Message
Don’t take the job
Our au pair is entering her second year with us and wants to "repeat" the program for another two-year period. Our LCC told us that this, in fact, possible: an au pair can (1) participate in the au pair program for up to two years, (2) return to her home country for some period of time, and (3) then come back to America for a second stint as an au pair (provided she is still within the permissible age range). This effectively enables the au pair to stay in America for a total of four years.
Has anyone here heard of an au pair doing this before? I asked our LCC how long the au pair is required to return to her home country before she is eligible to get another J-1 visa, and she said one year. Other LCCs, however, have said that the "return" requirement is two years.
I tried to engage an immigration lawyer to give me a concrete answer this question, but the first lawyer I spoke to insisted, flat out, that repeating the program is not possible. I suspect this can't be right given how many LCCs have said that it is possible and that they've seen it happen.
I'd be grateful for any insight (or an immigration lawyer referral!). Our au pair is a saint and we would be thrilled to help her extend her stay if possible.
Has anyone here heard of an au pair doing this before? I asked our LCC how long the au pair is required to return to her home country before she is eligible to get another J-1 visa, and she said one year. Other LCCs, however, have said that the "return" requirement is two years.
I tried to engage an immigration lawyer to give me a concrete answer this question, but the first lawyer I spoke to insisted, flat out, that repeating the program is not possible. I suspect this can't be right given how many LCCs have said that it is possible and that they've seen it happen.
I'd be grateful for any insight (or an immigration lawyer referral!). Our au pair is a saint and we would be thrilled to help her extend her stay if possible.
Friday send an text or email reminder. They may just forget.
Anonymous wrote:This board makes nannies look terrible. Immature, lazy, and argumentative.
Yes some on here do come across as such I do agree, but I have faith that there are many good, responsible caretakers out there.
This board makes nannies look terrible. Immature, lazy, and argumentative.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP this is all on your husband. Your nanny may have thought you decided to give a large bonus or a big thank you for helping out during a challenging week or recognizing her great work as a nanny overall. Do not say a thing or risk losing all the goodwill you just engendered, or worse - risk losing her altogether. This was you and your husband’s mistake - full stop. Spend all your energy figuring out how you and your husband can communicate better next time.
Would you say the same thing if the nanny accidentally under reported her hours? And the OP didn’t pay her for those unreported hours? It would be “nanny’s fault”…so no need to pay?
lol responsibility goes only one way from employer to nanny and employer is 100% responsible for nanny's faults according to this forum
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would not be able to work for parents who would implicitly tell me that I was not allowed to use their television while the children were around when that is what they would do.
It is very unfair of them to expect you to refrain from screens while there.
Sometimes with kids it is nice to have on the television for sound.
If parents cannot care for their kids without having to resort to television then they are not good parents.
I cannot work for hypocrites at all.
Now if they were a no screen family that would be entirely different.
Because then they would be practicing what they were preaching unto me!
If using TV makes them bad parents -- which I disagree with -- does using TV make you a bad nanny?
It's not hard for kids to learn that there are different rules with different adults. I never let kids eat in my car, for example. It's a choking hazard and I don't want the mess. If parents want to let their kids eat in their car, that's their rule. My car, my rule. When grandparents are visiting, I know that naps might not happen on schedule, meals might be a little more hectic, and "rules" bend a little.
I think it's very reasonable to say no TV when nanny is there. 3 YO can sit at the table and color/play with toys while you clean up the kitchen. When I have to clean up a kitchen, baby can play in the highchair with some water for splashing, or we'll have music on singing and dancing. 3 year old can also have quiet time in lieu of a nap.
With all due respect there is really no fair comparison in saying the nanny would be a bad nanny if she needed to turn on the TV since the parents would be bad parents themselves if they needed TV time for their kid(s) while home.
Because parents are in a completely different category as opposed to someone who cares for children as a career.
Parents need to practice what they preach.
Period.
No exceptions.
And if they forbid screens when their Nanny is in charge yet use them when they are home then they are not being fair to their Nanny.
...what? Let's break that down.
1. I didn't say a nanny is a bad nanny if they use TV. The person I quoted said parents are bad if they use TV. According to their logic, is a nanny also bad for using tv? It was a question.
2. You're right that parents are different from someone working with children as a career. Your other point makes zero sense. If a nanny is working with children as her career, she should follow the rules set by her employers.
3. You're so wrong is laughable. Are you a troll? The parents get to set the rules for their home and their children.
I understand it can make it more difficult if parents rely on tv a lot, but that's their choice. If the nanny is unhappy with that, she can find a new job.
Parents get to set the rules. If they don't want their nanny to use the tv, then that's the rule she needs to follow.
While you are absolutely right here in that the parents have the right to instruct their nanny to not turn on the tv while the kids are around, it still doesn’t make things right.
Parents can set many rules since the nanny isn’t the one living in the home = she only works there.
Parents can tell the nanny not to eat their food, use their iPad or they can tell their nanny to make their bed and fold their clean laundry.
The list is endless here.
But the nanny is a free will employee plus we live in a free country so if the nanny doesn’t think these rules are fair, then it is her right to leave the job.
Which is in a nutshell what this OP is asking us.
Whether a.) the rule is fair and b.) what she should do.
And no the rule is clearly not fair and because of that she should leave and seek a more fair family to employ herself with.
If the family is like this OP I hope you are getting compensated a nice salary because it would be a hard pass if my bosses told me not to do something that they themselves do when they are with their kids.
Demand respect because in the end, people will treat you the way that you allow them to.
^ remember this. ^^
Demand respect because in the end, people will treat you the way that you allow them to.
