First Time Host Family

[Anonymous]

We are considering welcoming an au pair into our home in January. We have been searching for an au pair with Au Pair in America and found someone we like. We are interested in the au pair program because we would love to find a young and energetic caregiver to play with our toddler daughter during the day and we've been very impressed by the au pairs we've met around the neighborhood. We see the opportunity to teach our daughter Spanish an added bonus. We think this could be a great experience of our family and our au pair but we are nervous about starting especially since the program fee is steep and I assume non-refundable. Please share any experiences or advice!

[Anonymous]

I think it's good that there're many au pairs in your neighborhood already. Talk to your neighbors and find out their experience with their agencies, etc.

It works for us as our kids are early elementary and preschool aged (personally I would hesitate to use the program for infants). The ap is like a big sister who does crafts and plays with the kids. A big adjustment is having a roommate 24/7. When you're screening, it's as important to screen for childcare backgrounds as it is for personal living styles.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your response! A few families have recommended Au Pair in America to me. Our AP would be taking care of one toddler who will start nursery school in September. We have a good space for the AP but are nervous about having someone living with us. What were some questions you asked to screen for personal living styles?

[Anonymous]

So you want someone to start this January and nine months after that, your kid will start preschool? Meaning you want the au pair to work full time each day? You'd better make sure you lay out EXACTLY how many hours you expect from them, because this sounds like a nanny job.

Au pairs are more for the hour before school, and a few hours after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you want someone to start this January and nine months after that, your kid will start preschool? Meaning you want the au pair to work full time each day? You'd better make sure you lay out EXACTLY how many hours you expect from them, because this sounds like a nanny job.

Au pairs are more for the hour before school, and a few hours after school.

Not true.

Some families have the ap work the full 45 hours a week. Others have split schedule. I've actually had potential aps tell me that they do not like to work split schedule--they want to be done with work at 5 and keep their evenings free for social purposes. My first ap had a split schedule and only worked 20 hours a week. She was unhappy b/c most of her ap friends were working during the day and she couldn't hang out with them, and she had to work some evening hours (even though we always told her to join her friends if they have something specific planned). My subsequent aps have worked the full 40 hour week and have been fine with it.

[Anonymous]

I appreciate any feedback because we are new to this and we were considering the traditional nanny route but we've met so many nice au pairs, and would love the opportunity to speak more Spanish at home, so we are exploring this option and met a really great AP.

Our proposed schedule is M-F 9-5 until September. Our daughter still naps for 2-3 hours a day, and we are still working from home, so she would likely get a break each day. In the summer time we hope to get our daughter enrolled in a few summer camps so I expect a lighter schedule then too.

[Anonymous]

OP I would go with the worst case scenario for hours. We have always had our AP's expect to work the full 45 hours and then they are pleasantly surprised if the schedule is lighter. Many of our AP's and their friends worked the full 45 hours per week and were fine with it. Factors that increased their comfort included additional vacation days when possible, few weekend and evening shifts (or plenty of notice when one is needed). Bonuses for weekends, extra hours are also always welcome.

There are many AP's out there.. so trust your gut when screening. Do not try to sell yourself to the AP's. Present the good and bad and ask specific questions about who they have lived with in the past and whether they have lived away from home.

We have found that AP's who grew up with younger siblings, cousins, etc at home are generally the easiest going. The one AP we had that lived on her own (I thought the independence would be good) was a bit particular and struggled with being a good roommate.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, this is very helpful advice. I am glad to hear that it is common for an AP to have a 40 hour a week schedule. How many APs would you typically interview before matching? We had a really good connection with one of our first interviews and I don't want to let her go.

[Anonymous]

For our first AP, we interviewed about 5-6. for our second, we interviewed just one, who's about to be sent back to her country as her 2 week rematch period was about to expire. We liked her and had a good 1.5 years. Our current one was also the only one we interviewed. She's about a perfect fit for us but was under an extremely tight deadline to match due to her age (about to age out of the program). Very happy with her so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you, this is very helpful advice. I am glad to hear that it is common for an AP to have a 40 hour a week schedule. How many APs would you typically interview before matching? We had a really good connection with one of our first interviews and I don't want to let her go.

If you think she is a good fit I would spend more time interviewing her and then move quickly.. I have found many times the first choice may turn you down for another offer (they all want to go to California - don't take it personally). I would also make her sit with the kid(s) on an interview and see if she gushes over them and seems to know how to interact with kids. If not - red flag. But again trust your instincts.. no need to interview hundreds of au pairs.. we had the best success with our first choices.

[Anonymous]

Thank you! I'm glad to hear that. So funny about California!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you! I'm glad to hear that. So funny about California!

Yeah, not so funny when your AP quits midyear because they want to experience California. It's only, "funny, hahaha" type of funny then.