At what point do you actually follow through and make the au pair pay the consequences

[Anonymous]

Long-time host mom here - I've always had a rule - I'll pay for the first traffic/speeding ticket, but any further would have to be paid by the au pair. Every single au pair has gotten one, but not a second, so I've never had to put that to the test.

Current au pair has called home on our phone line at various points. I didn't catch it the first few times as I don't pay that much attention to my phone bill. I recognized I can't do much about older bills after the fact, but last month we did have a talk with them about using the multitude of web-based ways to call home in lieu of the cell line. They protested every which way that they couldn't have called home, but we warned them that they would have to pay any subsequent charges. Well, lo and behold, they've racked up nearly $200 worth of calls this month. On the one hand I did warn them and they failed to make any corrective action, on the other hand, its nearly a week's stipend and I'm actually not sure of the legality of withholding their stipend, so I'll call the local coordinator as well, but I'm curious how others have handled this situation?

[Anonymous]

I'm stuck on the fact you have a home phone.

She has to pay the bill. Find out what time of day the calls were made. Was she the only one home?

I mean, that's just stupid. WhatsApp is free. She doesn't sound too intelligent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long-time host mom here - I've always had a rule - I'll pay for the first traffic/speeding ticket, but any further would have to be paid by the au pair. Every single au pair has gotten one, but not a second, so I've never had to put that to the test.

Current au pair has called home on our phone line at various points. I didn't catch it the first few times as I don't pay that much attention to my phone bill. I recognized I can't do much about older bills after the fact, but last month we did have a talk with them about using the multitude of web-based ways to call home in lieu of the cell line. They protested every which way that they couldn't have called home, but we warned them that they would have to pay any subsequent charges. Well, lo and behold, they've racked up nearly $200 worth of calls this month. On the one hand I did warn them and they failed to make any corrective action, on the other hand, its nearly a week's stipend and I'm actually not sure of the legality of withholding their stipend, so I'll call the local coordinator as well, but I'm curious how others have handled this situation?

Do you mean she called home on her cell phone which you pay for? Call your cell provider and turn off international calling on her cellphone. Charge her $50/week until she pays back the bill. That's crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Long-time host mom here - I've always had a rule - I'll pay for the first traffic/speeding ticket, but any further would have to be paid by the au pair. Every single au pair has gotten one, but not a second, so I've never had to put that to the test.

Current au pair has called home on our phone line at various points. I didn't catch it the first few times as I don't pay that much attention to my phone bill. I recognized I can't do much about older bills after the fact, but last month we did have a talk with them about using the multitude of web-based ways to call home in lieu of the cell line. They protested every which way that they couldn't have called home, but we warned them that they would have to pay any subsequent charges. Well, lo and behold, they've racked up nearly $200 worth of calls this month. On the one hand I did warn them and they failed to make any corrective action, on the other hand, its nearly a week's stipend and I'm actually not sure of the legality of withholding their stipend, so I'll call the local coordinator as well, but I'm curious how others have handled this situation?

Do you mean she called home on her cell phone which you pay for? Call your cell provider and turn off international calling on her cellphone. Charge her $50/week until she pays back the bill. That's crazy.

Yes, that's what I mean. I had looked into turning off the service briefly and couldn't find the info readily on the provider's website, but digging into it further, I see now where I have to call to do so. I do like the idea of paying back a portion each week - that feels better than a lump sum that will mean a meager week.

[Anonymous]

Definitely turn off international calling. But you have a bigger problem. She's ignoring you so expect a reaction when she finds out she can't call home on your dime anymore. Time for a rematch.

[Anonymous]

I would rematch if your au pair is so clueless that she doesn’t use WhatsApp like everyone else. She knows what WhatsApp is, probably uses it for texting everyday. She doesn’t care or doesn’t know how much it costs you.

[Anonymous]

My AP did the same thing in her first month. I then showed her how to make calls without incurring fees. I told her I’d cover the first time but she was on the hook for subsequent calls. No issues after that. So either your AP doesn’t understand (isn’t too bright?) or she doesn’t care.

My AP also incurred a lot of data fees from using her phone 24-7. She would stream movies on our data plan! I paid the fees and then switched to unlimited data (a more expensive plan) bc I didn’t want to have to police her data usage or teach her to connect to Wi-Fi everywhere she went.

[Anonymous]

We always buy a one year pre paid plan. That way its not possible to go over.

[Anonymous]

I always laugh when people think an Aupair is the cheaper route haha now you’re broke and have another child on your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always laugh when people think an Aupair is the cheaper route haha now you’re broke and have another child on your hands.

thanks for the wonderful insight. Nane a nanny that will work a split shift, above the table and costs under $45,000 a year including all employment taxes. Also add only 2 weeks of paid time off and no sick official sick leave.

So.....come up with any?

While it isn't perfect, or "cheap", it's a less expensive option for families who need awkward scheduled hours or have multiple children who need afternoon care. It's not as inexpensive as other forms of childcare, but as with anything, it's all about pros and cons.

Yes, aupairs are another young person living in your home that often is a PITA with their own agendas here in the USA. Our option was daycare with my son who was not doing well in group childcare, aupair or me leaving my job and our family cutting way back. We chose to try aupair as childcare and it worked. We couldn't afford a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always laugh when people think an Aupair is the cheaper route haha now you’re broke and have another child on your hands.

thanks for the wonderful insight. Nane a nanny that will work a split shift, above the table and costs under $45,000 a year including all employment taxes. Also add only 2 weeks of paid time off and no sick official sick leave.

So.....come up with any?

While it isn't perfect, or "cheap", it's a less expensive option for families who need awkward scheduled hours or have multiple children who need afternoon care. It's not as inexpensive as other forms of childcare, but as with anything, it's all about pros and cons.

Yes, aupairs are another young person living in your home that often is a PITA with their own agendas here in the USA. Our option was daycare with my son who was not doing well in group childcare, aupair or me leaving my job and our family cutting way back. We chose to try aupair as childcare and it worked. We couldn't afford a nanny.

Well said!! This constant diatribe about how much better a nanny would be is so tiresome. All one needs to do is take a quick glance at the nanny forum to see it is not a problem free childcare solution either. No the Au Pair program isn't perfect, but it works really well for a lot of us.

[Anonymous]

What does driving have to do with her calling home? Nothing?

[Anonymous]

Back in the day ( 30 years ago) I was an au pair and we only got $100 a week then. A friend of mine wracked up $900 calling her boyfriend in England. Her family gave her $20 a week until it was paid off. They could have cut her some slack imo and maybe split it with her.

[Anonymous]

this au pair sounds too stupid to me, how can you trust your kids to someone with such low intelligence? There is always good old skype, everyone knows about skype.

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t trust someone to take care of my kids who can’t figure out how to use WhatsApp/iMessage/Viber/Line/KakaoTalk etc. to talk with her family abroad.