^ remember this. ^^
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would not be able to work for parents who would implicitly tell me that I was not allowed to use their television while the children were around when that is what they would do.
It is very unfair of them to expect you to refrain from screens while there.
Sometimes with kids it is nice to have on the television for sound.
If parents cannot care for their kids without having to resort to television then they are not good parents.
I cannot work for hypocrites at all.
Now if they were a no screen family that would be entirely different.
Because then they would be practicing what they were preaching unto me!
If using TV makes them bad parents -- which I disagree with -- does using TV make you a bad nanny?
It's not hard for kids to learn that there are different rules with different adults. I never let kids eat in my car, for example. It's a choking hazard and I don't want the mess. If parents want to let their kids eat in their car, that's their rule. My car, my rule. When grandparents are visiting, I know that naps might not happen on schedule, meals might be a little more hectic, and "rules" bend a little.
I think it's very reasonable to say no TV when nanny is there. 3 YO can sit at the table and color/play with toys while you clean up the kitchen. When I have to clean up a kitchen, baby can play in the highchair with some water for splashing, or we'll have music on singing and dancing. 3 year old can also have quiet time in lieu of a nap.
With all due respect there is really no fair comparison in saying the nanny would be a bad nanny if she needed to turn on the TV since the parents would be bad parents themselves if they needed TV time for their kid(s) while home.
Because parents are in a completely different category as opposed to someone who cares for children as a career.
Parents need to practice what they preach.
Period.
No exceptions.
And if they forbid screens when their Nanny is in charge yet use them when they are home then they are not being fair to their Nanny.
...what? Let's break that down.
1. I didn't say a nanny is a bad nanny if they use TV. The person I quoted said parents are bad if they use TV. According to their logic, is a nanny also bad for using tv? It was a question.
2. You're right that parents are different from someone working with children as a career. Your other point makes zero sense. If a nanny is working with children as her career, she should follow the rules set by her employers.
3. You're so wrong is laughable. Are you a troll? The parents get to set the rules for their home and their children.
I understand it can make it more difficult if parents rely on tv a lot, but that's their choice. If the nanny is unhappy with that, she can find a new job.
Parents get to set the rules. If they don't want their nanny to use the tv, then that's the rule she needs to follow.
I think sometimes it can be complicated when receiving payment via a cash app.
To make things plain + simple, I would just ask if the family would pay me either in cash or personal check on the last workday of your workweek.
I used to get paid via Venmo with my previous family.
My current one pays me either cash or personal check every Friday before I go home.
It’s much easier this way imo.
To make things plain + simple, I would just ask if the family would pay me either in cash or personal check on the last workday of your workweek.
I used to get paid via Venmo with my previous family.
My current one pays me either cash or personal check every Friday before I go home.
It’s much easier this way imo.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I would not be able to work for parents who would implicitly tell me that I was not allowed to use their television while the children were around when that is what they would do.
It is very unfair of them to expect you to refrain from screens while there.
Sometimes with kids it is nice to have on the television for sound.
If parents cannot care for their kids without having to resort to television then they are not good parents.
I cannot work for hypocrites at all.
Now if they were a no screen family that would be entirely different.
Because then they would be practicing what they were preaching unto me!
If using TV makes them bad parents -- which I disagree with -- does using TV make you a bad nanny?
It's not hard for kids to learn that there are different rules with different adults. I never let kids eat in my car, for example. It's a choking hazard and I don't want the mess. If parents want to let their kids eat in their car, that's their rule. My car, my rule. When grandparents are visiting, I know that naps might not happen on schedule, meals might be a little more hectic, and "rules" bend a little.
I think it's very reasonable to say no TV when nanny is there. 3 YO can sit at the table and color/play with toys while you clean up the kitchen. When I have to clean up a kitchen, baby can play in the highchair with some water for splashing, or we'll have music on singing and dancing. 3 year old can also have quiet time in lieu of a nap.
With all due respect there is really no fair comparison in saying the nanny would be a bad nanny if she needed to turn on the TV since the parents would be bad parents themselves if they needed TV time for their kid(s) while home.
Because parents are in a completely different category as opposed to someone who cares for children as a career.
Parents need to practice what they preach.
Period.
No exceptions.
And if they forbid screens when their Nanny is in charge yet use them when they are home then they are not being fair to their Nanny.
It sounds like this family likes to micromanage you.
I could never work in a home where a tv was in the house and the parents told me that I could not use it while there.
If you truly need some downtime I think you should use it for maybe one show.
I don’t see how one episode of Bluey or Meeka could make a boss angry.
I could never work in a home where a tv was in the house and the parents told me that I could not use it while there.
If you truly need some downtime I think you should use it for maybe one show.
I don’t see how one episode of Bluey or Meeka could make a boss angry.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This is not for you then. I could entertain the kids in 20x20 back yard but that's me.
Are you looking for a job ? I am op I can introduce you with the family .
Lol!
This is a genius idea btw!!
You definitely need to decline any job offer working for this family.
You shouldn’t be receiving two different/conflicting set of directions from both parents but most importantly > the Father has a huge anxiety issue & it is outrageous that he would expect you + his two sons to remain indoors all day.
This job will likely make your headaches much worse.
You are much better off continuing your job search OP.
Good luck!
You shouldn’t be receiving two different/conflicting set of directions from both parents but most importantly > the Father has a huge anxiety issue & it is outrageous that he would expect you + his two sons to remain indoors all day.
This job will likely make your headaches much worse.
You are much better off continuing your job search OP.
Good luck!
Anonymous wrote:This is not for you then. I could entertain the kids in 20x20 back yard but that's me.
Are you looking for a job ? I am op I can introduce you with the family .
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