“We don’t need you the 15th so I’m going to have to watch my friends two girls”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't call. Text her and then turn off your phone. If you let her get away with this, her abide will only get worse. Also, playdates on never for more than an hour. Do not let her get away with this,!

Play dates with a charge's friend when the kids are in elementary school may be 2-3 hours, and they are drop off.

However, OP already stated that the friends children are of age she doesn't particularly like, so this isn't a play date, in any way at all.

My charges are 8 months, 2.5 and 3.5-years old.

Her friends children are 7&9.

I don’t see how a first and 4th graded will enjoy a play date with three small children. They’ll apparently be here from 10am to 4/5pm because their mother has an appointment.

I think you need to call her out on this. Be respectful, and use calm, professional language, but lay it all out there. Tell her that you understand that the idea of "guaranteed hours" perhaps seems like you're getting something for nothing, but that, in fact, what she is getting is your time set aside for her children: the job you were contracted for. You are, of course, happy to pursue age-appropriate activities for her children, including pay dates, within your job duties. However, children 4-6 years older are not age-appropriate play mates, and 6-7 hours is not a normal, reasonable amount of time for a play date. It is clear that she is calling this a play date because her friend needs a babysitter, and you weren't willing to do it. Tell her you don't appreciate being manipulated into doing something you already said you didn't do, and that 5 children with an age range from 8 months to 9 years for a full day is a huge undertaking. This is babysitting, pure and simple, and you charge for that. If she has promised her friend that you'll do it, and she doesn't want to say no to her, then you will do it, because you can't lose your job over this, but the friend needs to pay something for the babysitting. I would ask for $10/hr in this case.

You might also mention that when she described her job, she said, "if she doesn't work, she doesn't get paid." Presumably, that is if SHE can't work due to some reason. Her guaranteed weekly shifts mean that if the hospital is closed, they still have to pay her. The fact that that never happens doesn't mean it isn't exactly the same thing as your guaranteed hours.

It's the manipulation to get what she wants, like she's found a "loophole" that would make me likely to call her out on this. She's treating you like the tax code, not a person with a reasonable employment conflict that needs to be worked out with her employer.

I'm a MB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't call. Text her and then turn off your phone. If you let her get away with this, her abide will only get worse. Also, playdates on never for more than an hour. Do not let her get away with this,!

Play dates with a charge's friend when the kids are in elementary school may be 2-3 hours, and they are drop off.

However, OP already stated that the friends children are of age she doesn't particularly like, so this isn't a play date, in any way at all.

My charges are 8 months, 2.5 and 3.5-years old.

Her friends children are 7&9.

I don’t see how a first and 4th graded will enjoy a play date with three small children. They’ll apparently be here from 10am to 4/5pm because their mother has an appointment.

This is beyond wrong, OP. Please start looking for another job immediately and give notice now. Any future employer who thinks this demand is reasonable is not someone you should be working for.


Are you seriously going to be expected to watch five children tomorrow?

[Anonymous]

Are you going to be looking for a new position?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never quit a job in an unprofessional way without notice, but if someone did this to me I would strongly consider working tomorrow as she’s stated I’m going to, let her think she’s won and never return after I go home Friday. No notice, blocked on everything. She’s out of her mind.

[Anonymous]

And PS don’t think that by doing this crap for her you’re preserving your job. She’s probably looking to replace you for having an attitude in the first place

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And PS don’t think that by doing this crap for her you’re preserving your job. She’s probably looking to replace you for having an attitude in the first place

I would not be surprised if she fires you at end of day on the 15th. You are crazy to fo this, OP. Also, you have a valid reason for quitting and drawing unemployment.

[Anonymous]

So, is your MB going to be there during this "play date?" Or did she suddenly decide to work? Or is she going to go shopping and leave you with five kids?

[Anonymous]

How much are you getting paid? Because for just your regular job I'd want $30/hr but with the extra kids it's $40. You need to get a new job and quit!

[Anonymous]

Sit the older kids in front of the TVs all day and provide meals. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't call. Text her and then turn off your phone. If you let her get away with this, her abide will only get worse. Also, playdates on never for more than an hour. Do not let her get away with this,!

Play dates with a charge's friend when the kids are in elementary school may be 2-3 hours, and they are drop off.

However, OP already stated that the friends children are of age she doesn't particularly like, so this isn't a play date, in any way at all.

My charges are 8 months, 2.5 and 3.5-years old.

Her friends children are 7&9.

I don’t see how a first and 4th graded will enjoy a play date with three small children. They’ll apparently be here from 10am to 4/5pm because their mother has an appointment.

Of course, this whole arrangement is exploitative. The only way it could possibly be appropriate would be if both the moms were present and you were helping with child care for all the kids while the friends' mom was in charge of her two. The age mix and the length mean this is not a play date. By the way, kudos to you for handling three kids, 3.5 and under. Not easy to begin with.

HOWEVER, sometimes I think a few nannies on this forum(MBs too) get some sort of vicarious pleasure from telling other nannies to "take this job and shove it." If it's your job, you do have to assess the foreseeable consequences. Sure, you get a moment of "revenge" against your employer's out of line demand, but you forfeit any holiday bonus you may have coming and job security/continuity. Only you can determine if it's worth it in the moment, or if you might be better off finding your next position before calling it quits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sit the older kids in front of the TVs all day and provide meals. That's it.

That's what I would do if saddled with two elementary age kids in addition to three regular charges who are all under 4! I would be happy to play a game or two with them when (if!) naps for the three little ones overlap, and I'd be fine making sure they are dressed appropriately to play in the backyard. But I wouldn't do crafts, cooking or make the little ones be outside more than 30 minutes.

[Anonymous]

OP, update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, update?

What happened yesterday, OP?

[Anonymous]

I have a bad feeling that OP was fired and probably not paid for yesterday. I hope I am wrong but as there's been no update, I do not think it ended well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a bad feeling that OP was fired and probably not paid for yesterday. I hope I am wrong but as there's been no update, I do not think it ended well.

I am guessing the opposite. OP said nothing and ended up caring for her charges as well as the other two kids without saying a word. There is no update because she is embarrassed.