Exploring Au Pairs - any tips, guidance to share?
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
Hi all,
Any tips, guidance you can share would be great - things to consider, sequencing, etc. I want to know which agencies are better to work with? Some sites honestly look a bit shabby and unorganized or outdated so I'm hesitant about pursing those. To be frank, are au pairs like babysitting another child? I'm a bit hesitant of the younger ones - I can't imagine a 18 year old taking care of babies... Thank you! |
Anonymous
| I'd get started on the AuPairMom.com website before coming here - too many opinions and misinformation here! |
Anonymous
|
You’re looking at heavy handholding to start. They need a SSN, bank account, intro to your home, children and rules, etc. After the initial week or two, it varies with personality and maturity. Some are self-starters, others have to be micromanaged. Some will say home and vegetate while others are constantly on the go (and possibly have one night stands). Some at 18 are more mature than 26 year olds. Some already speak English or are motivated to learn, while others are difficult to understand even after a year. It all depends.
You need a handbook with basic rules BEFORE you start interviewing, so they can read and ask questions. In the current environment, only rematch (something went wrong between family/AP) and extension (successful finish of first year, looking for a different family for a second year) APs are available due to travel bans and embassy closures. The only APs that have arrived in May are the ones who got their visas before the embassies closed. |
Anonymous
| I would never take an 18 yr old myself. You can and should aim older IMO. |
Anonymous
Many European APs drive better than APs from elsewhere. If you’re looking for a driver rather than a baby cuddler, most are going to be gap year (18-19yo). |
Anonymous
How old are your "babies?" I ask because I consider a "baby" to be 18 months old or younger---some people refer to 10 year olds as "babies." |
Anonymous
According to AP agencies, there’s no difference in the level of experience needed for 3 months vs 23 months. As far as I’m concerned (not OP), babies are not walking; toddlers walk. |
Anonymous
|
A few tips (after hosting 3 APs) --
* Early 20's is great (22-25). They are not like having an additional child (and can go out with their friends). * Seek someone who has lived away from home. Our current AP doesn't always know how much of a mess she leaves behind bc her mom likely cleaned up after her. * Ask the AP if she knows other APs. This helps you understand how well she understand AP expectations. * Ask unexpected questions in the interview to really gauge English ability. * Write an overly comprehensive Handbook, and send it early so they can read (and translate) it. Also, so they know your expectations. |
Anonymous
|
I am sorry to give you advise in another direction... but I think you should not consider an au pair at all. The program has been going through countless challenges, lawsuits, visa bans, covid restrictions ( then the au pairs feel it is nor fair they cant travel, etc), to name a few.
We have decided to leave the program after our au pair rematched just because she found a family who would give $3.000 to match with them...we are not going back in , dont have the energy. This should be something fun, and to help us as working parents, not a constant reason for anxiety... |
Anonymous
| It’s a great program but give it a year until the dust settles with the virus. |
Anonymous
This. You'll find a few people happy with the au pairs they've had, but many more vocal people about the crappy experiences especially because they're held hostage to the agencies who won't issue refunds or a reasonable refund (agencies will give you $5,000 in credit after paying $7,000, but claim you're only due $2,000 in a cash refund so why don't you just hold onto the credit and look next year for a new au pair...) When someone asks whether I'd recommend the program, I'd say NO. It's like winning the lottery to get someone great. Most au pairs are mediocre and look at this experience as their ticket to be in the US or even stay in the US (legally or illegally). |
Anonymous
| Agree with PP. not the time at all to look into the program. |
Anonymous
| People are always more vocal about negative experiences. The program works; otherwise it would have died a long time ago. However, these are challenging times and I agree; if you are new, you may want to postpone your search until things settle down. |
Anonymous
|
I just spoke to a family in MA. Some agencies are completely pulling out of MA. They’re with EurAuPair, and their AP finishing the second year is not eligible for the 6 month extension because that agency won’t be in MA anymore.
With covid issues and agencies pulling out of at least one state (not sure if it’s all or just some of the smaller ones), I’d suggest considerain’t other options until covid is past. |