Au pair wanting to stay

[Anonymous]

So our Au Pair who is good/ not great has always been planning to leave us at the end of the month when her program is done. She has just sprung on us that she would like to stay. I had just found an alternate option for the kids (private school). Of course the private school is much more expensive and will run the risk that it shuts down at any point.

I was quite happy with the idea of getting my house back after several years but maybe the smarter idea is to keep her for a while to see what happens with schools? I believe she is waiting on a student visa.

She has been fine.. good with managing school and schedules but not super warm or connected to the kids.

I feel a little trapped but am also aware that maybe keeping another childcare option is a good idea right now?

[Anonymous]

It’s probably a smart idea to keep her, as her pitfalls are known and less expensive. Perhaps agree to the end of the school year.

[Anonymous]

She won’t get a student visa unless she has enough to pay for 4 years in her account or tells them you are paying for it.

[Anonymous]

I think what you are suggesting is illegal.

[Anonymous]

If she’s on a student visa, she can’t work for you.

[Anonymous]

you should say "no, thank you". Take advantage of the fact that you got your plans under control, the kids will move on with private school and you will have your house and freedom back.
I made a decision in a similar situation to accepter her stay after she asked, and not long after she changed her mind, wanted to leave, and then I was again the one left with no plans, having to rush to try to get things organized for my family. Go ahead with what you have planned, and control over, not her change of mind and behavior.....

[Anonymous]

As a host mom who just got screwed by an aupair who initiated a second extension, and then told us last week she is leaving on her original date and not do the second extension, I say let it go. You don't want to be in a position where you are relying on the whims of the au pair. The PP said it best.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the feedback. This is au pair #4 and three of them have changed their plans at the very last minute. i have decided to see where we are in a month but made it very clear I can't pay her extra because we are already committed to the school. I feel like if i don't let her stay she will really have no where to go. There is no way she can save money for a student visa if she has to pay rent, etc.

I don't think her plans are well thought out and recognize I need to be careful or I will end up keeping an au pair way longer than I want. She is waiting on an answer for her visa and also has her flights booked home to mexico at the end of the month so we'll see where things are at the end of February.

I am doing my best to be compassionate but also realize the minute she gets a better offer we will be left high and dry.