“Firing” a family from a nanny share

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my current host family since G3 was 3-months-old and they’re some of the best people I’ve ever worked for. We were all very lucky to be with in a share with a family that was just as great. A similarly aged boy who got along really well with G3. Unfortunately they moved away last month and the family I found to replace him has been a nightmare.

The family lied about so much. Their child’s schedule, behavior, how they discipline to name a few. The boy is a little older than G3 but way behind developmentally (closer to a 24-30 month old) and is incredibly violent, aggressive and destructive. He started last Monday and it was awful. I had a long hard discussion with parents and they were super dismissive of my concerns. I really tried my best to curb behaviors and make it work and essentially gave them an ultimatum on Friday. Today has been even worse. Host DB was home to see behavior and essentially said after today he doesn’t want the child in his home again. I agree. It’s truly that bad. However, I do feel a bit guilty about not giving this family two weeks. If I was their personal nanny I’d work through it, but it’s not fair to my lovely host family or sweet G3 to have this child around any longer.

This is the first time I’ve had a share go south. I’m dreading the conversation, I’ve never been in a situation like this.

Any help with how to professionally but firmly let the family know I will no longer be caring for their child starting tomorrow? I’m totally ok with not getting paid for today.

[Anonymous]

To expand upon our discussion from Friday, it was even more evident today that this share is not going to work out in best interest of all parties. Due to safety concerns including aggressive behavior, we will be terminating the nanny share immediately. Here are some local agencies, Facebook groups, or websites that may aid you in your childcare search. Best of luck in the future and thank you for the opportunity.

In the future, the family should be spearheading the search for a new share family and then handle all of the inner business working of the share, not the nanny.

[Anonymous]

What does G3 stand for? Also, many kids' aggressive behavior can be mended with naps, big breakfast, and no screen time. It may be that this is a rough transition and things settle down after a month or so. parents however should have "prepared" their child for transition by giving lots of rest, nutritional breakfast before coming into share (not just a handful of cheerios like some do), and most importantly, start with just a few hours a day and not a full day. Good luck to all parties!
"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does G3 stand for? Also, many kids' aggressive behavior can be mended with naps, big breakfast, and no screen time. It may be that this is a rough transition and things settle down after a month or so. parents however should have "prepared" their child for transition by giving lots of rest, nutritional breakfast before coming into share (not just a handful of cheerios like some do), and most importantly, start with just a few hours a day and not a full day. Good luck to all parties!
"

G3. A girl who is 3.

Both kids are getting adequate nutritious meals and rest times while with me. Yet only B3 is kicking, biting, screaming, destroying books and calling everyone who makes him angry “bitch”.

His issues are far beyond what I am qualified or paid to handle. A decision has been made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does G3 stand for? Also, many kids' aggressive behavior can be mended with naps, big breakfast, and no screen time. It may be that this is a rough transition and things settle down after a month or so. parents however should have "prepared" their child for transition by giving lots of rest, nutritional breakfast before coming into share (not just a handful of cheerios like some do), and most importantly, start with just a few hours a day and not a full day. Good luck to all parties!
"

This is a very lame response.

Screen time does not affect how a child (mis)behaves!!?

What the hell??

[Anonymous]

How did it go, OP?

[Anonymous]

The chid has behavior issues and I’d def let the parents know that you’re not comfortable watching their child. Period. Not a good setting for you and host kid. Best of luck and take care of yourself first and foremost always.

[Anonymous]

If you (the nanny) are willing to work with this kid for two more weeks, but it's the host dad who is not willing to have that kid in his home starting immediately, then I'd actually let the host dad do the talking in the meeting, while making it clear that you agree with him.

[Anonymous]

I can’t sleep at night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been with my current host family since G3 was 3-months-old and they’re some of the best people I’ve ever worked for. We were all very lucky to be with in a share with a family that was just as great. A similarly aged boy who got along really well with G3. Unfortunately they moved away last month and the family I found to replace him has been a nightmare.

The family lied about so much. Their child’s schedule, behavior, how they discipline to name a few. The boy is a little older than G3 but way behind developmentally (closer to a 24-30 month old) and is incredibly violent, aggressive and destructive. He started last Monday and it was awful. I had a long hard discussion with parents and they were super dismissive of my concerns. I really tried my best to curb behaviors and make it work and essentially gave them an ultimatum on Friday. Today has been even worse. Host DB was home to see behavior and essentially said after today he doesn’t want the child in his home again. I agree. It’s truly that bad. However, I do feel a bit guilty about not giving this family two weeks. If I was their personal nanny I’d work through it, but it’s not fair to my lovely host family or sweet G3 to have this child around any longer.

