Nanny wanting to bring their child - is there ever any benefit to the employing family?

[Anonymous]

I am searching for a PT nanny for my 3 year old son who is in a PreK 2 days/week. I'm paying $28/hr, for 25hrs/week.

I am seeing an increasing number of applicants who want to being their infant or young child. I have tried this on three different occasions wanting to see if it would benefit us, it never brought us any benefit and brought extra chaos, mess, and provided no actual benefit to my son for socialization. I find most nannies claim it benefits socialization, but it really doesn't. My kid was usually overstimulated at the end of the day, he's never been in a daycare environment or had playdates for 8+ hours/day, so for him to be in close quarters with another kid who he has zero bond with proved to be stressful on him.

On all 3 occasions, I've found it's double the mess. D

Diapers from the nanny who brought her young infant tend to pile up in the garbage and the nanny never took it out to the main garbage. The napping schedule of their infant didn't mesh, my son would be left alone for long periods during nap times, feedings. There was an issue of carseats and the amount of work the nanny had to do to schlep everything inside and outside the house.

One nanny brought her 4 y/o who was supposed to be in preschool but had some behavioral issues and broke several of my sons toys and didn't last past the initial day.

One "nanny" was really just a SAHM looking to earn more income and asked if her older son could sleep in my sons bed and spent more time and attention playing with her son, with my kids toys while ignoring my son and barely engaged with him.

And yes, all 3 came with references and resumes. I interviewed and background checked all and did trial shifts. It never worked out.

I'm wondering if any families have found the nanny bringing their kid seems to benefit them? I'm getting really tired of trying to find a nanny, only to have the candidate not read the post that I'm not looking for someone to bring their kid and it really makes me doubt the professionalism if they lack reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

I consider it a nanny share and you shouldn't be paying full salary for a share.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Nope. It’s beneficial for the nanny in two ways - first, the obvious - she avoids having to find and pay for childcare for her kid. Second, ideally her kid and yours will be great playmates and that will relieve her from having to be your kid’s playmate. But that may work for an occasional play date. Two toddlers around each other 8 hrs / day will fight. Add in the extra mess for you, extra exposure your kid gets to illnesses and colds, and the lack of attention your kid gets in favor of the nanny’s own kid, and it’s a net negative for sure.

[Anonymous]

No way. I’d be fine if it was a third party child in a nanny share but your own? Absolutely not, for no amount of money.

[Anonymous]

A benefit would be you pay less. It’s like a share. Unless you have a tiny kitchen trash can I can’t see how 3-4 diapers a day ( realistically in 8 hours it’s probably less) takes up that much space? 4 diapers would take up less than 10% of the space in my kitchen trash can. You sound a bit over the top. Nevertheless if it hasn’t worked for you in the past, stop trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am searching for a PT nanny for my 3 year old son who is in a PreK 2 days/week. I'm paying $28/hr, for 25hrs/week.

I am seeing an increasing number of applicants who want to being their infant or young child. I have tried this on three different occasions wanting to see if it would benefit us, it never brought us any benefit and brought extra chaos, mess, and provided no actual benefit to my son for socialization. I find most nannies claim it benefits socialization, but it really doesn't. My kid was usually overstimulated at the end of the day, he's never been in a daycare environment or had playdates for 8+ hours/day, so for him to be in close quarters with another kid who he has zero bond with proved to be stressful on him.

On all 3 occasions, I've found it's double the mess. D

Diapers from the nanny who brought her young infant tend to pile up in the garbage and the nanny never took it out to the main garbage. The napping schedule of their infant didn't mesh, my son would be left alone for long periods during nap times, feedings. There was an issue of carseats and the amount of work the nanny had to do to schlep everything inside and outside the house.

One nanny brought her 4 y/o who was supposed to be in preschool but had some behavioral issues and broke several of my sons toys and didn't last past the initial day.

One "nanny" was really just a SAHM looking to earn more income and asked if her older son could sleep in my sons bed and spent more time and attention playing with her son, with my kids toys while ignoring my son and barely engaged with him.

And yes, all 3 came with references and resumes. I interviewed and background checked all and did trial shifts. It never worked out.

