Stay at home mom and nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do nanny share, I have 5 months baby I bring my baby, it works very well, the baby who I take care and my baby are very firends, they play together, you can look for nanny share.

I am sure that your arrangement works well for you, but 5-month old babies can't form friendships, nor can they play together.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:
How many parents can honestly say that having a second child was a detriment to the first child?

It's laughable to even consider such nonsense.

There are obviously pros of having a sibling (someone else to play with), but there are also obvious cons. Most parents would tell you that the second or subsequent child got less attention than the first (because the parent is also paying attention to the first child). First children are also able to nap/eat/play on their own schedule. Subsequent children don't dictate the schedule as much and frequently nap in the car or something while first child is being driven to activities or whatever. There are definite detriments to having more than one child.

Now if there are even detriments when we're talking about your OWN children, imagine that one of the children isn't your own. If both children are crying at the same time or one child darts one way on the playground and one child another, or one child is still napping twice in a day and the other child wants to go to the playground - which is the caretaker going to prioritize?

Parents who want nannies typically do so because they want their child to have individualized attention. So some of these parents are going to see these detriments that come with having a second child around an
d feel that it's a disadvantage that they should either be compensated for or that they're not interested in at all.

What you are really talking about is EXCLUSIVE attention, not individualized attention. A good first grade teacher gives individualized
attention, not exclusive attention. Most of us desire the best for children to become healthy adults, rather than spoiled, entitled elitists.

PP, you sound incredibly ignorant. Are you really suggesting that there is no difference in need for attention between an infant or toddler and a first grader? I would be totally comfortable with a share for school-age kids, but much less so with infants or toddlers. That would be especially true if I had a toddler and the nanny wanted to bring an infant.

I realize that most of the dumber-sounding posts on here originate with one or two nannies who talk like they know it all but have such poor self-esteem and social skills that they must resort to insulting the parenting skills and/or "cheapness" or all MBs and DBs who differ with the nanny's worldview. It must be tough to go through life feeling so angry, PP. You annoy me, but mostly I just pity you.

Do you also pity the pediatric psychiatrist MB and her physician husband who hired the nanny with child in tow? As you may recall, it was certainly no bargain. They simply wanted the best for their child, and could afford it.

Not a bit, because the physician parents are not
on DCUM spewing angry nonsense. They made a choice that worked for them at the time, and that's great. I pity you, PP, because no well-adjusted person behaves like you. You've clearly been wronged by the world in some very deep way, and that is sad.

If you had any intelligent thoughts to contribute to the discussion, you would have no need to resort to constant personal attacks. If you have the ability to do so, please argue the issue, rather than continue to attack the people with whom you disagree. It's a cheap shot and you know it. Nice try.

I agree. It is a cheap shot indeed to accuse every parent who disagrees with a nanny of being cheap, lazy, absent from his or her child's life, too disengaged or clueless to form a sound opinion about what is best for his or her
child, too selfish to care what is best for his or her child, or unwittingly engaged in raising "spoiled, entitled elitists."

Touched a nerve? No one accused "every parent" of anything. But may the guilty jump to their defense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

You, my friend, are entitled to your personal opinion. But please try to keep in mind, that so is every other parent.... even those who have experiences and knowledge, completely different than yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

You, my friend, are entitled to your personal opinion. But please try to keep in mind, that so is every other parent.... even those who have experiences and knowledge, completely different than yours.

Well, instead of assuming, why not ask these parents? Run a poll and see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

You, my friend, are entitled to your personal opinion. But please try to keep in mind, that so is every other parent.... even those who have experiences and knowledge, completely different than yours.

Well, instead of assuming, why not ask these parents? Run a poll and see.

Are you seriously so self-centered to think that your opinions are the only ones that matter? Come to your senses, woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Are you seriously so self-centered to think that your opinions are the only ones that matter? Come to your senses, woman.

Well, I'm suggesting that you ask other parents so clearly I don't think my opinion is the only one that matters.

But I'll give you, that on the matter of whether nannies with children are more or less marketable than nannies without children, I think that opinions of parent employers matter more than opinions of nanny applicants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you seriously so self-centered to think that your opinions are the only ones that matter? Come to your senses, woman.

Well, I'm suggesting that you ask other parents so clearly I don't think my opinion is the only one that matters.

