Nanny and previous family

[Anonymous]

Nanny lost a previous MB to an illness. She joined us a few months later.
Problem is, I wonder if she was ready. She doesn't seem to like my husband and I and although she is wonderful with the kids, she does talk about the MB with the children and how she misses her. I can't help thinking this is a bit inappropriate. Should I speak with her and tell her I would rather she didn't discuss in front of my kids?

[Anonymous]

I agree it is not appropriate for her to discuss her previous MomBoss’s passing around your children.

I think she needs some time off to properly grieve - she may have just jumped back into working as she may not be able to afford to be unemployed right now.

However that does not give her the right to dislike you + your husband for no reason.

If things feel “off” w/her > then I wouldn’t blame you if you let her go & find a better Nanny, one more suitable for your family.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Yes, tell her it's not appropriate to talk to your children about the death of her former employer and you'd like her to stop doing that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can certainly ask the nanny not to talk about death in front of your children.

But your nanny really doesn’t need to like you or DH. Her job is with the children and you say they love her. She was clearly very close to her former employer and probably will never be with you as a way of self-protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you can certainly ask the nanny not to talk about death in front of your children.

But your nanny really doesn’t need to like you or DH. Her job is with the children and you say they love her. She was clearly very close to her former employer and probably will never be with you as a way of self-protection.

+1. Your nanny doesn’t need to like you to be a good nanny. Her job is based on how she is with your children. You can absolutely ask her not to discuss anything you choose with your children, however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you can certainly ask the nanny not to talk about death in front of your children.

But your nanny really doesn’t need to like you or DH. Her job is with the children and you say they love her. She was clearly very close to her former employer and probably will never be with you as a way of self-protection.

+2

It’s appropriate to tell her you’d prefer she not mention her previous MBs death to your children.

But she doesn’t need to like either of you to be a good nanny as long as she’s professional and respectful. It’s also not appropriate for you to make the choice whether or not she’s ready to continue working. You do realize not everyone has the financial luxury to take even weeks off work after a loss? Right?

[Anonymous]

Does she mention goid times with the MB or talk about the death? Big difference.

In our family we keep the memories of those gone alive. She is with your children all day so that's her audience. She's grieving.

I don't know if she "likes" you and you don't either. But as pp have stated it doesn't matter.

Have compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny lost a previous MB to an illness. She joined us a few months later.
Problem is, I wonder if she was ready. She doesn't seem to like my husband and I and although she is wonderful with the kids, she does talk about the MB with the children and how she misses her. I can't help thinking this is a bit inappropriate. Should I speak with her and tell her I would rather she didn't discuss in front of my kids?

It’s not the least bit inappropriate to talk to children about someone you love and miss. In fact, it’s a good thing. A nanny talking about the death of someone is inappropriate but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.

And I heartily echo the previous posters who told you that your children’s nanny doesn’t need to like you! A nanny’s job is not to take care of the mother.