Honest compensation question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP its becoming clear that it is simply your attitude that is turning nannies off. Normal people can find someone for under $20/hour, so the fact that you can't likely means you are a pain in the ass.

+1
Your tone has been quite cold and nasty.
I would pick up on that in an instant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP its becoming clear that it is simply your attitude that is turning nannies off. Normal people can find someone for under $20/hour, so the fact that you can't likely means you are a pain in the ass.

+1

You've gotten reasonable, polite responses with reasonable, polite suggestions and many of your responses have read to me as difficult and antagonistic. 21:45 was your response to me and entirely ignored all of my points. I never said it was ethical or right or polite for the nannies to be accepting your job and continuing to interview; I pointed out that it was probably what was happening. If you want to solve the problem you'll need to climb down off your soapbox, stop moaning, and address the reality of the situation by dealing with what's happening and not with how people would behave in your ideal scenario.

And I'll reiterate my suggestion that you start interviewing less experienced nannies who've responded to your ad. They can be just as superb as the more experienced nannies but your package will be at the top end of what they can command so they'll likely accept AND take your job.

+1

This is the best advice you'll get OP.

[Anonymous]

Op here

Thanks for the responses. Not sure how I am cold or a pain in the ass. Shit, I don't even want the nanny doing laundry or dishes. That's pretty uncommon (I've seen a lot of contracts).

Anyway if you know of a day care with spots downtown, please let me know. We have tried all of then many times including paying the wait list fee and nothing. It's awful.

[Anonymous]

I'm in CA. I started this job at $20 an hour for one baby full time and his big brother in the am before school. I know I am paid well. And it's under the table. However, I have a BA, I've been a preschool teacher for 5 years, 8 years of nanny experience and 16 years of parenting experience. I bring a lot to the table. I'm wise and experienced. I give my family peace of mind. My NF family knows should there be a real emergency I will handle the situation. I assure you, that I care for any child in my care like my own. I will return the house to you cleaner than you left it. I think of the little things. I make sure we have a back-up lovely clean at all times. I save the OJ can lids to make magnets for G'ma. We don't watch TV and if we run to Target we discuss everything. How many Dollar Spot items can we get for $5? There's a lesson everywhere.
I make your life easier so you can focus on your job all day. I'll run an errand, feed the dog, let in the housekeeper, separate the recyclables. I'm not beneath doing your laundry if you need me to. Treat me with respect and pay me well and I'll support your family.

And I'll be honest, if you seem cheap, I will not work for you. I want to work in comfortable (clean) homes in a nice area. I want to push a nice stroller and I want to use a clean, safe (not a dirty hand-me-down) car seat in my car. I want to have a well-stocked art cabinet and nice educational toys. A nanny is a luxury. Not everyone can afford one. There are plenty of great day cares for families on a budget.

[Anonymous]

I understand your predicament, OP, but it is not the fault of the nanny who deserves a higher wage than you can afford to pay. Please don't take it out on the good nannies on this message board. We have budgets and family plans, too. No matter what some call the "bitter mommies" on this board say, you should be able to find a good, dependable nanny for 18 to 20 an hour in DC - otherwise you will not be able to hang on to a good nanny even if you find one for less money initially.

[Anonymous]

Maybe in CA there are plenty of day cares but if you don't know this area you aren't offering assistance. DC has very day care options which means many nannies are rewarded due to supply and demand, not because of skill.

I decided to sahm because I saw too many nannies sticking the kid at story time or the playground while they spent the whole time on the phone. It is easy to provide passive care here and I see it every day that I walk my baby around. I didn't think that was worth $19 an hour. It's probably worth it for Op to stay home, too, if she wants her kid to have good care. I am sure that's not everywhere but this is what I see in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe in CA there are plenty of day cares but if you don't know this area you aren't offering assistance. DC has very day care options which means many nannies are rewarded due to supply and demand, not because of skill.

