Nanny and toddler activities
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Anonymous
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We just hired a new nanny, who has been with us for 5 weeks now, and while she is very loving with our 2.5 year old, I have gradually observed the following things:
- She is quiet permissive with our son, and appears not to be able to be authoritative over him over small things such as leaving the house on time to get to the playground (when the toddler wants instead to stay in the house), putting a sweater on him when it gets cold (you know how toddlers refuse to wear jackets). Nanny also once complains to me that son hits her (our toddler rarely does that but he only does it and is not an overly bratty child)-- I said that she has my permission to discipline him (i.e. a few minutes time out from play) but she seems helpless, even though she raised 3 adult children herself. -She likes to clean the play area and usually her "activity" with the toddler is "cleaning". The other activity she does is reading the books that my toddler wants her to read. Other than that, there's not much going on. So a full time usually consists of: breakfast, cleaning after breakfast, playground, lunch, nap (she lets him nap for a long time, while she naps), and then reading a few books, clean, end of the day. What bothers me is that even though the day ends at 6pm, when I come down at 5pm, all toys are already put away and not much is going on, as if she is ready to leave. Am I asking too much a nanny to know 1) how to be authoritative over a rebellious (but not too rebellious toddler), and 2) be more creative with daily activities? In terms of activities with the toddler, in my fantasy I hope for a nanny who would independently come up with fun and creative activities with the toddler, for example, would take inspiration from those instagram channels of fun activities to keep toddlers busy. But I don't suppose that one can just tell a nanny, "Can you be more creative?" Rather, it would be incumbent upon me to give clear guidance on precise activities. But I am a full time working mom. Am I asking for too much? How can we inspire this nanny to do more? |
Anonymous
| There's a great book I think it's called 150 screen free activities. Maybe order it and say you get it for inspiration. |
Anonymous
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Teaching your child to pick up their toys as a toddler is fantastic. They s creates a lifelong habit. However, I’m not understanding why the playroom is a mess right after breakfast? Are you leaving everything out in the evening? If you want her to clean less, make sure the playroom is picked up.
What do you have for toddler-appropriate crafting supplies? When is she supposed to research and prep the activities? Have you considered providing low/no-prep supplies (like play dough and finger paint/easel paper)? Please understand that most toddler crafts take under 10 minutes from the child and many require more than 30 minutes prep from an adult. If your child is 2.5, discipline should have been discussed during the interview(s). Have you discussed your method of discipline with the nanny? Will your child comply with that method, or would the nanny have to physically move the child to force compliance? As far as being willing to be authoritative, many nannies prefer positive discipline or natural/logical consequences, so this should have been ironed out before starting. Does your child have any sn? If not, why are you excusing hitting? (If your child is hitting, most nannies aren’t going to be willing to pick your child up and move them to a time out spot.) What does your child want to do? It sounds like they want to listen to books, so maybe suggest a picture colored after at least one book per day, inspired by the book? If your child isn’t interested, why push it? If your child is interested in crafting, can they get to the supplies on their own and get what they want? Other than that, invest in some of the following for more home activities: Bath paint (bath murals, segueing into a bath or shower, depending on age and balance) Pudding mix (edible finger paint on a cookie sheet) Food coloring Shaving cream (also cookie sheet fingerpainting) Finger paint Watercolors paper roll Craft supply set (button, sequins, pipe cleaners, yarn, toddler scissors, tape, glue, gift ribbon, etc) A box of printer paper Construction paper Tissue paper Wrapping paper ends Stickers Dot markers (also called bingo daubers) Chunky pencils, colored pencils, crayons and markers Prep peanut butter play dough in the evening or on the weekend; it lasts for up to a month! Play dough (store bought and/or homemade) Putty, kinetic sand, regular sand, etc Plastic bins (for sensory bins) Magnetic white board Letter, number, shape and fun magnets Dry erase crayons, markers, colored pencils Chalkboard (painting a wall black works too!) and chalk Extra cardboard boxes, toilet paper rolls, paper towel rolls, wrapping paper tubes, egg cartons, etc. Soda/water/juice bottles (with caps!), pudding and fruit cups, etc. The more easy supplies she has on hand, the easier it is to plan an activity. Also, if you’re working from home, what are the noise limits? Can she do a dance party with loud music? What about a toddler drum kit (aka wooden spoons on mixing bowls, pans and lids on the kitchen floor)? |
Anonymous
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Op here. Re the previous posrers, we have all those supplies. We have a puzzle box, a art and craft box, another activity box. I have explained stalk several times what they are and urged her to use them but in all 5 weeks she has not cracked open the art and craft box.