I'm wondering if any families have found the nanny bringing their kid seems to benefit them? I'm getting really tired of trying to find a nanny, only to have the candidate not read the post that I'm not looking for someone to bring their kid and it really makes me doubt the professionalism if they lack reading comprehension.[/quote

Did you find the candidates through an agency? We got a wonderful PT Nanny for our 3YO daughter through Nanny Poppinz. Our nanny never ever asked if she can bring her children to our home. We pay $30 hourly.

[Anonymous]

OP do you have a way to contact you? I would be interested in speaking. My children are adults so I wouldn’t be bringing them with me.

[Anonymous]

I think there can be benefits. If the nanny is a great nanny to begin with and highly professional and can manage multiple children, having a great nanny is much better than having a mediocre one. It sounds like two of those nannies would have been mediocre without bringing their kids, so the kids are only a second problem.

I do think your child having some socialization (sharing, taking turns, waiting, having a playmate) is not a bad thing. My younger two are much more verbal at an earlier age, potty trained earlier, and really enjoy playing with each other. They are 4 and 2. There are certainly conflicts and times when they don't want to share, but there are many more times where they have a blast and play together. Plus my 4 year old likes to have someone to direct during play, since the 8 year old often directs her.

But, having a mediocre nanny is terrible and having a mediocre nanny who is distracted or doesn't manage routines well for two kids is really not great.

I agree with a pp that you might need to go with a nanny agency to get someone better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A benefit would be you pay less. It’s like a share. Unless you have a tiny kitchen trash can I can’t see how 3-4 diapers a day ( realistically in 8 hours it’s probably less) takes up that much space? 4 diapers would take up less than 10% of the space in my kitchen trash can. You sound a bit over the top. Nevertheless if it hasn’t worked for you in the past, stop trying.

Ewww you put soiled diapers in your kitchen trash? Gross, get an Ubbi or diaper genie. Your home probably smells like dirty diapers and you don’t know it because you’re used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A benefit would be you pay less. It’s like a share. Unless you have a tiny kitchen trash can I can’t see how 3-4 diapers a day ( realistically in 8 hours it’s probably less) takes up that much space? 4 diapers would take up less than 10% of the space in my kitchen trash can. You sound a bit over the top. Nevertheless if it hasn’t worked for you in the past, stop trying.

Ewww you put soiled diapers in your kitchen trash? Gross, get an Ubbi or diaper genie. Your home probably smells like dirty diapers and you don’t know it because you’re used to it.

nope. It gets bagged in a dog poop bag and is just fine, no odor whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A benefit would be you pay less. It’s like a share. Unless you have a tiny kitchen trash can I can’t see how 3-4 diapers a day ( realistically in 8 hours it’s probably less) takes up that much space? 4 diapers would take up less than 10% of the space in my kitchen trash can. You sound a bit over the top. Nevertheless if it hasn’t worked for you in the past, stop trying.

Ewww you put soiled diapers in your kitchen trash? Gross, get an Ubbi or diaper genie. Your home probably smells like dirty diapers and you don’t know it because you’re used to it.

I hated going to a friend's house because it smelled of dirty diapers. She did not notice it. Gross.

Back on topic, i tried the system of my nanny bringing her own toddler, but she only wanted to speak Spanish to him and my daughter. I insisted she use English in the house as my child is already learning Italian from her dad and I felt it was too early to introduce a third language. It did not work out.

[Anonymous]

To all PPs, but why on Earth are hiring a nanny who will be bringing her own child? Isn't the outcome quite obvious? Of course, if it is the only childcare you can afford then I totally understand. There are literally hundreds of child-free nannies out there.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny who brought both of my kids with me (different years). I was with first family for 5 years and another one for 3 years. Both kids were around the same age. It worked great. Didn’t charge less. Both of my kids who are 5 and 10 years old are still friends with the other children (meaning we still do play dates, get together once in a while etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny who brought both of my kids with me (different years). I was with first family for 5 years and another one for 3 years. Both kids were around the same age. It worked great. Didn’t charge less. Both of my kids who are 5 and 10 years old are still friends with the other children (meaning we still do play dates, get together once in a while etc).

Exactly what were you paid? Also, I don't believe you. The timing would work atrociously with the second family given that you apparently had a baby and a 5 year old.