Nanny or daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, my daycare kids don't think they're the center of the universe, they can travel and sleep anywhere, and know that their meal is the meal - nobody is their personal short-order cook, if you don't want to eat that's fine but that's what the meal is. My kids aren't scared of people or other kids, they're not bored of their toys at home, and come home every week with new words and things to tell me about. They have Spanish class multiple days a week, take field trips, walks, a playground visit daily.

Pick a good daycare and your kids will be fine.

My kids are like that too and have a good nanny. A good nanny can do everything even a fancy daycare can do without the children being in group care. My feeling is they’re going to be in classrooms for the next 17 years at least - one-on-one learning is more valuable when they’re little. But to each their own. I don’t manage people for a living and my nanny is no drama.


That said, OP is a total troll (her kid calls her by her first name when she goes undercover with the park nannies?!!) so my response is only to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, my daycare kids don't think they're the center of the universe, they can travel and sleep anywhere, and know that their meal is the meal - nobody is their personal short-order cook, if you don't want to eat that's fine but that's what the meal is. My kids aren't scared of people or other kids, they're not bored of their toys at home, and come home every week with new words and things to tell me about. They have Spanish class multiple days a week, take field trips, walks, a playground visit daily.

Pick a good daycare and your kids will be fine.

My kids are like that too and have a good nanny. A good nanny can do everything even a fancy daycare can do without the children being in group care. My feeling is they’re going to be in classrooms for the next 17 years at least - one-on-one learning is more valuable when they’re little. But to each their own. I don’t manage people for a living and my nanny is no drama.


That said, OP is a total troll (her kid calls her by her first name when she goes undercover with the park nannies?!!) so my response is only to you.

Lol OK, I'm a troll. Feel better?

But I wasn't going undercover, I just didn't disabuse anyone of the idea that I was a nanny, and my kid calls me by my first name at home too. It's a phase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, my daycare kids don't think they're the center of the universe, they can travel and sleep anywhere, and know that their meal is the meal - nobody is their personal short-order cook, if you don't want to eat that's fine but that's what the meal is. My kids aren't scared of people or other kids, they're not bored of their toys at home, and come home every week with new words and things to tell me about. They have Spanish class multiple days a week, take field trips, walks, a playground visit daily.

Pick a good daycare and your kids will be fine.

My kids are like that too and have a good nanny. A good nanny can do everything even a fancy daycare can do without the children being in group care. My feeling is they’re going to be in classrooms for the next 17 years at least - one-on-one learning is more valuable when they’re little. But to each their own. I don’t manage people for a living and my nanny is no drama.


That said, OP is a total troll (her kid calls her by her first name when she goes undercover with the park nannies?!!) so my response is only to you.

Lol OK, I'm a troll. Feel better?

But I wasn't going undercover, I just didn't disabuse anyone of the idea that I was a nanny, and my kid calls me by my first name at home too. It's a phase.

Go away, OP. I recognize you and you are definitely a troll. You never hired a nanny and you do not have young kids. Stop or I will report you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, my daycare kids don't think they're the center of the universe, they can travel and sleep anywhere, and know that their meal is the meal - nobody is their personal short-order cook, if you don't want to eat that's fine but that's what the meal is. My kids aren't scared of people or other kids, they're not bored of their toys at home, and come home every week with new words and things to tell me about. They have Spanish class multiple days a week, take field trips, walks, a playground visit daily.

Pick a good daycare and your kids will be fine.

My kids are like that too and have a good nanny. A good nanny can do everything even a fancy daycare can do without the children being in group care. My feeling is they’re going to be in classrooms for the next 17 years at least - one-on-one learning is more valuable when they’re little. But to each their own. I don’t manage people for a living and my nanny is no drama.


That said, OP is a total troll (her kid calls her by her first name when she goes undercover with the park nannies?!!) so my response is only to you.

Lol OK, I'm a troll. Feel better?

But I wasn't going undercover, I just didn't disabuse anyone of the idea that I was a nanny, and my kid calls me by my first name at home too. It's a phase.

Go away, OP. I recognize you and you are definitely a troll. You never hired a nanny and you do not have young kids. Stop or I will report you.

You recognize me? You'll report me? Please, go ahead and do so - I don't think that's the threat you think it is.

[Anonymous]

This mom is So crazy. Omg... I can't stop laughing of her stupid post LOL. Asking for other's advice and at the same time responding herself what she thinks about a day care and about a nanny. Who is going believe you are open and willing to pay the highest rate $35. P-H? LOL and that you were pretending to be also a nanny mingle with them and trying to get information from them? And nobody didn't have any clue you were the real mom? LOL. Let's just let her think everything she said it's true LOL.

