Toddler and baby

[Anonymous]

Hello,

We’re expecting our second baby soon and have 2.5 year old active toddler. I’m wondering whether to ask our current Nanny to watch both the newborn and toddler or have the toddler start attending a part time preschool/Montessori soon? When is a good age to send our toddler to preschool? Is there a real need before kindergarten? We are very happy with our nanny so I’m wondering if it’s ok to have her watch both baby and toddler. If so, how does the nanny manage bath? My toddler goes to the park every day so is it ok for the baby to tag along? Or is it better to have him be at preschool for half the day so she can focus on the baby? In terms of affordability, do most people just have the nanny watch both? It will be quite expensive to have a nanny and also pay for preschool. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

It’s far better for your children to have your older child start preschool. Your older child will be stimulated and your baby will get the one-on-one attention he/she needs. A good nanny can, of course, take care of both kids but it’s not in the kids best interest every day.

[Anonymous]

The first step is talking to your nanny to find out if she’s interested in caring for both children simultaneously. If you have a nanny who stimulates your child daily (e.g. arts and crafts, introduction to literacy - spelling name, recognizing letters, counting, shapes, building self help skills, etc.) and sh’s confident she’ll be able to continue, then it may be okay to have her care for both, but if you think your toddler isn’t being stimulated enough, then preschool is probably better for the child. However, both will cost you, and depending on where you live and your nanny’s background, it’s typically a $2-4 increase for the new baby.

[Anonymous]

Nanny can, if interested, totally watch both. She can take baby to the park and do crafts and otherwise engage both baby and toddler. It is harder but more than doable. She will want to get baby on a predictable nap routine and try to get baby to nap when toddler does. But she can and should be fine.

I don't think you ever "need" preschool if nanny is doing academic play and also teaching following directions and sharing and kid does a few other things (obviously once Covid safe) like gymnastics or library story time.

But, many people do a half day program at 3 or 4. One year is enough to practice those skills. And baby will lose something in the process of nanny having to drop off and pick up sibling so there is that too. I would keep nanny another year and then reevaluate

[Anonymous]

We have a 2 month old and a toddler who will be 3 in June. Our toddler has been in a nanny share since she was born. Right now I'm keeping the baby home with me as I'm only working from home part time. In August, baby will transition into the share and we signed our 3yo up for 4 day preschool. She is extremely ready.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny doing it right now with a 2.5 year old and infant. It’s impossible to keep the same level of involvement with my toddler charge that I had when it was just the two of us but that’s not all bad. My older charge has gotten much better at solitary-play and waiting. I don’t have as much one-on-one time with the baby as I did with the older child at that age and I feel bad about that. Many times the baby has to be content with just watching the older child and me play or read or talk. I think it will get better when the baby is on a longer nap schedule.

Our particular challenge is no backyard or outdoor space especially during covid. Before the baby, my charge and I used to run in a public green park and play. That’s absolutely been limited because I can’t chase the toddler with an infant in a public space and the baby is EBF and won’t take a bottle so I have to keep her near her mother.

My older charge will be starting preschool in September which will be great for both children.

My advice as a former preschool teacher is to enroll your older child in preschool. There are benefits beyond giving more individual attention to each child.

[Anonymous]

Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!

We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.

Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!

We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.

Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.

Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.

[Anonymous]

We’ve enrolled our 2.5 year old in preschool starting in August because of the new baby. I don’t want the baby “sleeping on the go” and love how engaged our nanny is with both kids individually. Right now we’re both working from home so we can help give our nanny her individual time with each. Plus after this last year with no play dates or classes for our toddler, he needs the socialization.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all!

[Anonymous]

I think what you decide to do in the end needs certain factors considered.

Is your 2 1/2 year old a social child overall?
Because if he/she is not, then it may be best for them to continue to stay w/your Nanny.
Some children are just not ready for preschool at that age.
I know mine was not.

Also, have you spoken to your Nanny on her feelings regarding caring for both of your children?
Is she okay caring for them both all day??
I would ask her if she has any relevant experience caring for multiples.
What types of activities would she do each day w/both children?

Can you + your Nanny agree on a reasonable pay increase for adding your second child?
Usually $3-4/Hour is ideal.

Just some things to consider.
Hope this helps -
I wish you the best whatever you end up doing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny doing it right now with a 2.5 year old and infant. It’s impossible to keep the same level of involvement with my toddler charge that I had when it was just the two of us but that’s not all bad. My older charge has gotten much better at solitary-play and waiting. I don’t have as much one-on-one time with the baby as I did with the older child at that age and I feel bad about that. Many times the baby has to be content with just watching the older child and me play or read or talk. I think it will get better when the baby is on a longer nap schedule.

Our particular challenge is no backyard or outdoor space especially during covid. Before the baby, my charge and I used to run in a public green park and play. That’s absolutely been limited because I can’t chase the toddler with an infant in a public space and the baby is EBF and won’t take a bottle so I have to keep her near her mother.

My older charge will be starting preschool in September which will be great for both children.

My advice as a former preschool teacher is to enroll your older child in preschool. There are benefits beyond giving more individual attention to each child.

Out of curiosity, why not do 1-1 with the toddler while the baby sleeps, then 1-1 with the baby when they're awake?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!

We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.

Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.

Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.

And it's possible to have the toddler play while the baby is awake, then teach the toddler when the baby sleeps...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny doing it right now with a 2.5 year old and infant. It’s impossible to keep the same level of involvement with my toddler charge that I had when it was just the two of us but that’s not all bad. My older charge has gotten much better at solitary-play and waiting. I don’t have as much one-on-one time with the baby as I did with the older child at that age and I feel bad about that. Many times the baby has to be content with just watching the older child and me play or read or talk. I think it will get better when the baby is on a longer nap schedule.

Our particular challenge is no backyard or outdoor space especially during covid. Before the baby, my charge and I used to run in a public green park and play. That’s absolutely been limited because I can’t chase the toddler with an infant in a public space and the baby is EBF and won’t take a bottle so I have to keep her near her mother.

My older charge will be starting preschool in September which will be great for both children.

My advice as a former preschool teacher is to enroll your older child in preschool. There are benefits beyond giving more individual attention to each child.

Out of curiosity, why not do 1-1 with the toddler while the baby sleeps, then 1-1 with the baby when they're awake?

Nanny PP here again. My toddler charge has stopped napping and the baby generally only takes 25 minute naps but I try. Just not enough time especially for the baby. Hopefully when the baby’s schedule is more set I can have more time with toddler alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!

We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.

Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.

Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.

And it's possible to have the toddler play while the baby is awake, then teach the toddler when the baby sleeps...

True (and I do) but it’s not enough time to engage either (especially the baby).

Yes, of course, it’s doable and I’ve been doing it but it’s not the level of engagement I’m happy with. I feel like a babysitter when I have both kids and not a nanny. Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping them both safe and alive.