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Yes, I have to agree w/the previous posters that $20/Hour (even for 3 kids!) is a very low rate. 
Yes what is most important in the Nannie/parent relationship is 1000% honesty. If one or both sides cannot abide by this principle then there will be no successful relationship ever.
I personally would quit this job immediately w/out notice OP!
Reason being is that they value you so little, to actually tell you in one breath that they paid your entrance fee is your birthday present then in the next that while there, you will be in charge of the care of their children.
WTH??!
If your Dad Boss actually thinks you are so empty headed to believe he is doing you a good deed then this shows you clearly what he thinks of you.
And the answer just does not bode well for your working relationship for now and in the future.
I could/would not work even a day w/this type of disrespectful employer.
If he sees you as just a charity case, then he certainly does not deserve you at all……..
Reason being is that they value you so little, to actually tell you in one breath that they paid your entrance fee is your birthday present then in the next that while there, you will be in charge of the care of their children.
WTH??!
If your Dad Boss actually thinks you are so empty headed to believe he is doing you a good deed then this shows you clearly what he thinks of you.
And the answer just does not bode well for your working relationship for now and in the future.
I could/would not work even a day w/this type of disrespectful employer.
If he sees you as just a charity case, then he certainly does not deserve you at all……..
(Cont.)
Oh and even if you were correct in your assertion that the Nanny here was wrong -> that still would not give her DadBoss the right to manipulate the TV/WiFi then lie about it when asked.
No employer ever has the right to outwardly LIE to the person who is caring for his precious young children.
Open communication is key for all relationships in general > most notably an employer/employee relationship.
Honesty is fundamental in keeping lines of communication honest & respectful.
Oh and even if you were correct in your assertion that the Nanny here was wrong -> that still would not give her DadBoss the right to manipulate the TV/WiFi then lie about it when asked.
No employer ever has the right to outwardly LIE to the person who is caring for his precious young children.
Open communication is key for all relationships in general > most notably an employer/employee relationship.
Honesty is fundamental in keeping lines of communication honest & respectful.
To the PP above ^^ ^^:
You are not understanding the full context of the original posting.
The Father simply stated his preference - but has given said Nanny full autonomy (as he should) regarding TV use in the house.
So no PP >> you are most definitely in the wrong by spreading false content on here….
You are not understanding the full context of the original posting.
The Father simply stated his preference - but has given said Nanny full autonomy (as he should) regarding TV use in the house.
So no PP >> you are most definitely in the wrong by spreading false content on here….
I will never understand families bringing in Au Pairs. One word describes it best - weird, weird, weird. Having a young female inexperienced person (they count their "experience" with kids by "hours" and the experience is often just made up) living under the same roof. Just weird.
Anonymous wrote:^^Yes, this is a perfect example of respondents not completely reading the entire original post before commenting.
So many of you automatically jump on the op and start laying blame. I see this in all the forums on DCUM, not just the Nannie’s section.
OP, your db is trying to intimidate you by showing you he is in charge and it is his way or the highway. It is disrespectful not only to you but to his kids for him to turn off the WiFi so the television will not operate.
Just like we teach young children he needs to learn to use his words instead of acting out like a toddler.
You should tell him that if he wants you to do a certain thing while working, he needs to verbalize it to you next time.
This lets him know that you are not his fool.
This is some of the worst advice I've read today.
If OP does this, she'll promptly find herself looking for work. We are criticizing OP because she is ignoring the dad's request. She is in the wrong.
^^Yes, this is a perfect example of respondents not completely reading the entire original post before commenting.
So many of you automatically jump on the op and start laying blame. I see this in all the forums on DCUM, not just the Nannie’s section.
OP, your db is trying to intimidate you by showing you he is in charge and it is his way or the highway. It is disrespectful not only to you but to his kids for him to turn off the WiFi so the television will not operate.
Just like we teach young children he needs to learn to use his words instead of acting out like a toddler.
You should tell him that if he wants you to do a certain thing while working, he needs to verbalize it to you next time.
This lets him know that you are not his fool.
So many of you automatically jump on the op and start laying blame. I see this in all the forums on DCUM, not just the Nannie’s section.
OP, your db is trying to intimidate you by showing you he is in charge and it is his way or the highway. It is disrespectful not only to you but to his kids for him to turn off the WiFi so the television will not operate.
Just like we teach young children he needs to learn to use his words instead of acting out like a toddler.
You should tell him that if he wants you to do a certain thing while working, he needs to verbalize it to you next time.
This lets him know that you are not his fool.
Anonymous wrote:I reread the original post and I didn’t read anything where the father boss told this nanny in no uncertain terms to not turn on the tv.
So I do not understand why people are pointing their finger toward her. ??
But this IS DCUM and people are always placing blame on ops.
But even if this nanny wasn’t supposed to turn on the tv, the father boss should be mature enough to tell his nanny directly that the tv is not allowed while the kid(s) is awake or whatever.
I personally think intentionally shutting off the WiFi so the tv will not operate is psycho behavior.
ESP for a man.
It’s like unplugging something then acting like something became unplugged on its own!?
In the VERY FIRST POST:
The father on the other hand has told me he prefers zero tv time while I am there but he hasn’t explicitly banned it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband works from home and laughed and said there is no such thing as rerouting or reprogramming a wireless internet router.
Your husband has no clue. We have all kinds of gadgets that control the internet, and my husband can shut it off with an app.
This - we can turn the WiFi / internet off for particular devices like the TV or a specific iPad without disrupting adults’ phones or work computers.
The nanny should respect the dad’s wishes with the TV and if the kids cry or run around and disturb his work, that’s too bad. He can allow one 18min show, buy a dishwasher, or do the dishes himself.
Do you have to get him out of bed then or can you give him some more time to sleep or to wake up more slowly?
We have known au pairs who did two years in the US and then went to Canada or Europe. You can go to a different country in less than 2 years.
Re adjustment - for ours, the first months were fine but Christmas brought out the blues in a big way, which at first we didn’t expect because things had gone so smoothly up until then. Talk often about your plans and expectations for holidays (what are your family’s traditions? Will AP be working?) and try to incorporate traditions from your AP’s culture.
FWIW we live in dc metro area, walkable to metro and bus, and have never given our au pairs a car. We have one car in the family that’s shared among three adults and it has worked out just fine.
Yes to emphasis on having another family member. Just like having kids, it’s extremely gratifying when it works but can be extremely taxing as well. It seems like a lot of families go this route because it’s cheaper and more flexible than a nanny but don’t fully think through what it will be like to have another young adult living with you. We have loved the program overall but very much entered in with the understanding of our responsibilities as not just bosses, but host mom and dad. Clearly communicated expectations are a must!
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