Welcoming new live in nanny

[Anonymous]

Our previous nannies have been live out positions and we hired them locally. For a new live in nanny, coming from out of state, what do you all typically do to welcome them? What items do you provide, and do they typically interact with the family much when they first arrive or say hi and then settle in?

[Anonymous]

I’m a live in nanny that fly’s across the country for my live in positions. Typically I land late at night so one parent picks me up at the airport and then I meet everyone else the next day. I like to kind of relax that day, unpack and settle in. I also hang out that first full day usually a Sunday with the family. The next few days it’s all about showing me around. Where are schools, activities, stores, friends houses, pool etc driving is usually a huge part of the job and me getting my bearings is crucial for me. Not everyone is so worried about that however.

[Anonymous]

When I have moved across country typically the family has given me most of the first day to adjust and unpack. They will invite me to something like family dinner so that I can spend a little bit of time with the kids but I would spend most of the time getting settled in with a deadline of when we will meet to start training.

But the real answer is that if you are about to have a live in nanny, the number one thing you need to make that relationship work is clear and open communication, so you should ask her what she wants to do for the first day she moves in.

[Anonymous]

I second communication.

I don’t fly out, ever. It’s very unprofessional to need to run to the store to get toiletries on the way to the house. I also bring a ton of resources, and the airline can’t/won’t allow me that much baggage.

So, I drive or take the train. While I appreciate help taking my things inside, I pack heavy to save space, and it’s often easier if the parent keeps younger children out of the way. If I take the train, I unload the car so the driver can leave, then take my things downstairs. If I drove, I unload the rental car piece by piece, then get an Uber or taxi back from the rental office. Depending on the family, I either unpack and start the following day or kids swarm me and I hit the ground running.

Every family has done a driving test with me. However, the point is that it’s a test including all of the possible hazards I will experience in the area. I do sightseeing and find locations with waze on my own time. Before I arrive, I’ve already been given all the addresses and contact information I will need, and I’ve already looked up their position relative to the house. I’ve already researched every park (with and without playground), pool, lake, hiking trail, nature center, museum, rec center and everything else potentially useful and fun for kids. My first two or three days off work are spent exclusively finding all of them and determining whether they are worth the trek or not.

Some nannies like to have linens provided. I bring my own. Some nannies like a small selection of toiletries. I bring my own, and I’m very picky. Some nannies appreciate a handful of menus for take out and delivery and/or a gift card for a restaurant; I rarely eat out, and when I do, I’m very picky.

What I love are the signs that the kids are excited to meet me in person. No matter how much I’ve already talked with them on the phone and FaceTime, it’s still a blast to having kids buzzing around. I treasure every homemade sign, welcome mug and weird collage I’ve been given. I make them a part of making it my home too by having them help me decide where art from previous kids goes in my room. (I can’t keep everything, but I don’t discuss that until I’m moving on. When that time comes, I ask each child to look through everything they’ve made for me and pick two things for me to keep forever, and they help me take pictures of everything else.)

I also appreciate the signs that the parent is welcoming me into their home. They let me know that they stocked certain foods I like in the refrigerator (which means they listened while I talked to kids or that kids told them what to get for me). They ask if I want to join a family outing immediately or later that day, without pressuring me to feel I have to acquiesce (especially if it’s long!). They try to keep kids out of the way when I bring things in, but allow them to tug me everywhere to show me the things children feel are most important.

To me, the most important aspect is that the parent and I know we are a team. I don’t want or need them to treat me like a guest. I’m ready to jump in and immerse myself in their family and children, which is why we talk so long prior to coming to an agreement. I live in because it’s what the family needs and because I get the relationships I want, not because I need somewhere to live.

[Anonymous]

To the live-in nannies who have replied here - how do you find your jobs? We would like to hire a live-in nanny/housekeeper and don't know where or how to search for one. Striking out with care.com and similar sites.

[Anonymous]

I use care.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the live-in nannies who have replied here - how do you find your jobs? We would like to hire a live-in nanny/housekeeper and don't know where or how to search for one. Striking out with care.com and similar sites.

Post on indeed for a nationwide search. Care and sittercity limit to a radius.