Vacation with Extended Family
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Anonymous
| My husbands family does a large biannual trip with all of his aunts, uncles, cousins. His grandmother pays for everything and we really look forward to it. We have an au pair extending and we really want to bring her. We told my MIL that we will pay for her expenses but to please include her in the head count when booking. This is for summer of 2021 (fingers crossed life returns to normal by then). My MIL called this morning and said she didn't think the au pair should come because some people may feel uncomfortable since she is not family. We tried to explain that she is part of our family but I don't think my MIL got it. Should we push or should we give our au pair extra vacation days while we are gone? |
Anonymous
| You tried, you failed, I would let it go because your are not the organizer but a guest. Sorry. |
Anonymous
This. Case closed. |
Anonymous
| I would give her extra vacation days and a travel stipend. |
Anonymous
Unless OP had already mentioned something to the AP, she is fine. Lot of families travel without APs and some APs prefer that, of course she can always give her AP whatever she wants! |
Anonymous
| I would tell your MIL that you won’t be going then, and have your own vacation and take AP. |
Anonymous
| This is for next summer. Unless you’ve already discussed with incoming air extending AP, just let it go. If you have already discussed it, I would suggest skipping the extended family vacation to take AP on a vacation with your immediate family or give AP that time off and maybe even money to have fun. |
Anonymous
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Definitely don’t skip the extended family event, no need to cause a rift and hurt your husband / kids.
Although you guys have a great time, your au pair might not have as good of a time being stuck with aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. Give her the time as ‘extra vacation’ time, and take the budget that you would’ve spent and let her spend it to go somewhere. She will LOVE that option - guaranteed! |
Anonymous
Sounds like my mom. my mom is a weirdo. No use in fighting in. She is probably a control freak and is flexing her muscles. |
Anonymous
| Does she want to go or you want the child care? |
Anonymous
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I can pretty much guarantee that she will be happy not to have to go.
If you can, I'd give her a little travel stipend for that time you're gone and give her that vacation as "free vacation days" |
Anonymous
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Former AP here.
I have been asked in the past to go to family events like this and I did go. I liked it because it was a new State and I could do some sightseeing ... but being there among a family that's not mine was not comfortable. And I noticed that some family members didn't like me being there. So maybe I'd say no if I were asked now. I wouldn't force it if your MIL is not OK with it and maybe your AP will enjoy the time off to do something else. |
Anonymous
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AP is part of your family, not theirs. They should not have to welcome in a stranger for a week. This is not like inviting her to a family dinner.
We brought our AP along once for an extended family vacation, but it was because our twins were 1 and needed a lot of care. It was weird for the whole family Give her the week off. |
Anonymous
Petty |
Anonymous
Yes, MIL is quite petty. |