Au Pair Can't Go Home

[Anonymous]

I'm furious.

We just extended our au pair for year another 12 months. She's an amazing young woman that has been having some family issues and needs to go check on her mother and brother. At the end of the agency's "your extension is being processed" email it stated that au pairs can't go home during their extension time. While the DS-2019 is extended, the visa expires after year one so they would be denied re-entry. She can try to renew it while home but that could take weeks/months AND still could be denied.

So--I thought she can just go now while she is still in year 1. The agency proceeds to tell me they highly recommend au pairs do not travel the last six weeks of their visa due to the possibility of being denied re-entry.

I'm so upset and heartbroken for her.

[Anonymous]

This is a very clearly spelled out rule that is everywhere in agency information. You and she would’ve both seen this rule multiple times.
The 6-week thing isn’t a real rule, yes she could travel and 99% of the time it would be fine. She might run into an issue at immigration when she returns but that’s unlikely. Several of our au pairs (who weren’t extending) traveled at the end of their terms with us and did get pulled for questioning when they returned the the us but it was just an inconvenience for a couple of hours.

My poor ap couldn’t return home after her first year due to the pandemic. Her mother died 5 months into her second year and she couldn’t go home then either because she wouldn’t have been able to come back. It’s now been 3 years since she’s been home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very clearly spelled out rule that is everywhere in agency information. You and she would’ve both seen this rule multiple times.
The 6-week thing isn’t a real rule, yes she could travel and 99% of the time it would be fine. She might run into an issue at immigration when she returns but that’s unlikely. Several of our au pairs (who weren’t extending) traveled at the end of their terms with us and did get pulled for questioning when they returned the the us but it was just an inconvenience for a couple of hours.

My poor ap couldn’t return home after her first year due to the pandemic. Her mother died 5 months into her second year and she couldn’t go home then either because she wouldn’t have been able to come back. It’s now been 3 years since she’s been home.

Is the ap program that important to her that she won't go home for her mother's death just because she might not be able to come back? Sorry I can't understand. I would go home for my mom for critical situations like this regardless if I can come back or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very clearly spelled out rule that is everywhere in agency information. You and she would’ve both seen this rule multiple times.
The 6-week thing isn’t a real rule, yes she could travel and 99% of the time it would be fine. She might run into an issue at immigration when she returns but that’s unlikely. Several of our au pairs (who weren’t extending) traveled at the end of their terms with us and did get pulled for questioning when they returned the the us but it was just an inconvenience for a couple of hours.

My poor ap couldn’t return home after her first year due to the pandemic. Her mother died 5 months into her second year and she couldn’t go home then either because she wouldn’t have been able to come back. It’s now been 3 years since she’s been home.

Is the ap program that important to her that she won't go home for her mother's death just because she might not be able to come back? Sorry I can't understand. I would go home for my mom for critical situations like this regardless if I can come back or not.

DP. For some aps, the program is one, sometimes only, way for them to come to the U.S. and establish a foothold and eventually migrate here. My previous ap's goal was to stay in the U.S., and after she finished her time with us, she went to a school, hired an immigration attorney, and was waiting to change her visa to F-1, and eventually she'd apply for jobs that would sponsor her H-1 visa. For ppl like my previous ap, going to their home country would upend their life's dream. This is what many immigrant families deal with all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very clearly spelled out rule that is everywhere in agency information. You and she would’ve both seen this rule multiple times.
The 6-week thing isn’t a real rule, yes she could travel and 99% of the time it would be fine. She might run into an issue at immigration when she returns but that’s unlikely. Several of our au pairs (who weren’t extending) traveled at the end of their terms with us and did get pulled for questioning when they returned the the us but it was just an inconvenience for a couple of hours.

My poor ap couldn’t return home after her first year due to the pandemic. Her mother died 5 months into her second year and she couldn’t go home then either because she wouldn’t have been able to come back. It’s now been 3 years since she’s been home.

Is the ap program that important to her that she won't go home for her mother's death just because she might not be able to come back? Sorry I can't understand. I would go home for my mom for critical situations like this regardless if I can come back or not.

DP. For some aps, the program is one, sometimes only, way for them to come to the U.S. and establish a foothold and eventually migrate here. My previous ap's goal was to stay in the U.S., and after she finished her time with us, she went to a school, hired an immigration attorney, and was waiting to change her visa to F-1, and eventually she'd apply for jobs that would sponsor her H-1 visa. For ppl like my previous ap, going to their home country would upend their life's dream. This is what many immigrant families deal with all the time.

I understand the American dream but unfortunately that is not the AP program's spirit and purpose. I am very willingly to share a year with someone who is here truly for the experience but I don't want to be used as a bridge for them to come to the US with an initial and ultimate purpose of staying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very clearly spelled out rule that is everywhere in agency information. You and she would’ve both seen this rule multiple times.
The 6-week thing isn’t a real rule, yes she could travel and 99% of the time it would be fine. She might run into an issue at immigration when she returns but that’s unlikely. Several of our au pairs (who weren’t extending) traveled at the end of their terms with us and did get pulled for questioning when they returned the the us but it was just an inconvenience for a couple of hours.