[Anonymous]

It’s a personal preference.

I don’t like daycare settings for under 4, so we went the nanny route. She is wonderful, loving and very attentive to my children. I always recommend 1 on 1 care if you can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

There's also lazy moms at the park. Her child is hitting other siblings and she's on her phone.

There's bad both sides. Mom and Dads too...

Nanny: More individualized attention to the child. Is better for kids who needs more attention. Nannies are like preschool teachers. Kids are always learning all the time, good manners, use nice words, eat healthy. Nannies provides that and take the kids to socialize, parties, birthdays,etc at the park.

What I love from the nanny groups they protect any child from harm even if it's not their charge. Always protect a child even if it's not yours.



Family childcare: It's nice too. The problem is FCC and centers especially
tends to not have enough staff. I worked there. All centers are the same.
Careful with some providers, I met one that was feeding frozen meat with mold. I trash it to the trash. Me and the other assistant didn't see it was right. We didn't care the boss was upset. She has to learn to not give out of date food to children.

Early child caregivers takes good care of children. They have patience and provides good discipline to children. Nannies, teachers and even assistants do a lot of work. Assistants acts like teachers too. Every time a caregiver is talking to the kid or the child is freely playing, exploring is learning. They are always learning.

Always treat good to your good nannies, teachers, assistants. Give gifts to the assistants too, they do the same as a teacher. Takes care of the childdren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, you’re a daycare mom. Go with daycare.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

There is so much hate on here , if someone is upset just don’t reply !
I agree with other moms who posted on here . IF you can find a good nanny it is awesome . The convenience of no pick up and drop off and they can teach your kid a lot . But yes the good ones are expensive and it can take time and trials to find a good one .

I had my older daughter in a “fancy” daycare / school setting and I liked it way better . No nanny drama , no responsibility . They were catered warm meals and learned a lot .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is so much hate on here , if someone is upset just don’t reply !
I agree with other moms who posted on here . IF you can find a good nanny it is awesome . The convenience of no pick up and drop off and they can teach your kid a lot . But yes the good ones are expensive and it can take time and trials to find a good one .

I had my older daughter in a “fancy” daycare / school setting and I liked it way better . No nanny drama , no responsibility . They were catered warm meals and learned a lot .

Where are you seeing the hate? Parents are responding honestly even though OP is a total troll. That’s not hate - that’s honesty.

There’s nothing that even the best, most expensive daycare can offer that’s better than a good nanny but there’s lots a nanny can offer that even a great daycare can’t. That’s how I made my decision. That and the illnesses the kids get at daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is so much hate on here , if someone is upset just don’t reply !
I agree with other moms who posted on here . IF you can find a good nanny it is awesome . The convenience of no pick up and drop off and they can teach your kid a lot . But yes the good ones are expensive and it can take time and trials to find a good one .

I had my older daughter in a “fancy” daycare / school setting and I liked it way better . No nanny drama , no responsibility . They were catered warm meals and learned a lot .

OP here. Yea, these responses are reinforcing my decision to find a daycare. To me a good nanny is willing to be deferential to my preferences, not the other way around. That’s not to say I’d want to micromanage (which is why I prefer a full service daycare) but it’s much harder to find a good nanny. I’ll keep interviewing at the $35 rate but at that point my standards are extremely high. Our favorite babysitter is heading to a top 10 law school - she’s been miles ahead of any professional caretaker I’ve met despite way less experience. We’ve found her a joy to have in our home as well, so unfortunately I think we just mesh better with people who wouldn’t want to nanny long-term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

Nanny hands down. The bolded is just false. I WFH. I have a desk setup in my bedroom. I have the kids' schedule setup so that I don't see the kids between 9am and 5pm (unless I want to). The nanny takes the kids to the park in the morning, I come down for a morning snack, and am back at my desk well before they get home. They come home and eat lunch and then all go play in my son's room (the biggest) at 1pm (per my request) and that's when I come down and eat my lunch. Then I'm back at my desk until 5. Them being there is not an issue at all. No pick up and no drop off is HUGE. Plus, I always come downstairs at 5pm to a cleaner house than I left. Nanny keeps the floors swept in the eating area, toys are put away (even if some were out in the morning). It's not like she's dusting or anything, but things are neat and tidy. I'm not washing bottles and packing lunch in the morning, she handles all that. She would even do the kids' laundry if I wanted, but I'm picky about laundry so I do it myself.

Plus you gotta factor in dramatically less illness, the fact that the nanny will come if the kids have colds, AND the fact that they can nap in their own beds on a schedule you set. The latter is actually the majority of the reason we got a nanny in the first place. My first kid WOULD NOT have slept at daycare. He is SUCH a finicky sleeper. Both my kids have fantastic sleep hygiene and take great naps, in their nice dark rooms, with their sound machines. Huge for them.