This is the first time I’ve had a share go south. I’m dreading the conversation, I’ve never been in a situation like this.

Any help with how to professionally but firmly let the family know I will no longer be caring for their child starting tomorrow? I’m totally ok with not getting paid for today.

“Incredibly violent, aggressive and destructive” and you’re worried about how to dismiss him “professionally”?? You HAVE to be a troll. Or super stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does G3 stand for? Also, many kids' aggressive behavior can be mended with naps, big breakfast, and no screen time. It may be that this is a rough transition and things settle down after a month or so. parents however should have "prepared" their child for transition by giving lots of rest, nutritional breakfast before coming into share (not just a handful of cheerios like some do), and most importantly, start with just a few hours a day and not a full day. Good luck to all parties!
"

This is a very lame response.

Screen time does not affect how a child (mis)behaves!!?

What the hell??

Continuous screentime with the parents and none with the nanny can easily lead to misbehavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did it go, OP?

Not great. I very quickly found out where the child got his temper and potty mouth. It was an ordeal but we’ve moved through and found a better family with a child who gets along great with G3.

So all is well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been with my current host family since G3 was 3-months-old and they’re some of the best people I’ve ever worked for. We were all very lucky to be with in a share with a family that was just as great. A similarly aged boy who got along really well with G3. Unfortunately they moved away last month and the family I found to replace him has been a nightmare.

The family lied about so much. Their child’s schedule, behavior, how they discipline to name a few. The boy is a little older than G3 but way behind developmentally (closer to a 24-30 month old) and is incredibly violent, aggressive and destructive. He started last Monday and it was awful. I had a long hard discussion with parents and they were super dismissive of my concerns. I really tried my best to curb behaviors and make it work and essentially gave them an ultimatum on Friday. Today has been even worse. Host DB was home to see behavior and essentially said after today he doesn’t want the child in his home again. I agree. It’s truly that bad. However, I do feel a bit guilty about not giving this family two weeks. If I was their personal nanny I’d work through it, but it’s not fair to my lovely host family or sweet G3 to have this child around any longer.

This is the first time I’ve had a share go south. I’m dreading the conversation, I’ve never been in a situation like this.

Any help with how to professionally but firmly let the family know I will no longer be caring for their child starting tomorrow? I’m totally ok with not getting paid for today.

“Incredibly violent, aggressive and destructive” and you’re worried about how to dismiss him “professionally”?? You HAVE to be a troll. Or super stupid.

Nope. Just a profesional who takes her job very seriously.

I can’t control this family or their child’s behaviors. I, however, can conduct how I conduct myself. I understand that’s a foreign concept to many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been with my current host family since G3 was 3-months-old and they’re some of the best people I’ve ever worked for. We were all very lucky to be with in a share with a family that was just as great. A similarly aged boy who got along really well with G3. Unfortunately they moved away last month and the family I found to replace him has been a nightmare.

The family lied about so much. Their child’s schedule, behavior, how they discipline to name a few. The boy is a little older than G3 but way behind developmentally (closer to a 24-30 month old) and is incredibly violent, aggressive and destructive. He started last Monday and it was awful. I had a long hard discussion with parents and they were super dismissive of my concerns. I really tried my best to curb behaviors and make it work and essentially gave them an ultimatum on Friday. Today has been even worse. Host DB was home to see behavior and essentially said after today he doesn’t want the child in his home again. I agree. It’s truly that bad. However, I do feel a bit guilty about not giving this family two weeks. If I was their personal nanny I’d work through it, but it’s not fair to my lovely host family or sweet G3 to have this child around any longer.

This is the first time I’ve had a share go south. I’m dreading the conversation, I’ve never been in a situation like this.

Any help with how to professionally but firmly let the family know I will no longer be caring for their child starting tomorrow? I’m totally ok with not getting paid for today.

“Incredibly violent, aggressive and destructive” and you’re worried about how to dismiss him “professionally”?? You HAVE to be a troll. Or super stupid.

Nope. Just a profesional who takes her job very seriously.

I can’t control this family or their child’s behaviors. I, however, can conduct how I conduct myself. I understand that’s a foreign concept to many.

*control

[Anonymous]

Any professional would have let the lying parents of the violent child go after day one.