins, too, once I go back to work. But to help make evenings not so difficult, we are considering hiring someone for about 16-20 hours a week. I'm thinking weeknights, 4-8 or 5-9pm to just help with whatever needs to be done.
This may include helping with dinner prep or after dinner clean up, washing bottles for the next day, bath time, giving a bottle, changing a diaper, bedtime, laundry, etc. I expect to be home during this time, so I'm not necessarily looking for someone to care for 3 very young ones alone, just looking for an extra set of proactive, helpful hands. Particularly so I can spend a little time with our toddler son and read him a book or two. We have a house cleaning service, so not looking for someone to do any deep cleaning of toiiets or anything. But will expect this person to work hard for the 4 hours he/she is present. We live in Bethesda very close to the metro (<0.3 miles). So my questions for all of you helpful posters: 1. Do people like this exist who will be willing to do both meal prep and/or holding/burping babies, depending on the evening? 2. How do I find that person? 3. What would be a reasonable rate to offer? 4. What are other factors I should think about when negotiating, discussing contracts, etc? thank you! |
Anonymous
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Hi OP. Congrats on the twins!
I think you can find people for a job like this - but it might take a little work as it isn't the most conventional gig. I would suggest really working your neighborhood listservs and word of mouth as your primary resource. Also, I think you're looking for a grown-up - not a preteen/young teenager - which is likely what you'll get if you advertise for a mother's helper. It sounds to me like a babysitter/housekeeper kind of type. It also could be an au pair, but that's a whole different kind of solution. In terms of rates, I'm not sure - it will depend a lot on who you click with and what their background/experience is. My hunch is that if you luck out w/ a neighborhood referral, someone who's been with a family for a long time but needs more hours, or whose family is cutting back and trying to help her fill in hours, etc... you'd probably need to offer $12-15/hr. If you do find a terrific teenager maybe you could go as low as $10/hour. But you'll want and need real work so try to shoot for as much help as you can afford. Also - do you know about MCPOM? It's the Mont. Cty Parents of Multiple group. We're all parents w/ twins, triplets, etc... and it is a fantastic resource for referrals/guidance on issues like this one, but also for twin gear, bedrest support, doctor referrals, tips for managing twins/multiple kids, general sanity, etc... My twins are 20 mths now and MCPOM has been really great for me and us. It helps a lot to know other families who are juggling similar challenges. We also do a lot of referring of nannies, babysitters, etc... I know there are at least a few members who have had household help of the type you're describing so you might find some really specific advice there. Good luck and congratulations! By the way - fwiw - definitely hire as much help as you can afford! Night nurses, daytime nanny, drag in willing friends, etc... I know you're already an experienced parent but just plan know to use all the offers of help you get! |
Anonymous
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Congrats on the twins!
I have a job similar to what you are describing, except I'm alone with them a good part of the time. It started out two evenings a week from 530-930 and it was one child. There are four kids now and ive been with them for 8 years. I don't know that i planned on being there so long, I was new to the area and looking to make some extra money. The position just kind of evolved over the years and it works. I'm usually there four nights a week. I agree with the PP about wanting an adult for this position. Three kids will be a lot of work, especially with twins and a toddler. You will want someone with experience. If you find someone that really needs the job, they will be the more dependable candidate. The family i work with has a full time nanny and a summer nanny in addition to me. The summer nanny is college age and a lot of fun for the kids. But, she is always calling out when something else comes up that she would rather be doing. I'm not saying that all college kids would do this but just something to consider. A typical night for me is dinner prep, bath, story/playtime and bed. Two kids are in school now so I help with homework. I don't do laundry but help out with most other things. Loading/ unloading dishwasher, sweeping, organizing, etc... They have never asked me to do this but they pay me well and after the kids go to bed, I don't have anything to do. When I started out I was making $15 per hour. I now make $23 per hour. Obviously you won't need to pay that much, I would think around $15 would be a fair place to start. You being there doesn't necessarily make the job easier. In fact, it can make it harder. The twins will be a big adjustment for your toddler and he will most likely be very needy in the beginning. I went through this each time they had another baby. I would try listservs, your daycare center, preschools, etc... I think a contract is a good idea. It can be informal but just something that lays out expectations for each of you. Being part time, I don't get any benefits with my job. The hours aren't guaranteed so if they cancel last minute or take vacation, I don't make the money. I should have negotiated this but as I mentioned earlier, the position evolved to what it is now. I love the family and they treat me well so I don't make a big deal if it. I would definitely negotiate this for a future position. Good luck ! |
Anonymous
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Excellent advice, thank you both!!
-OP |
Anonymous
| Can't you be a MOM and do it all yourself ? |
Anonymous
Go away. This was a flawless thread until you arrived. |
Anonymous
I probably could. But I prefer not to. And am blessed to be in the situation where I don't have to. -OP |
Anonymous
Please leave! I'm the PP that works for a family with four kids. The Mom is the best Mom I have ever met (besides my own) and she has lots of help. She often tells me its because she has great help. If it enables you to be the best Mom possible, why not? Good news is that OP doesn't have to do it alone and you obviously do. Bitter much? OP...ignore this poster and do what is best for you and your family. 
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nannydebsays
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OP, you might be able to find a Newborn Care Specialist who is new to the field or transitioning from nanny to NCS who would be thrilled with the job you're offering. It would be a great way for them to gain direct NCS experience. Or you might actually want an experienced NCS - it really depends on your budget, since someone newer to the field (although not necessarily new to newborn care!) might charge less.
Do you plan to be directive with the person you hire, or do you want someone who can take over the infants so you can focus on your toddler? IOW, do you want a self-starter or someone who will need directions? If you're OK with a lot of managing, a nanny who is newer to the business might work fine for you. Again, it comes down to cost. Congrats and good luck! |