Coparenting: Nanny and Parent edition

[Anonymous]

My employer respects me. They value what I do. They show their appreciation in a multitude of ways. Heck, they’re the one who said they’re so glad I’m coparenting with them.

I’m just tired of being the bad guy for both child and adult.

I enforce the rules: clean up your mess, eat your vegetables, do one chore to help the household and not just yourself, exercise while playing (full body playing, not just sitting on your butt to play with Lego), do your homework, take care of your folded clean clothes, bedtime, sit down to eat the meal, etc. Meanwhile, when my employer is home, the child naturally keeps trying to go play with the parent, because the parent doesn’t do any of that (but does want it done by the child, so it’s my job to make sure it happens).

Just a vent. I love the family, and the child is becoming more responsible, independent and confident. I just wish I wasn’t dealing with two children instead of one.

[Anonymous]

I accept it all as a nanny (aside from the Lego thing - let the kid play!). I accept and tell my charges that I’m stricter than mom and dad and that’s just the way it is. It makes me laugh to myself when one of them is eating standing up with a parent and when I walk in they quickly sit down!

Kids are going to have strict teachers and need to accept that different places/people have different rules.

I’m proud of my charges when I hear a spontaneous “thank you” or “excuse me”. I love how they address everyone by name and never whine. I love what advanced, kind and collaborative little kids they are. And that’s all from me!

[Anonymous]

I think it’s par for the course if you’re a good nanny. I’m sure the kids behave better with you than their parent. And you’re giving your charges structure and consistency which is imperative for their mental health and security.

I had one adorable charge who used to scream when his mother changed his clothes but was fine and happy when I did it. His mom told me that she asked him why he never does this with nanny and he said, “because nanny means it”.

[Anonymous]

I understand what both of you are saying. My frustration is that I literally have to go get the child from the parent, walk them over to what needs to be done, retrieve them when they run away in the middle, rinse and repeat. Child is upper elementary and special needs, which just makes it more frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand what both of you are saying. My frustration is that I literally have to go get the child from the parent, walk them over to what needs to be done, retrieve them when they run away in the middle, rinse and repeat. Child is upper elementary and special needs, which just makes it more frustrating.

It’s almost like some parents make special needs even worse than it needs to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand what both of you are saying. My frustration is that I literally have to go get the child from the parent, walk them over to what needs to be done, retrieve them when they run away in the middle, rinse and repeat. Child is upper elementary and special needs, which just makes it more frustrating.

It’s almost like some parents make special needs even worse than it needs to be.

Yes, this! I understand that the parent wants the child to value time with them. But honestly? It seems more like a friendship than parent-child at times.