Nanny or daycare?

[Anonymous]

I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

[Anonymous]

You find the best nanny you can afford, and then you compare that to the best daycare.
Personally, I’d never want my baby or toddler to be in a daycare environment. For a three year old, I’d consider it if the nanny had to move, or whatever.
Half day programs are best for young children.

[Anonymous]

With a nanny you get more one on one care. You sound lovely haha go with the daycare route!

[Anonymous]

Go with daycare, OP.

We have a wonderful nanny who has been with us since my oldest was two months old (five years ago) She’s taught my kids so much and they get home cooked hot lunch everyday and get to nap in their own cribs. I have always worked from home so I’ve seen nanny’s level of engagement and often hear the laughter. Our nanny is educated and mature - never on her phone. She has nanny friends like her too. But she and her friends are expensive. Our nanny is up to $35 an hour now. She’s worth it; I love her dearly; and couldn’t imagine this motherhood journey without her.

But you’re the perfect daycare mom. Seriously. Find a good daycare with cameras and a live feed.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you’re a daycare mom. Go with daycare.

[Anonymous]

I worked in three different highly respected daycare centers in both undergraduate and graduate school and knew it was never going to work for me and my kids. Even a nanny on the phone has more attention to give a child than a daycare worker with four toddlers to look after. And no matter what they tell you, daycare teachers do not love your child but even a mediocre nanny does. Plus, as stated, your toddler is home sleeping in his/her bed.

I work from home and always have. Our nanny is foreign born and so loving to my children. She does socialize with other Spanish speaking nannies but that’s been a benefit to my kids. We truly love her.

But you should try daycare if you don’t believe me. I hope your toddler is the problem kid and the screamer because they’re the only ones who get paid attention to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

Maybe they were all undercover like you, OP, and were actually moms!!!!

And you have a toddler who can’t say “mama” yet? I’d get an evaluation before deciding on nanny or daycare, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

Maybe they were all undercover like you, OP, and were actually moms!!!!

And you have a toddler who can’t say “mama” yet? I’d get an evaluation before deciding on nanny or daycare, OP!

[Anonymous]

Seriously, while you were pretending to be a nanny to fool the other nannies your toddler never said “mommy” or “mama” once?

You’re a troll, aren’t you?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Weirdly, my kid is going through a phase where she calls me by my first name. We think she's copying her dad. And no, that doesn't bother me - she'll either grow out of it or decide she wants to call me mama.

We did do daycare for the older one - and we loved it. My daughter seemed to like it better too. And we had a nanny before that, and we liked it fine, but it was way more work for me - the house was never as clean as when I left it, and my kid didn't progress nearly as quickly as she did when we switched to daycare.

Anyways, we are looking at the $35/hour nannies now that my extremely lengthy maternity leave is ending, but it seems the higher in price we go, the more the nannies have questions about perks, days off, etc. - and they aren't particularly impressive when I ask about activities they plan on doing, meal prep, etc.

I think I might just be a daycare mom, and I'm good with that. If I'm paying $35/hour, I expect a college-educated, completely fluent in English, good interviewer, and I'm not seeing that. I certainly wouldn't want any of the dolts above in my home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Weirdly, my kid is going through a phase where she calls me by my first name. We think she's copying her dad. And no, that doesn't bother me - she'll either grow out of it or decide she wants to call me mama.

We did do daycare for the older one - and we loved it. My daughter seemed to like it better too. And we had a nanny before that, and we liked it fine, but it was way more work for me - the house was never as clean as when I left it, and my kid didn't progress nearly as quickly as she did when we switched to daycare.

Anyways, we are looking at the $35/hour nannies now that my extremely lengthy maternity leave is ending, but it seems the higher in price we go, the more the nannies have questions about perks, days off, etc. - and they aren't particularly impressive when I ask about activities they plan on doing, meal prep, etc.

I think I might just be a daycare mom, and I'm good with that. If I'm paying $35/hour, I expect a college-educated, completely fluent in English, good interviewer, and I'm not seeing that. I certainly wouldn't want any of the dolts above in my home.

You are a daycare mom.

(And a terrible liar). Good night, tubby troll.

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness, people on this board are viscous! How do they sleep at night being so nasty and judgmental.

By all means, I should have my kids with a nanny, but truthfully I have zero time or energy to deal with that drama (sick days, sick husbands, random demands, etc.) - instead I pay for super fancy daycare. I don't care if they love my kid like their own, that's not their job - their job is to keep them safe, healthy, fed and napped. I pay for a fancy place that gives them organic balanced meals, has a curriculum of activities and learning, and other kids that come from nice (and diverse) families to socialize with. It's lovely and I have ZERO responsibilities. I manage people for my job, I don't need to manage someone at my home.

IF you find a nanny who is worth it, it's gold. BUT those are so hard to come by and you might spend a year cycling through before getting the gemstone the others say they have. My job doesn't allow me (nor does my husband's) to spend a year waiting/hoping/trying for that.

[Anonymous]

Also, my daycare kids don't think they're the center of the universe, they can travel and sleep anywhere, and know that their meal is the meal - nobody is their personal short-order cook, if you don't want to eat that's fine but that's what the meal is. My kids aren't scared of people or other kids, they're not bored of their toys at home, and come home every week with new words and things to tell me about. They have Spanish class multiple days a week, take field trips, walks, a playground visit daily.

Pick a good daycare and your kids will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, my daycare kids don't think they're the center of the universe, they can travel and sleep anywhere, and know that their meal is the meal - nobody is their personal short-order cook, if you don't want to eat that's fine but that's what the meal is. My kids aren't scared of people or other kids, they're not bored of their toys at home, and come home every week with new words and things to tell me about. They have Spanish class multiple days a week, take field trips, walks, a playground visit daily.

Pick a good daycare and your kids will be fine.

OP is clearly a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, my daycare kids don't think they're the center of the universe, they can travel and sleep anywhere, and know that their meal is the meal - nobody is their personal short-order cook, if you don't want to eat that's fine but that's what the meal is. My kids aren't scared of people or other kids, they're not bored of their toys at home, and come home every week with new words and things to tell me about. They have Spanish class multiple days a week, take field trips, walks, a playground visit daily.

Pick a good daycare and your kids will be fine.

OP is clearly a troll.

Nope, just someone who agrees with the prior PP.