Special Needs

[Anonymous]

Hi, has anyone had experience hiring an au-pair knowledgeable about special needs? Anecdotally, I know some families were able to get an AP in their mid-twenties that had some SN training (OT or PT vocational training or courses). Is this something an agency would be able to help identify?
I also have an option to sponsor a domestic employee (i.e. I don't need to go via AP program), but I don't have access to a pool of applicants from where I can find good candidates.
Is there a forum where former APs or would-be APs hang out? Sorry if my question is too weird.

[Anonymous]

One of our previous APs was SN-certified by the agency. She matched with a family with SN and they treated her really poorly, so she asked for rematch a few months in, and ended up with us. She had nursing background and was great with our kids, who are not SN.

You have to read about their experience very closely, because they can vary quite a bit. But you can certainly search with this filter. Another one of our previous AP s was also SN-certified, but in her case I think she had only spent the minimal number of hours required working at a SN children's place. She was having a hard time with one of our kids, so I can't imagine how she'd do with SN kids day in and day out.

[Anonymous]

Without much details on what kind of SN, I generally wouldn’t recommend an AP for it especially if they require a lot of patience and extra work. They’re young kids who are more focused on traveling and going out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without much details on what kind of SN, I generally wouldn’t recommend an AP for it especially if they require a lot of patience and extra work. They’re young kids who are more focused on traveling and going out.

I've heard of ppl hiring an OP in mid-20s, more mature than some of the younger ones. SN is mild, so it's not heavy extra work. I just want someone who has had experience working with children on the spectrum and understands some basic approaches (or is generally aware and trainable). We have a professional nanny and it's been a struggle to coach her.

[Anonymous]

I'm the first PP. I actually think you could find someone that meets your needs. The AP I mentioned who rematched with us, her first host family had a much harder case of SN. She never complained of working with the SN child (who was 13 and required a lot of physical work), but that the host family was making her do chores completely outside of the program guidelines and treating her like cheap labor. If they had treated her with basic decency and respect, she would have stayed with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without much details on what kind of SN, I generally wouldn’t recommend an AP for it especially if they require a lot of patience and extra work. They’re young kids who are more focused on traveling and going out.

I've heard of ppl hiring an OP in mid-20s, more mature than some of the younger ones. SN is mild, so it's not heavy extra work. I just want someone who has had experience working with children on the spectrum and understands some basic approaches (or is generally aware and trainable). We have a professional nanny and it's been a struggle to coach her.

Then you have a subpar nanny. Mild sn don’t need much coaching.

~live-in nanny, specializing in moderate to severe autism and other behavioral/intellectual/emotional sn

[Anonymous]

We have successfully hosted 5 APs with our mildly SN child - I look for slightly older and older siblings who have lived away from home. For our child, special training wasnt needed, but willingness to learn was key. Really just someone kind who would understand a little more patience was needed.

[Anonymous]

When you have a child with special needs it's not fair to try to save money hoping someone qualified will work for low pay for your child. Typically if you want an educated and experienced caregiver for special needs you need to pay more.

[Anonymous]

Proaupair is an agency that focuses on providing au pairs for kids with special needs. Most of their au pairs come from Germany and Austria and are just finishing a three year program to become an OT, PT, or SLP, which also includes a series of internships. Because of this, the candidate pool tends to be older than in other agencies and more mature. Many also have additional experience working with different types of special needs and want to use their time as an au pair to further grow professionally. We have hosted four au pairs through this program and love it.

It’s more expensive than other au pair programs but has been fantastic for us.

[Anonymous]

I just don't understand when parents need a specialized, educated caregiver but don't want to pay. Hire an American with education and experience needed to care for the special needs child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't understand when parents need a specialized, educated caregiver but don't want to pay. Hire an American with education and experience needed to care for the special needs child.

You are assuming that they want an Au pair for cheap labor. Believe it or not, a lot of families are drawn to the au pair program for culture exchange and a flexible schedule. The OP mentioned that their child has mild special needs. If an Au pair with special training wants to match with a family with special needs, that their choice. I am not what your problem is. Also, unless a family is using all 45 hours or they have young kids, the AP program is not cheaper. When we were in the program we used Less than 20 hours because our kids were in school. When we joined the program we knew that wasn’t going to be cheaper but we had a split schedule because of school and one of our kids had an interest in foreign language and culture, so we decided to host. Check the comparison in cost below for our family.

Current before and after school cost
$1200/month (180/week) - monthly average includes cost of summer
We only need 3 hours a day, 4 days a week. We’re using a college student.