But I'll give you, that on the matter of whether nannies with children are more or less marketable than nannies without children, I think that opinions of parent employers matter more than opinions of nanny applicants.

Clearly the opinion of parent employers is more relevant to an inquiry about hiring preferences and marketability than the opinion of one unhinged nanny. Unfortunately, this probably isn't a great place to poll parents, because the behavior of a couple of the nannies on this board has driven most of them away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

You, my friend, are entitled to your personal opinion. But please try to keep in mind, that so is every other parent.... even those who have experiences and knowledge, completely different than yours.

Well, instead of assuming, why not ask these parents? Run a poll and see.

Ask the nannies too. While there might be quite a few that would love to bring their kids with them, there are also many that would never even consider it. Especially when they could find a great position paying more with less hours (to not have their kid with them) and then have extra time to spend WITH their kid outside of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

You, my friend, are entitled to your personal opinion. But please try to keep in m
ind, that so is every other parent.... even those who have experiences and knowledge, completely different than yours.

Who needs an anonymous polls to learn that different people have different opinions. For obvious reasons, busy people who are earning the highest incomes, have no time to sit on anonymous forums. While they're focused on their successful careers, they have responsible well-paid professional nannies to care for their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

You, my friend, are entitled to your personal opinion. But please try to keep in m
ind, that so is every other parent.... even those who have experiences and knowledge, completely different than yours.

Who needs an anonymous polls to learn that different people have different opinions. For obvious reasons, busy people who are earning the highest incomes, have no time to sit on anonymous forums. While they're focused on their successful careers, they have responsible well-paid professional nannies to care for their children.

*opinions?

[Anonymous]

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a pediatric psychiatrist hire me when my child was little. She was smart enough to understand that a second child was a huge plus for her singleton child. There was no decrease in my high rates.

Stop. It's way more of a negative than a plus or a nanny to bring her kid to work. That's a fact.

Apparently, what you consider to be a "fact" is only your own personal opinion, which you are welcome to. Even if your girlfriends agree with you, your opinion does not translate into a fact. Nice try.

No, it's true. The benefits to the employer are very little compared to the benefits to the employee.

Why would two physician parents, including a pediatric psychiatrist, hire a nanny who brought along her own child?

They even paid above average rates because they could afford the best.

1. Physicians aren't god. People who make lots of money aren't necessarily experts on childrearing.

2. If you are "the best", it ain't your child that made you "the best."

3. The benefits of having another child around don't kick in until said child is nearing two. Until then, other children are just moving objects to them.

4. The benefits of having other children around are easily had with other arrangements (classes, playdates) without the headache of a full-time presence, the need to manage two schedules, clutter the home with two of everything and share, for free, the time and skills of the nanny hired for the exclusive service to your child.

I'm sure there are nannies out there who bring their children. There many more that don't. Most nannies who bring their children have been with their families for a long time before they had babies. I would not hire a nanny who brings her own child for a full rate any more than I would buy one shoe for the price of a pair.

You, my friend, are entitled to your personal opinion. But please try to keep in mind, that so is every other parent.... even those who have experiences and knowledge, completely different than yours.

Well, instead of assuming, why not ask these parents? Run a poll and see.

Are you seriously so self-centered to think that your opinions are the only ones that matter? Come to your senses, woman.

Indeed, physicians are not gods, thank you. However, it stands to reason that if a wealthy mother happens to be a pediatric psychiatrist, she knows a thing or two about how children grow into healthy and happy adults, as opposed to the patients she treats everyday.
Agreed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Indeed, physicians are not gods, thank you. However, it stands to reason that if a wealthy mother happens to be a pediatric psychiatrist, she knows a thing or two about how children grow into healthy and happy adults, as opposed to the patients she treats everyday.
Agreed?

Nope. I'm sure your MB would be indispensable for medicating a schizofrenic child, or for treating actual medical illnesses. If pediatric psychiatry was about raising "healthy, happy adults", it would take 8 years of training to get there. You want to look up the difference between psychology and psychiatry perhaps. If you want to provide evidence that children of pediatric psychiatrists turn out happier and healthier than other children, please do so.

I don't get your worship of money. Wealthy people aren't necessarily smarter than us in every single detail. Would you be as reverential to your MB if she was a partner at a law firm? It doesn't matter what they do as long as they are rich? What about wealthy trust fund MBs?