Who is right?

[Anonymous]

Today, my nanny was supposed to pick up my child at school at 2:30. He has another activity (karate) nearby the school at 2:45. The school is about a 30 minute drive from my house, but you have to take the highway. Today, there was an accident on the highway on the way to school, and nanny got caught in traffic. She looked at Waze (after she got caught in the traffic) and Waze said a 30 minute delay. So, at 2:15, she knew that she wasn't going to be at my son's school until 3:00 instead of 2:30, so she would have picked him up 30 minutes late, and they would have been 30 minutes late to his 50 minute karate class.

If you were the nanny in this situation, what would you have done?

My view is I'm mad she didn't call me at 2:15, when she knew what was going on. I get that she was stuck in traffic and it wasn't her fault (there isn't usually traffic on this highway), and I even get that my son is safe at his school while he would've waiting to have been picked up late, but she should've called me and told me what was going on. I could've easily asked on of my mom friends from the school to just pick up my son (and they probably could've even taken him to karate).

Instead, she did nothing. I get a call from the school at 2:35 asking who is picking up my son. I'm obviously worried by this call. I call the nanny and she tells me what happened. She's adamant that she did nothing wrong because it's not her fault that there's traffic. I say I agree the traffic part is not your fault, but if you're going to be 30 minutes late (even for a valid reason) in this day and age, the least you can do is call or text me to let me know. I was so mad. I yelled at her and really let her have it, and now I feel bad, but I also am really mad about what she did.

We've had similar incidents like this before, when things go wrong that are not her fault, but instead of keeping me in the loop or trying to solve the problem, she just does nothing and then the situation gets even worse. It's so frustrating.

[Anonymous]

How long has she been your Nanny? Personally my bosses wouldn’t have wanted to know if they thought I could handle it. I would have called a mom friend and had them get the kid for me or called the school to advise of delay. I would have told them when they got home that we missed Karate. If you are more hands on with the day to day activities then yes she should have told you. Not just left him hanging at school.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny. I agree that doing nothing was wrong. She should have contacted you & school. I think you should have talked to her in a calm manner letting her know in the future if something like that happens she needs to take action.

[Anonymous]

Agree that if she wasn’t going to call you (and I can understand why she wouldn’t want to disrupt your work) she should have called the school and let them know!

Maybe she didn’t realize it would be a big deal. I have one kid in a school where if you are two minutes late, they will wonder where you are - and be very put out. My other kid’s school’s pick up line is so long you could be 20 minutes late and there would still be a line.

[Anonymous]

She should have called both you and the school to let you know and make another plan or at least so the school knows something is going on and if they have after care put him in it. I would be concerned about this. Traffic is not her fault but communication is.

[Anonymous]

You were both wrong. Nanny should have informed you immediately of the delay, and you shouldn’t have yelled. Sounds like she’s low on common sense which is something to consider.

[Anonymous]

Well for one going to karate would’ve been last on the list haha

[Anonymous]

You're both in the wrong. She should have communicated with you about the traffic once she knew how late she would be.

I can't believe you yelled at another adult over something like this, though. That's not okay and you owe her an apology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're both in the wrong. She should have communicated with you about the traffic once she knew how late she would be.

I can't believe you yelled at another adult over something like this, though. That's not okay and you owe her an apology.

I think we would need more context to know if the yelling was inappropriate. Age of kid, pick up protocol at school, etc. If it’s a nice private school where the kid was never in any danger (and only the teacher was inconvenienced by watching the kid), yes - inappropriate. If the kid was basically left to his own devices and could have left school property, unsupervised, hell yeah this mom should let the nanny have it. Lots of bad stuff could’ve happened.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you need to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Well, you “yelled at her and really let her have it,” so in this nanny job market, she’ll likely quit and you’ll be looking for a new nanny and driving your own son to karate in the meantime.

Before you hire again, learn to manage your temper like an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're both in the wrong. She should have communicated with you about the traffic once she knew how late she would be.

I can't believe you yelled at another adult over something like this, though. That's not okay and you owe her an apology.

I think we would need more context to know if the yelling was inappropriate. Age of kid, pick up protocol at school, etc. If it’s a nice private school where the kid was never in any danger (and only the teacher was inconvenienced by watching the kid), yes - inappropriate. If the kid was basically left to his own devices and could have left school property, unsupervised, hell yeah this mom should let the nanny have it. Lots of bad stuff could’ve happened.

No, we don’t.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. Nanny for 16 years and have never had a family raise their voices, much less "really let me have it" and there have been plenty of situations that we would have (and did) handle differently.

Yes, I would have called the school. No, I would not have bothered a parent at work nor would any of my nanny families want to have bothered. I would have simply mentioned when you got home from work that I was stuck on the highway, called the school, was late for pick up and thanked the teacher profusely for accommodating. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

You're both wrong. But you're the boss, so you're more wrong. You owe her an apology.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today, my nanny was supposed to pick up my child at school at 2:30. He has another activity (karate) nearby the school at 2:45. The school is about a 30 minute drive from my house, but you have to take the highway. Today, there was an accident on the highway on the way to school, and nanny got caught in traffic. She looked at Waze (after she got caught in the traffic) and Waze said a 30 minute delay. So, at 2:15, she knew that she wasn't going to be at my son's school until 3:00 instead of 2:30, so she would have picked him up 30 minutes late, and they would have been 30 minutes late to his 50 minute karate class.

If you were the nanny in this situation, what would you have done?

My view is I'm mad she didn't call me at 2:15, when she knew what was going on. I get that she was stuck in traffic and it wasn't her fault (there isn't usually traffic on this highway), and I even get that my son is safe at his school while he would've waiting to have been picked up late, but she should've called me and told me what was going on. I could've easily asked on of my mom friends from the school to just pick up my son (and they probably could've even taken him to karate).

Instead, she did nothing. I get a call from the school at 2:35 asking who is picking up my son. I'm obviously worried by this call. I call the nanny and she tells me what happened. She's adamant that she did nothing wrong because it's not her fault that there's traffic. I say I agree the traffic part is not your fault, but if you're going to be 30 minutes late (even for a valid reason) in this day and age, the least you can do is call or text me to let me know. I was so mad. I yelled at her and really let her have it, and now I feel bad, but I also am really mad about what she did.

We've had similar incidents like this before, when things go wrong that are not her fault, but instead of keeping me in the loop or trying to solve the problem, she just does nothing and then the situation gets even worse. It's so frustrating.

I would have quit on the spot if my employer had ever yelled at me and if I had ever yelled at my employer., I would have been fired on the spot!! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR YOUR BEHAVIOR.