Cost with Au pair
Stipend about 850/month or 200/week
Car for Au pair 150/month
Auto insurance for Au pair 100/month
Groceries for Au pair 200/month
Cell phone for Au pair 40/month
Gas card $50/ month
Extra cost for electric and water: unable to calculate (but bill is lower now)
Cost of using the agency 800/month
Additional vacation cost for Au pair 6000/ year ( 2 international/year)
Retention bonus 1000/year given in month 6 and 10

Total cost of hosting 2140/month vs 1200/month now. I did not include the retention bonus, vacation and gas card because this was our choice. It always puzzles me when people make having an Au pair seem like cheap labor. For family with 2 or more non school age kids it ends up being cheaper but those parents often have a hard keeping APs once they start comparing. Having an Au pair is a luxury, not everyone can afford. We did it for 2 years and have no regrets. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. We all knew what we getting ourselves into. We benefited from the cultural exchange experience. Our first AP took advantage and had the true American experience going to football games, base ball, clubs, took solo trips to the West cost, Florida and New York. Our second Au pair was more reserved. I think her goal was to find an American boyfriend which she did. She is doing her second year with another family. She is thriving. She and her boyfriend are discussing getting married after her second year. None of our AP asked for more other football or baseball tickets whenever we did plan to use them (first AP) and extra day off here and there (second AP to spend with her boyfriend). We didn’t mind because we had easy access to tickets and between my husband and my self we really only needed 4 days of childcare and so we gladly gave 3 day weekend occasionally.

To any future Au pairs reading this, you are signing up for $200/week which comes out to be about $4/hr if the family needs you for the max amount of time. You sign up knowing that this is the case. I am guessing you will sign up because you think the family is a good match for cultural experience. When get here, you will find that other APs have it better than you. If the family treats you with respect and are not breaking things you agreed upon, make the best if your time. If having all these perks is important to you, interview number of families and find the best family for you. Additionally, you are not going to make what Nannies make but you will also not have the expenses Nannie’s have (Rent, car payment, insurance, groceries, cell phone, internet, electric, water…) . In our area, these can come up to $1500-2000 if you’re renting a room in someone’s house. Would be a lot more if you rent your own apartment. When you find yourself comparing yourself to a nanny. Remember that most nannies don’t have 850 leftover after they pay their expenses every month.

[Anonymous]

I think you could absolutely find an AP to fit your needs!

Screen applicants VERY well. My AP lied about her experience - she didn’t even know how to change a diaper or handle a bottle! - and I was shocked at how little “vetting” the agency did. They should’ve caught it. And I should have, but I assumed the agency had.

Double check she has the experience she says she does! Don’t rely on the agency to do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just don't understand when parents need a specialized, educated caregiver but don't want to pay. Hire an American with education and experience needed to care for the special needs child.

maybe they need non traditional hours that a Nanny doesn’t want. OP I was an au pair many years ago and had s friend who had 2 kids, one of which had a feeding tube and severe SN. The parents trained my friend what to do.

[Anonymous]

Cheap labor and Nanny vs. Aupair debates aside...

Yes, you can find an au pair willing to work with a special needs child who maybe has adhd or level 1 autism or something similar. It will not be easy to match or to retain the au pair so think long and hard about hosting.
We hosted au pairs to handle childcare and our son was diagnosed as level 1 autism when he was 3 and we were already hosting. Our au pairs have been great. We've had one rematch with AuPairCare because their recruiter told the applicants to match with the first offer and rematch when you get here if you are unhappy. She didn't wanted to be living in a beach house somewhere and rematched to find her dream lifestyle.
Be 100% up front. Do not gloss over the difficulties in order to look more promotable as a family.
Pay more than the average stipend (we didn't, but I hear it helps now. We gave bonuses throughout the year).
Keep the schedule with shorter days and weekends free, if possible.
Don't ask for laundry or straightening kids rooms
Offer a car for them to drive.

The bottom line is to treat your au pair well and make sure for the presumed 'extra effort' of a special needs child, they are compensated with the extras. We treated our au pairs as family - really, we did. None of this will matter if your child truly needs a lot more care than what an au pair can provide. We needed someone with extra patience. The ability to understand an autistic child may want to play a lot of minecraft and eat the exact same thing daily. That he may become upset if things change or if he feels you are anxious.
We hosted au pairs who had siblings who were on the spectrum or one whose parents were OT specialist for autistic people. They 'got' it.

Good luck with your search. It wasn't the cheapest option for childcare and much more than a nanny longterm. It was worth it because my child did better knowing a care provider better than if they lived elsewhere. Interacting more with them. The au pairs who treated us like a job and didn't interact other than chidlcare hours had a harder time with him. Luckily, he's old enough to stay solo at home now, but au pairs were super helpful.