Advice on hosting a bropair?

[Anonymous]

We have had many female AP in the past, and recently matched with a bropair. Any advice on welcome basket/activities? Also, I can barely get DH and DC to clean up after themselves, so I'm a little wary despite the fact that our incoming BP has had significant child care experience. Every female we've had has been extremely neat/organized/fastidious. I'm hoping that's attributable to our selection process, but I also feel like that's every female I know! Please share your experiences!

[Anonymous]

What did you put in the welcome basket for the females? I would be very clear in your handbook regarding cleaning up and cleanliness expectations. I don’t think you dhooo you do hold him to a higher standard than the other men in your family though. I know one family with a make au pair from Brazil and he’s lovely.

[Anonymous]

Ideas for welcome basket : hoodie, cap, nice waterbottle, some m&ms and other snacks, a set from bath and body works etc ...

If your DH and DC can't clean up after themselves, don't expect the bropair to do it, that'd be extremely rude, BUT ask him to clean up after himself and to remind your DC to do his chores.

[Anonymous]

We had female aupairs who were complete slobs who rarely cleaned up without being asked. I'm not sure it's a gender thing.

[Anonymous]

I've hosted three.

I don't do a welcome basket - they get a new set of sheets and new towels (but they honestly don't really even care about that).

I've found you do have to do more hand-holding in some regards, but not in others. They're a little less likely to be on the phone while at the park with the kids and more likely to play with them. They're better drivers generally, but need reminders about checking pockets before laundry (as an example) and packing decent lunches. Overall cleanliness is not related to gender, nor is overall motivation and initiative.

[Anonymous]

Ours really enjoyed the gym membership we offered all our au pairs.
We had German males are way more than the females.
One of our bro pairs slept with probably half his cluster and half of Mcleans other cluster. We think he probably slept with a couple of the ES teachers too. Maybe some wives in the neighborhood.

He was great with kids though.

The males are individuals like the girls so some were super punctual and organized and others not so much. In general - the males were better with our boys than the females after about age 7.
Our males all were into soccer and joined leagues in dc and Arlington: so they made a lot of US male friends and obviously had lots of female access thru the program.

[Anonymous]

Eat way more than the females meant to type

[Anonymous]

Thought about doing this, too. Unsolicited comments to me were not to do this because other parents might worry about a male around their kids. Is that paranoia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've hosted three.

I don't do a welcome basket - they get a new set of sheets and new towels (but they honestly don't really even care about that).

I've found you do have to do more hand-holding in some regards, but not in others. They're a little less likely to be on the phone while at the park with the kids and more likely to play with them. They're better drivers generally, but need reminders about checking pockets before laundry (as an example) and packing decent lunches. Overall cleanliness is not related to gender, nor is overall motivation and initiative.

That's HUGE. Not just for safety but for modeling behavior.