TV/Screen Time Query

[Anonymous]

I have a question primarily for my fellow Nannies on here.

Does it bother you if your Nanny Family lets their children watch TV when you are not there - yet strictly forbids it while you are working?

I would understand it if a family was a “no screen” household but if the TV is constantly on when I arrive to work > and immediately goes back on when I leave, is this fair??

I am only asking for 30 min. daily for screen time when I clean up after lunch.
I work 8-9 hr. days w/a 14 mos. old + an almost 3YO who doesn’t nap.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

It would annoy me yes but I wouldn’t ask.
Enact 30 mins of quiet time for the almost 3yo.

[Anonymous]

it would not annoy me. Screen time is a respite for parents, nannies should manage without it. If a nanny is unable to get the 3 yr old to nap or lie quietly with toys/books for one hour, she is probably not a good fit. Nanny needs a break, that I agree with.

[Anonymous]

I see your point. But if they need 30 mins of screen time to get ready to go to work and 30 mins of screen time to decompress at the end of the day and get dinner started, they may already feel bad/stressed about those 60 mins a day, and not be willing to push to 90 mins (pretty much universally considered too much at those ages) so that you can do the lunch dishes.

Asking was reasonable, but if they said no, then yeah. They need the 60 mins more than you need the 30, they don't want 90, and they pay you. Which means their "no" was reasonable, too.

Three is old enough for a nanny to teach them to play independently for 30 mins.

--Mom of 2 under 2 who only lets them use screens when they're sick or on an airplane

[Anonymous]

In reality, the majority of parents who employ Nannie’s for their children fully expect that the nanny will actively engage and play with their child much of their time vs. passively letting them use a screen or practice independent play.
I think if parents are paying someone to stay with their child then it is not unreasonable to expect that person to keep their child fully entertained for their shift.
Allowing the nanny to let T.v. entertain a child is not what the parents are paying for.
It may be an unfair dynamic for the nanny unfortunately but it is one downside of working for another person.
One must follow ALL instructions given to them whether one likes it or doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

I would be so annoyed! One of my greatest parental pet peeves is when parents let their kid watch television when they are home yet they tell the nanny that she is not allowed to have the t.v. on at all…..or at least while their kid is awake. It’s like they feel since they are paying you and you are on the clock, why should they pay you unless you are playing with their kid constantly?
If someone works eight hours a day then a brief period of t.v. should be alright. Parents these days are constantly trying to stretch their dollar when it comes to their expectations.

[Anonymous]

I understand where you’re coming from, but its much more nuanced.

Parents are paying you for a service, so screen limits is absolutely acceptable. Contrast to having grandma watch the baby for free - parents will be more lenient because beggars can’t be choosers.

The parents who can afford nannies have high stress demanding jobs. If they need to put their kid in front of the tv so they can take an unexpected call, answer an after hours work email or get ready for work, I completely understand.

Now, if they’re just doing it because they’re lazy or don’t like hanging with their kids, that’s different. But I’m betting 90% if the time, it really is necessary.

I suppose if you are interested you could offer to extend your hours so they could get their work done without resorting to TV. But barring that, give the parents some grace and understanding!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see your point. But if they need 30 mins of screen time to get ready to go to work and 30 mins of screen time to decompress at the end of the day and get dinner started, they may already feel bad/stressed about those 60 mins a day, and not be willing to push to 90 mins (pretty much universally considered too much at those ages) so that you can do the lunch dishes.

Asking was reasonable, but if they said no, then yeah. They need the 60 mins more than you need the 30, they don't want 90, and they pay you. Which means their "no" was reasonable, too.

Three is old enough for a nanny to teach them to play independently for 30 mins.

--Mom of 2 under 2 who only lets them use screens when they're sick or on an airplane

All this. OP seems young or inexperienced I would bet she doesn't have little kids and can just go home after work and relax.

[Anonymous]

I would only be annoyed because you need a break as well working 9hrs a day. You need time to eat and pee and just breathe. But some parents don’t care. They consider you the help and not human and are paying you so you deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would only be annoyed because you need a break as well working 9hrs a day. You need time to eat and pee and just breathe. But some parents don’t care. They consider you the help and not human and are paying you so you deal.

I have read all of the responses here and this one makes the most sense, especially the last sentence.
Many families DO consider nanny’s the hired help so they feel it is acceptable to create unreasonable instructions for them that they themselves do not follow.

I think this is the core issue at point here.
If the family instructed their nanny to not turn on the television while caring for their children and they themselves did the same that would be fair.
Yet if they allowed television time ONLY when the nanny wasn’t there then that would be a dealbreaker for me if I was their Nannie.

Because if they did the latter I would be convinced that they viewed me as the “help” only and that they expected to get their money’s worth of work from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand where you’re coming from, but its much more nuanced.

Parents are paying you for a service, so screen limits is absolutely acceptable. Contrast to having grandma watch the baby for free - parents will be more lenient because beggars can’t be choosers.

The parents who can afford nannies have high stress demanding jobs. If they need to put their kid in front of the tv so they can take an unexpected call, answer an after hours work email or get ready for work, I completely understand.

Now, if they’re just doing it because they’re lazy or don’t like hanging with their kids, that’s different. But I’m betting 90% if the time, it really is necessary.

I suppose if you are interested you could offer to extend your hours so they could get their work done without resorting to TV. But barring that, give the parents some grace and understanding!!!

I am sorry but I take professional offense at your phrase that “beggars cannot be choosers.”

Are you implying that every Nanny is a beggar??
You must be a parent if you truly believe this.

Hopefully you just made a bad analogy word choice.

Signed,
A Nanny

[Anonymous]

PP, you have reading comprehension issues. "Beggars" in this case means parents since grandma is babysitting for free.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a great way to get the kids to not like the nanny...nanny arrives, the TV has to go off and nanny leaves and the TV goes right back on. Yikes. I don’t think they should be having them watch TV right before you arrive or right after you leave but they can do what they want in regard to letting them watch it. I do think it’s hypocritical, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would only be annoyed because you need a break as well working 9hrs a day. You need time to eat and pee and just breathe. But some parents don’t care. They consider you the help and not human and are paying you so you deal.

If it was an experienced nanny she would have trained the 3yo to do quiet time for 30 min while the baby naps and she gets a break then. But the parents are getting what they pay for with nanny wanting to put the kids in front of the TV instead.

[Anonymous]

Just my own personal opinion of this matter but as a mother who employs a fulltime nanny I find it outrageous that a parent would tell their nanny not to turn on the television while working.
I mean I could see if the nanny spent all of her time looking at her phone while the kids sat in front of the tv all day but if I have a tv sitting in the house in a common area of my home I would never tell anyone not to turn it on!!???

That is micromanaging at its finest and I think the nanny here should find another family to work for. A family that actually respects her vs. one who thinks it is their right to CONTROL her.