I decided to sahm because I saw too many nannies sticking the kid at story time or the playground while they spent the whole time on the phone. It is easy to provide passive care here and I see it every day that I walk my baby around. I didn't think that was worth $19 an hour. It's probably worth it for Op to stay home, too, if she wants her kid to have good care. I am sure that's not everywhere but this is what I see in DC.

You do realize that you're judging an entire group of people based on limited interactions and experiences, right?
Just because some loser isn't properly watching her charge at story time doesn't mean that every nanny who comments on a thread is irresponsible. I highly doubt that the sole reason you chose to SAH is because you witnessed nannies neglecting their charges.
That's quite silly.
Experienced nannies deserve a decent wage. $16/hour won't do it. The nannies you saw at the park are exactly who you get for $16/hour or below. Unprofessional, irresponsible and likely to split for a higher paying job.

[Anonymous]

No those nannies get good wages - they talk about what they are all getting and many in shares. And it's not a few. The majority are on the phone.
I chose to stay at home because of the lack of reliable child care options here. Paying $20 to a stranger didn't make sense. We now bring home much less money but it's worth to me.

If op can't find reliable care she should consider the same.

[Anonymous]

Anyone else note the correlation between posters who think $15 an hour is at the high end of nanny pay and at the same time think nannies have it easy and spend most of their time on the phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No those nannies get good wages - they talk about what they are all getting and many in shares. And it's not a few. The majority are on the phone.
I chose to stay at home because of the lack of reliable child care options here. Paying $20 to a stranger didn't make sense. We now bring home much less money but it's worth to me.

If op can't find reliable care she should consider the same.

So all these neglectful nannies you've encountered have ALL discussed what they earn?
So you know for a fact that each and every one of them are paid a decent wage?
That's pretty incredible, considering the fact that I've been a nanny for many, many years and have never encountered an unknown nanny discuss their wages...EVER. Those odds are pretty amazing.
I very highly doubt that you could even afford a decent nanny. That is most likely the reason you stayed home.

[Anonymous]

Um no but many of them do talk in groups while the children play. They are looking to see who gets what probably as leverage against their employer.

They do this at story time and at the park. I am sure actual good nannies do other things with kids besides the same free activities day in and day out. But it is sad. It could also be Dc specific. Many of then are earnin a very good wage ($17/18 for one child, 22 for a share) but act like it's the worst job in the works and how they don't make any money.

I saw how many of them did this while I was on maternity leave and thought it was sad so since we couldn't get a spot in a decent day care, I decided I would rather not put my trust in a stranger.

One thing I think DC should consider is a nanny registry. Where a good background check is done and you are registered as a nanny by the city. Not everyone can afford a nanny agency and this might be a good way to know a bit more about who you hire. There are many families who want to do right for their kid(s) but DC is an especially difficult area. If you don't live here, your taking out the trash in Cali for your family doesn't mean anything.

[Anonymous]

Also I made about $95k a year. I could have afforded whatever I wanted but decided my peace if kind was worth more.

Thinking only rich people's kids deserve good care is another problem with the system.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have one piece of advice for you but you likely won't like it. The dire daycare situation, where you'd have to pledge your newborn away, is particular to NW and downtown DC. Drive five, ten miles out to MD or NoVa and you'd see dozens of well-run centers and loving home daycares where it's relatively easy to get a spot. If you are that hung up on childcare, perhaps you may prefer to move.

We live in close-in NoVA (22043). My neighborhood has at least five home daycares, and when I wanted a preschool spot for my 2.5 year old, one was available easily. There's no need to suffer in DC.

I also happen to think that $16/hr is good wages for a 1-infant nanny.

[Anonymous]

Op when I am a nanny, and I think you can find someone. I have 8 yrs of experience, some college education, and my rate is $17 an hour. I have experience with multiples, baby sign, and childrem with developmental delays. Maybe you can try looking in other places. I am looking for a position that begins in August, and I have been getting responses from parents offering $10-$13 an hour.

[Anonymous]

* not when -- I am a nanny