My poor ap couldn’t return home after her first year due to the pandemic. Her mother died 5 months into her second year and she couldn’t go home then either because she wouldn’t have been able to come back. It’s now been 3 years since she’s been home.

Is the ap program that important to her that she won't go home for her mother's death just because she might not be able to come back? Sorry I can't understand. I would go home for my mom for critical situations like this regardless if I can come back or not.

DP. For some aps, the program is one, sometimes only, way for them to come to the U.S. and establish a foothold and eventually migrate here. My previous ap's goal was to stay in the U.S., and after she finished her time with us, she went to a school, hired an immigration attorney, and was waiting to change her visa to F-1, and eventually she'd apply for jobs that would sponsor her H-1 visa. For ppl like my previous ap, going to their home country would upend their life's dream. This is what many immigrant families deal with all the time.

I understand the American dream but unfortunately that is not the AP program's spirit and purpose. I am very willingly to share a year with someone who is here truly for the experience but I don't want to be used as a bridge for them to come to the US with an initial and ultimate purpose of staying.

That's your prerogative. Personally I don't care. What they're doing is all above board and legal, so I don't know why you care. Out of our 3 aps so far, only one has tried to stay, and her desire to stay had no bearing on how her performance was as an au pair. In fact, she was our best au pair and I'm rooting for her to get her work visa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very clearly spelled out rule that is everywhere in agency information. You and she would’ve both seen this rule multiple times.
The 6-week thing isn’t a real rule, yes she could travel and 99% of the time it would be fine. She might run into an issue at immigration when she returns but that’s unlikely. Several of our au pairs (who weren’t extending) traveled at the end of their terms with us and did get pulled for questioning when they returned the the us but it was just an inconvenience for a couple of hours.

My poor ap couldn’t return home after her first year due to the pandemic. Her mother died 5 months into her second year and she couldn’t go home then either because she wouldn’t have been able to come back. It’s now been 3 years since she’s been home.

Is the ap program that important to her that she won't go home for her mother's death just because she might not be able to come back? Sorry I can't understand. I would go home for my mom for critical situations like this regardless if I can come back or not.

DP. For some aps, the program is one, sometimes only, way for them to come to the U.S. and establish a foothold and eventually migrate here. My previous ap's goal was to stay in the U.S., and after she finished her time with us, she went to a school, hired an immigration attorney, and was waiting to change her visa to F-1, and eventually she'd apply for jobs that would sponsor her H-1 visa. For ppl like my previous ap, going to their home country would upend their life's dream. This is what many immigrant families deal with all the time.

I understand the American dream but unfortunately that is not the AP program's spirit and purpose. I am very willingly to share a year with someone who is here truly for the experience but I don't want to be used as a bridge for them to come to the US with an initial and ultimate purpose of staying.

That's your prerogative. Personally I don't care. What they're doing is all above board and legal, so I don't know why you care. Out of our 3 aps so far, only one has tried to stay, and her desire to stay had no bearing on how her performance was as an au pair. In fact, she was our best au pair and I'm rooting for her to get her work visa.

That AP went about it the right way, but yes, going to their home country or leaving the US at all after the first 9 months of their J-1 visa carries a distinct possibility of no re-entry, especially if they're from a country with high rates of not leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very clearly spelled out rule that is everywhere in agency information. You and she would’ve both seen this rule multiple times.
The 6-week thing isn’t a real rule, yes she could travel and 99% of the time it would be fine. She might run into an issue at immigration when she returns but that’s unlikely. Several of our au pairs (who weren’t extending) traveled at the end of their terms with us and did get pulled for questioning when they returned the the us but it was just an inconvenience for a couple of hours.

My poor ap couldn’t return home after her first year due to the pandemic. Her mother died 5 months into her second year and she couldn’t go home then either because she wouldn’t have been able to come back. It’s now been 3 years since she’s been home.

Is the ap program that important to her that she won't go home for her mother's death just because she might not be able to come back? Sorry I can't understand. I would go home for my mom for critical situations like this regardless if I can come back or not.

DP. For some aps, the program is one, sometimes only, way for them to come to the U.S. and establish a foothold and eventually migrate here. My previous ap's goal was to stay in the U.S., and after she finished her time with us, she went to a school, hired an immigration attorney, and was waiting to change her visa to F-1, and eventually she'd apply for jobs that would sponsor her H-1 visa. For ppl like my previous ap, going to their home country would upend their life's dream. This is what many immigrant families deal with all the time.

I understand the American dream but unfortunately that is not the AP program's spirit and purpose. I am very willingly to share a year with someone who is here truly for the experience but I don't want to be used as a bridge for them to come to the US with an initial and ultimate purpose of staying.

That's your prerogative. Personally I don't care. What they're doing is all above board and legal, so I don't know why you care. Out of our 3 aps so far, only one has tried to stay, and her desire to stay had no bearing on how her performance was as an au pair. In fact, she was our best au pair and I'm rooting for her to get her work visa.

I’ve been a host mom for 6 1/2 years and I completely agree. So far, 2/3 of our AP’s have tried to stay, through the education visa (I’m not sure what our current AP will do). These are fantastic young women, and deserve an opportunity for a great life. If they want to stay past their 2nd year with us, we can’t have them continue to stay with us (this is a sad reality because we need someone to work), but my husband and I do whatever we can to support them on their journey.