Unfair Advantage.....??

[Anonymous]

I have been a Nanny for a fifteen-mos. old little boy for the past six mos.
I was referred to his family by a previous family I had worked for for about ten yrs.
They were childhood friends.

I had some things that I wanted to discuss w/the Mom last week.
My personal belief is that since there is a child involved, that if either the Nanny or the parent has any questions/concerns/issues, etc., then it is best to discuss directly vs. keeping things inside where they could potentially boil over later.

In the past when I have had an issue w/a parent, I usually discuss it w/the parent I have an issue with.
And everything worked out well in the end.

But my current NF is different.
When we met - the Mother had the Father there so basically it was 2-1.
Whenever I discussed something w/the Mom, the Dad would chime in....
Agreeing w/everything she said.

Which ended up w/me backing down on certain things since I felt like there is power in numbers.
I walked out feeling like they were both against me, that their influence was stronger since there was two of them and one of me & didn’t feel they listened to me objectively.
In other words, anything one said they BOTH agreed.

I feel awkward now like I just do not want to show up for work on Monday.

[Anonymous]

OP here, by the way the issues were nothing too serious.

Just asked the Mom if she could text me if she was going to be more than fifteen minutes late, make sure I got paid every payday (they have sometimes forgot), and that the audio is still turned on after they told me it wasn’t.
It is actually illegal in my state to audio record w/out consent.

I knew the audio was turned on because the Grandmother let it slip.

Also when I asked the Mom if we could meet to discuss a few things, she asked me what was wrong.
I mentioned her coming in late w/out letting me know.
Then she flat out ignored my text messages and before we all spoke, she completely ignored me and didn’t say “Hi” when I greeted her.

[Anonymous]

What would you say if there were only one other person? Say that to two people. You’ll never be able to have these conversations successfully if you are this rattled by spouses agreeing with on another.

But honestly I would just start looking for a different position. They are going to continue to cross more and more boundaries until you find yourself scrubbing their toilets and can’t figure out what went wrong. They are pushy, selfish people and you are bad at standing up for yourself. You need a different dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, by the way the issues were nothing too serious.

Just asked the Mom if she could text me if she was going to be more than fifteen minutes late, make sure I got paid every payday (they have sometimes forgot), and that the audio is still turned on after they told me it wasn’t.
It is actually illegal in my state to audio record w/out consent.

I knew the audio was turned on because the Grandmother let it slip.

Also when I asked the Mom if we could meet to discuss a few things, she asked me what was wrong.
I mentioned her coming in late w/out letting me know.
Then she flat out ignored my text messages and before we all spoke, she completely ignored me and didn’t say “Hi” when I greeted her.

1. Not texting when running late is rude
2. Not paying you on time is when you start looking for another job
3. Now you know the audio is turned on the cameras and you are still working there, so you’ve basically consented

Basically, you only have one problem. Solve it by looking for a new job.

Don’t bring up the camera issue with future employers or current employers because it just looks like you have something to hide (or alternatively, that you are going to be a pain in the ass about everything that has to do with your rights.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you say if there were only one other person? Say that to two people. You’ll never be able to have these conversations successfully if you are this rattled by spouses agreeing with on another.

But honestly I would just start looking for a different position. They are going to continue to cross more and more boundaries until you find yourself scrubbing their toilets and can’t figure out what went wrong. They are pushy, selfish people and you are bad at standing up for yourself. You need a different dynamic.

If it is illegal to record without your permission then I would report them to proper authorities. It will be on record that they did this. This is a valid reason for quitting and applying and receiving unemployment while you look for a new position.

Every nanny should check criminal records of prospective employers because you are working alone in their house and you need to know if there have been complaints against them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you say if there were only one other person? Say that to two people. You’ll never be able to have these conversations successfully if you are this rattled by spouses agreeing with on another.

But honestly I would just start looking for a different position. They are going to continue to cross more and more boundaries until you find yourself scrubbing their toilets and can’t figure out what went wrong. They are pushy, selfish people and you are bad at standing up for yourself. You need a different dynamic.

If it is illegal to record without your permission then I would report them to proper authorities. It will be on record that they did this. This is a valid reason for quitting and applying and receiving unemployment while you look for a new position.

Every nanny should check criminal records of prospective employers because you are working alone in their house and you need to know if there have been complaints against them.

She has no actual evidence that they are recording her. She heard from Grandma that they might be. That is not going to hold up in reporting to any authority. But it does provide her useful information on the people she is working for and she should gtfo.

[Anonymous]

Failure to pay on time alone ends the contract for me. Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

It is appropriate to have both parents there when you are meeting with them. If you are not ok with camera's find a new job but realize camera's are everywhere now. Most jobs, stores and restaurants and other places have them.

For Pay, the day before send them a reminder. Its easy to forget if they don't have you on auto pay. If you don't get payed remind them that night and send text if they don't do it immediately.

Reasonable to ask to be texted if running 15 minutes late. I would just text her after 20 and ask when she plans to be home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, by the way the issues were nothing too serious.

Just asked the Mom if she could text me if she was going to be more than fifteen minutes late, make sure I got paid every payday (they have sometimes forgot), and that the audio is still turned on after they told me it wasn’t.
It is actually illegal in my state to audio record w/out consent.

I knew the audio was turned on because the Grandmother let it slip.

Also when I asked the Mom if we could meet to discuss a few things, she asked me what was wrong.
I mentioned her coming in late w/out letting me know.
Then she flat out ignored my text messages and before we all spoke, she completely ignored me and didn’t say “Hi” when I greeted her.

1. Not texting when running late is rude
2. Not paying you on time is when you start looking for another job
3. Now you know the audio is turned on the cameras and you are still working there, so you’ve basically consented

Basically, you only have one problem. Solve it by looking for a new job.

Don’t bring up the camera issue with future employers or current employers because it just looks like you have something to hide (or alternatively, that you are going to be a pain in the ass about everything that has to do with your rights.)

+1. OP, people like your employers are not going to change. Please start looking for a new position.

[Anonymous]

Employers being habitually late is reason enough to quit. Lateness is a total disregard and lack of respect for you not to mention a complete dismissal of their poor children who are waiting for them. Not bothering to text is unforgivable.

Start looking for another job. You are not being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

It’s not an “unfair advantage”, OP. You are employed by two people. You need to learn to stand up for yourself.

But I echo the above: your current employers are horrible and they’re not going to change. Better to leave now before you’re too attached to the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Failure to pay on time alone ends the contract for me. Time to move on.

Yep. You have one time to mess up my money and I’m out. I just left a job over money that wasn't rectified or acknowledged properly by my employers. They were selfish, entitled and hated confrontation. Sounds a lot like your current employers OP. Best to find a family that appreciates and respects you.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Look for another job. You will find a very nice family who appreciate you as a person an as a employer. They are not the right family for you.