Need advice with boundaries

[Anonymous]

House manager, housekeeper and eventually a nanny. I'm not good at keeping a boundary with household help. I get too close to them and my DH says I should maintain a lot of space.Does anyone else have trouble with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:House manager, housekeeper and eventually a nanny. I'm not good at keeping a boundary with household help. I get too close to them and my DH says I should maintain a lot of space.Does anyone else have trouble with this?

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Your should explain a little more clear the details of your question. The point about your situation and issue. So people can help you with good advice.

[Anonymous]

My husband says that I am too "friendly".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband says that I am too "friendly".

I've had the same issue. There are pros, in that your nanny/housekeeper/whatever feels comfortable, is honest and up front with you, and is unlikely to jump ship. However, the cons are that your employee feels like you are her friend more so than employer, and there are a lot of inappropriate requests/slacking off.

It is a really tough balance, especially as an empathetic person who likes other people. At the end of the day, I've genuinely liked the people I've hired as people, so it's kind of hard for me to pull off the boss role. Your husband can play bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I had an employer once who always talked about boundaries but didn’t have any! She shared everything with me from family secrets to her sex life with her husband to wanting her MIL to die. I shared basically nothing.

The only boundary you need is keeping your private life private. Boundaries have nothing to do with affection. Friendliness, or kindness. Just remember the woman you employ as a nanny is your child’s nanny - not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I had an employer once who always talked about boundaries but didn’t have any! She shared everything with me from family secrets to her sex life with her husband to wanting her MIL to die. I shared basically nothing.

The only boundary you need is keeping your private life private. Boundaries have nothing to do with affection. Friendliness, or kindness. Just remember the woman you employ as a nanny is your child’s nanny - not yours.

This. Only this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I had an employer once who always talked about boundaries but didn’t have any! She shared everything with me from family secrets to her sex life with her husband to wanting her MIL to die. I shared basically nothing.

The only boundary you need is keeping your private life private. Boundaries have nothing to do with affection. Friendliness, or kindness. Just remember the woman you employ as a nanny is your child’s nanny - not yours.

This. Only this.

+2. And to the first PP, what a creepy woman!!

[Anonymous]

No. We love our nanny dearly and consider her a part of our family but I would never pry into her life nor share intimate details of my life. And our nanny behaves like a professional at all times (no drama) which keeps me doing the same.

I agree with the above that loving an employee and being warm and caring is not the issue. The issue is over involvement.