Has anyone ever had a male au pair?
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| We have two boys and it's time for us to start the search for our third au pair. Just wondering about why I only look for females and whether it might benefit the boys in some way if they had a male au pair. Has anyone had one? |
Anonymous
|
If I had two boys, I would definitely get a male AP. i actually considered it last year but DH said no - we have a daughter as well as a son. All of the male APs I have known have been excellent and genuinely great childcare providers. It's much harder to be accepted into the AP program as a male than it is as a female.
One downside we have heard is that some male APs can find they don't have a lot of options for socializing as many HFs do not allow men in their houses even if the male in question is an AP. So this can mean a lot of socializing in Panera or Starbucks, but honestly this is what our female APs do half the time anyway. Definitely worth a look at the applicant pool and you can decide if anyone really stands out. |
Anonymous
|
I also have two boys and am interested in this too. Currently I'm with APIA, which doesn't have them. Of the agencies that Have them...which would you go with? I like APIA, but am limited to girls only with them.
Also, if you have one in the VA area,...are there enough other male APs that they can make friends/socialize? |
Anonymous
| I know Cultural Care has them - we're currently with them and have been happy. There are two male APs in our cluster this year out of 35 or so total. I have no idea how they'd make friends! |
Anonymous
| I think the male APs have a harder time, but with Facebook, I think they find friends and make it work. I agree with the point above that many families do not allow boys in their home, so if a male AP is friends with a girl, he would probably not be allowed in her home. We had a neighbor with male APs and it worked for them. I know one had some friends in the region so it seemed to work out. |
Anonymous
That's a great point. Actually my female au pair makes most of her friends from Facebook too. |
Anonymous
|
Are there any host families on here who would admit they don't allow male au pairs in their home? Can I ask why?
I don't get this. We have a daughter but are considering a male au pair because we are 2 moms and we thought a male might balance it out a bit for her. |
Anonymous
There might be many reasons a family would prefer a female -- but a simple one is this: When you are leaving your kids in the care of an unsupervised "adult" in your house all day, and you don't know this person well... the sad fact is that something like 90% of all sexual predators are male. It is a factor. Not the ONLY factor... but a factor. |
Anonymous
If my au pair (female) became friends with a male au pair, sure I'd let him in the house. We don't allow male non-family overnight guests, and we probably wouldn't allow him to hang out while our au pair is working. It's situation-specific: it depends on how things were going with my au pair and it would depend on my experience with this male friend of hers. |
Anonymous
| From what I've heard, its more like the host family has a rule that there are no males in the house overnight or when they aren't home. So male AP's can't come over during the day, when lots of the childcare takes place. And then he has to meet the family before being allowed around even at night when they are home. Would you have to screen a female AP like that? We wouldn't. So there is an extra layer of security for the male APs. |
Anonymous
|
APC AD, I'd like to ask you a question: Do you have HFs with daughters as well as sons who have male APs?
We have two children: girl who will be 11 when next AP arrives and boy who will be 8. We have been feeling for a while that our boy would really love (and could use) having a male AP. When our last year's AP's boyfriend came to visit, DS was thrilled to have a guy around to play with. Our APs have been great with both our children, but ultimately, they are young women, and we think DS would really benefit from having a guy around more. DD, at this point, is almost totally independent, and the AP never has anything to do with her dressing/bathing/toileting anyway. I am wondering whether it would be so unusual if we got a male AP next year. Do you have HFs with girls who have had male APs? If so, how has it goe? Thanks. |
Anonymous
|
I'm one of those HMs who would never consider a male AP. I have 2 DDs but I wouldn't consider a male AP if I had sons either. Sorry, but I am with prior poster who cited statistics on sexual predators being 90% male. Actually, I wonder if that statistic understates.
|
Anonymous
| There is a recent post on this on aupairmom.com - the comments section is great too. |
Anonymous
I wouldn't opt for a male Au-pair, ever. Personal choice but every parent can choose who they please. |
Anonymous
+1 |