Awkward meeting our ex Nanny at the mall

[Anonymous]

My husband, kids and I ran into our Nanny last night at the mall.nanny gave her notice three months ago and we parted ok. She told us she had a family emergency and was unable to care for our kids. We assumed she was out of the county but now, she works at the local mall and when my husband asked her about her family? She just gave him a blank look and said her good by and went back to work. Wtf just happened?

My question is why lie? She could have been honest and just quit

[Anonymous]

Because telling someone "I find your overbearing and your children are not kind to each other and have no schedule" feels mean when you are leaving. "You job creep all the time and don't care about my schedule or the fact that I am punctual and never call out" does not feel fruitful when you have no intention of staying and just want a graceful exit. Even "I think we have grown apart" or "this job is not really meeting my needs anymore" feels hard when you just want out. So, family emergency is "easier" and allows an easy, no push back, no angry feelings exit on all sides.


She may also have not lied. She may have had a family emergency (sick parent who passed quickly, sister in abusive relationship who moved in with them) and either it is resolved and she needed a new job or it is not resolved but she wanted something that would be easier to manage. I know being with kids all day is hard and demanding and can be frustrating. She might have just wanted to sell blenders and pans at Macy's and not have to give so much emotionally while dealing with a family issue.

She was also probably not interested in getting into any of the specifics while at her new job, so she just hustled away.

[Anonymous]

Most parents have a meltdown when the nanny resigns. It doesn’t seem to much matter how many years you stayed with them. If you don’t stay as long as they want, it often doesn’t end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most parents have a meltdown when the nanny resigns. It doesn’t seem to much matter how many years you stayed with them. If you don’t stay as long as they want, it often doesn’t end well.

Omg, yes

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you felt entitled to her reasons after she left and many parents fire their Nannie’s immediately or give notice without specifics or even lie yet Nannie’s are expected to do deal with it & move on(and many do).

[Anonymous]

Likely, she got tired of dealing with you or was underpaid. No hurt feelings, she has to do what works best for her as you’d do, also.You don’t own your nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband, kids and I ran into our Nanny last night at the mall.nanny gave her notice three months ago and we parted ok. She told us she had a family emergency and was unable to care for our kids. We assumed she was out of the county but now, she works at the local mall and when my husband asked her about her family? She just gave him a blank look and said her good by and went back to work. Wtf just happened?

My question is why lie? She could have been honest and just quit

She didn't want to tell you that she cannot stand you and that your children are spoiled brats. Now that you know you can try to be nice.

[Anonymous]

Respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because telling someone "I find your overbearing and your children are not kind to each other and have no schedule" feels mean when you are leaving. "You job creep all the time and don't care about my schedule or the fact that I am punctual and never call out" does not feel fruitful when you have no intention of staying and just want a graceful exit. Even "I think we have grown apart" or "this job is not really meeting my needs anymore" feels hard when you just want out. So, family emergency is "easier" and allows an easy, no push back, no angry feelings exit on all sides.


She may also have not lied. She may have had a family emergency (sick parent who passed quickly, sister in abusive relationship who moved in with them) and either it is resolved and she needed a new job or it is not resolved but she wanted something that would be easier to manage. I know being with kids all day is hard and demanding and can be frustrating. She might have just wanted to sell blenders and pans at Macy's and not have to give so much emotionally while dealing with a family issue.

She was also probably not interested in getting into any of the specifics while at her new job, so she just hustled away.

This 100%. I wanted to quit my job almost every Monday

[Anonymous]

She might not have lied. The problem might be over with now.

She might have needed a job with a more flexible schedule so she can also handle the family emergency.

Her emergency might have been not wanting to work for you anymore for any of a million reasons. Taking care of her own needs can be considered a family emergency.

She might not have wanted to start any drama by telling you the truth.

Who knows? If you liked her, feel free to reach out and say it was nice to see her and you hope she's doing well. Offer to call for date night gigs if you/she want.

[Anonymous]

Sorry this happened to you OP, but they all do this. It's the reason 90+% of them give, especially if they leave at short notice, and it's almost always to get a new position. You deserve better

[Anonymous]

She didn’t want to nanny any more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry this happened to you OP, but they all do this. It's the reason 90+% of them give, especially if they leave at short notice, and it's almost always to get a new position. You deserve better

Except she didn't. She is working at the mall. Even if this is, who cares, but it is also not the case here. She moved to something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband, kids and I ran into our Nanny last night at the mall.nanny gave her notice three months ago and we parted ok. She told us she had a family emergency and was unable to care for our kids. We assumed she was out of the county but now, she works at the local mall and when my husband asked her about her family? She just gave him a blank look and said her good by and went back to work. Wtf just happened?

My question is why lie? She could have been honest and just quit

Does it really matter? She didn't quit to personally be mean to you. She moved on to another job. People do it all the time. I think the fact that you even ask this question answers it for you. You are oversensitive about it and would have been obnoxious in person about it so she skipped all the drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most parents have a meltdown when the nanny resigns. It doesn’t seem to much matter how many years you stayed with them. If you don’t stay as long as they want, it often doesn’t end well.

That is very true.
In other words must of the families only think about what is best for them.In the other hand,a nanny will stay longer in a job they don’t like because they think about what is best for the little kids.