Advice for first-time host mom during first days?

[Anonymous]

Hi!

Our new au pair is arriving Wednesday, and we're so excited to host her. We have a busy family with 3 young kids and want to ensure she is supported the first few days. I've gotten a gift basket, toiletries, etc, but how do you all typically spend the first few days/weeks with your au pair? Jump right into the "to do" list of ss, dmv, bank etc, or just show her around the neighborhood? I'm not sure how "businessy" to make the first few days but also need to balance onboarding her with kids routines etc, as we will be going to work the following week. (She arrives Weds, and we're taking off W-F to welcome her home.)

Advice! What do you do?/What do you wish you did differently?

[Anonymous]

It's good that you're taking days off to welcome her home.

You do need to take care of SS and bank stuff right away. Not the first day she arrives, but schedule it for day 2 is typical. DMV can wait a bit.

First day, let her rest and sleep in. Show her around the house and neighborhood. Day 3, show her the child care routine.

Our last two aps arrived on a Thursday. So I'd take them to SS and the bank on Friday. Then on Saturday we plan a family outing, such as a hike at Sky Meadows or some other nice place, to get them as much outdoor air as possible to help with the jet lag. Your family's preferred activities may be different. But in any case, do something that your family normal enjoys and invite her to join you. It would be a good bonding opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Hope you have a family handbook already drafted and shared - I find that useful to go over expectation in the first couple days! If you havent done one yet, AP Mom website archives have examples.

[Anonymous]

We provided a packet of papers - our full names, address, phone numbers, dr number, emergency family contact, school, etc. Then the family schedule - who goes where and when, and then how to get around our neighborhood. The first couple days we were aware of jet lag and "information overload" but just tried to show her how to use everything in the house - tvs, washer, dishwasher, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is very thoughtful of you. I’ve hosted 3 au pairs and found they were all pretty shell-shocked upon first arriving. One of ours didn’t speak for the first couple of days, while another was completely timid, afraid to touch anything. I had to prepare every meal, every class of water, etc. for her initially. Like the previous poster noted, while snarkily, you are welcoming another child into your home. I was completely wiped at the end of our first week with each of our au au pairs. The initial few days can really set the tone for your year — at least that’s been our experience. Good luck!