Yes, I know that at the park, the kids are playing and I'm sure the nannies are supervising, while chatting and playing on their phones. So what? The kids are safe and happy, and the nanny is WONDERFUL with the kids the rest of the day - morning, pre nap, after nap, she's engaging, interactive, on the floor playing with them. And I KNOW it because I can hear them. Some days, I keep my noise machine on so I can't, some days I keep it off, I always stop to listen when I go to the bathroom or get water, and I have literally never not heard obvious sounds of interaction/playing. I also walk very softly, and I have literally never walked into a room and seen the nanny on her phone. Never in two years. She can have her chiller time at the park. I can't be "on" with the kids for 8 straight hours either! Now, we do have an awesome nanny. But I would urge you not to draw too many conclusions based on what you see at the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fence, really, because of the posts by nannies here who seem so entitled. I have unlimited funds for childcare but what I really need is someone to make my life easier, not harder. While there's a perk of no drop-off and pick-up, someone is also in my house all day so that totally offsets that benefit.

Are there any WFH parents who have found their nannies to be worth it (assuming we are paying on the higher end of DC rates)? I'm suspecting that most WOH parents have no clue what's going on anyways so not at all interested in those opinions. I ask because I've had a few weeks off while my older toddler's school is out before summer session and it's been quite the eye-opener seeing the level of interaction and care provided by nannies. I'm not deluding myself that daycare is better but at least many of them don't allow phone usage, and there are more people around at least.

I look like my toddler's nanny, so before anyone gets upset about how I'd know who the nannies are, it's because several approached me to chat and I pretended to be a nanny.

Nanny hands down. The bolded is just false. I WFH. I have a desk setup in my bedroom. I have the kids' schedule setup so that I don't see the kids between 9am and 5pm (unless I want to). The nanny takes the kids to the park in the morning, I come down for a morning snack, and am back at my desk well before they get home. They come home and eat lunch and then all go play in my son's room (the biggest) at 1pm (per my request) and that's when I come down and eat my lunch. Then I'm back at my desk until 5. Them being there is not an issue at all. No pick up and no drop off is HUGE. Plus, I always come downstairs at 5pm to a cleaner house than I left. Nanny keeps the floors swept in the eating area, toys are put away (even if some were out in the morning). It's not like she's dusting or anything, but things are neat and tidy. I'm not washing bottles and packing lunch in the morning, she handles all that. She would even do the kids' laundry if I wanted, but I'm picky about laundry so I do it myself.

Plus you gotta factor in dramatically less illness, the fact that the nanny will come if the kids have colds, AND the fact that they can nap in their own beds on a schedule you set. The latter is actually the majority of the reason we got a nanny in the first place. My first kid WOULD NOT have slept at daycare. He is SUCH a finicky sleeper. Both my kids have fantastic sleep hygiene and take great naps, in their nice dark rooms, with their sound machines. Huge for them.

Yes, I know that at the park, the kids are playing and I'm sure the nannies are supervising, while chatting and playing on their phones. So what? The kids are safe and happy, and the nanny is WONDERFUL with the kids the rest of the day - morning, pre nap, after nap, she's engaging, interactive, on the floor playing with them. And I KNOW it because I can hear them. Some days, I keep my noise machine on so I can't, some days I keep it off, I always stop to listen when I go to the bathroom or get water, and I have literally never not heard obvious sounds of interaction/playing. I also walk very softly, and I have literally never walked into a room and seen the nanny on her phone. Never in two years. She can have her chiller time at the park. I can't be "on" with the kids for 8 straight hours either! Now, we do have an awesome nanny. But I would urge you not to draw too many conclusions based on what you see at the park.

Thank you! This is so helpful. I think as we continue interviewing we just need to set expectations that the nanny works when the kids are sick (to a reasonable degree) and limits phone use in the house. We liked our nanny when we had one but she would call off about 7 days a month expecting to be paid because our kid got a cold and apparently passed it on, never mind that we were quarantining due to early pandemic and weren’t sick ourselves. All of what you described sounds perfect and well worth the money.

Are you paying $35/hour or is that excessive?

[Anonymous]

Please do daycare! I doubt you’re paying 35$ per hour and even if you were I’d ask for 50$ Per hour as you seem like a PITA to work with, micromanaging, never satisfied and I’m sure would want to squeeze every penny even during nap time you’d want something done so nanny’s not sitting. Please do the nanny community and use daycare. Fyi don’t be a nuisance to the teachers there they will i
Not want to be bothered with your child and he/she will be last for everything