On the toddler accept toddler activity books, i also laid them open on the dining table but she did not do anything with it. We are actually a very clean household so there are no toys scattered around on the morning. But we do have a cat. There is not much to clean but she is a little obsessive about the vacuuming. It is not like she is teaching my toddler to pick up after himself either, just her allocating time to clean. At the end of the day, i still see toys scattered around the house because she finished picking up the toys an hour before the end time and would not pick up the toys thereafter. |
Anonymous
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The discipline thing seems fine. Why does she have to rush to the playground? Why create stress if there is no urgent reason. And if the kids wants to play trucks more or eats snack slowly, that seems fine too. I also think you could ask her if she is be reluctant to use time out or removal would she want a sticker chart or silver positive incentive? Her refusal to use a system may be her being uncomfortable with that approach but not wanting to voice that to the boss. Did many engage with that.
However my nanny is the most creative person. She pretend plays for hours. Literally. She makes up rainy day obstacle course s. She hides letters and does an alphabet scavenger hunt. She makes pinterest style snack crafts like lion faces and celery bugs. They do art once or twice a day. They play sand or playdough. So if she isn't doing those things, that is an issue |
Anonymous
It depends on the child. Some kids will do crafts with a parent, because the parent wants to do them. The same child will show no interest or be resistant with a nanny when asked to do the same type of craft. While the nanny doesn't need to do as much as the PP, she does need to step up a bit more. Sit down with her during nap one day this week and ask her to spend half of naptime each planning and prepping one activity for the next day. In the same conversation, I'd also suggest asking her to make clean up with the toddler something that they do in the last 15 minutes OR they could pick up after the toddler finishes with each thing. If she's vacuuming the playroom that often, ask what the problem is. She may be allergic to your cat, but wanted to try the job anyway. If that's the issue, then you need to part ways amicably. If she's just ocd about the cat hair, then explain that you are happy to have her vacuum as often as she wants, provided that she's using part of your child's naptime AFTER she plans and preps an activity. It sounds like she may be trying to keep the noise and mess contained, so that she has fewer tasks that she dislikes. Honestly, I would plan a schedule for the week and prep everything myself. Let her know that you expect to see 2-3 pictures sent to you of the child doing the activity, and you'd like a picture of at least one completed project for each activity, and you can blame it on wanting to email pictures to grandparents if it makes you more comfortable. Monday morning: dot markers and letter pages Monday afternoon: cookie sheet and pudding, followed by a bath or shower Tuesday morning: peanut butter play dough Tuesday afternoon: bath paint, followed by a bath or shower Wednesday morning: coloring books (no activity books!) Wednesday afternoon: cookie sheet and shaving cream with food coloring, followed by a bath or shower Thursday morning: play dough Thursday afternoon: watercolors Friday morning: paper and drawing supplies Friday afternoon: fingerpaint, followed by a bath or shower If she refuses or doesn't follow through, you have your answer. |
Anonymous
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OP, your Nanny sounds good to me.
Since you are likely (due to the pandemic) telecommuting - I am assuming that you are in the home the entire time that the Nanny is there. For many Nannies, this may be a challenge when disciplining a child because your Nanny perhaps does not want to appear like she is “Bad Cop,” especially right now since she is still likely in the bonding stage w/your child. The cleaning would not bother me >>> I personally wouldn’t mind if the toys were picked up before she was due to leave. She may not be a very “crafty”-type person. You may have to nudge her for this. Start off by suggesting a few simple crafts she can enjoy w/your child. You may have to take the initiative. Once she sees how important it is for her to do daily crafts w/your child, she may do more. However at 2 1/2 years old, it may still be a challenge for your child to focus as well as complete a task w/out distraction. Hope this helps! 
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Anonymous
| ^^This. |