au pairs and dieting

[Anonymous]

Our au pair has slowly stopped eating dinners with us and she also shared she is trying to lose a few pounds. The thing is, our dinners are super healthy. She instead is choosing to eat a bagel and cream cheese before bedtime, and at lunch she'll just have a starch. I try not to be heavy handed, but I am worded that barely eating and then eating such crap is going to impact her ability to keep up with my kids. Do I just let it go (none of my business,r ight?) Or, should I try to coach her on some healthier options?

[Anonymous]

Let it go.... I am sure what she eats will not affect her keeping up with your kids.

[Anonymous]

See how it is for a while. If you notice that she is more sedentary than usual (for instance, you tell them to go to the park and instead they are watching tv) then I would say something about the behavior. Do not link it to what au pair is eating (or not eating). you are not going to win there.

[Anonymous]

Aps go through fad diets all of the time. mine only had green tea for dinner all of the time (and then I would find Popeye's bags in the garage trash can). They are young. they can handle it at least for now.

[Anonymous]

My AP does the same. She does not eat with us, she is supposedly dieting but eat super unhealthily stuffs. She is doing her job fine, so I am staying out it.

[Anonymous]

Unless it impacts her performance I don’t think you should say anything. And if her performance is bad you should tell her that and also probably not mention the diet because she might not agree that’s the problem

[Anonymous]

I'm for the passive aggressive approach of teaching my own kids that the way to eat healthy is to crowd out the junk with more fruits and veggies. If AP wants to ignore that, then nothing you can do. At least AP isn't wrecking your kitchen and food budget with some kind of crazy expensive smoothie only diet or special food?

[Anonymous]

My AP has put on weight too and does not eat with us anymore. I have a weekly list of 20 items from her now but always includes cream cheese...we do not really eat cream cheese and she does not seem to get that is like one of the most fattening foods you can eat.

It is not your place to mention anything.....she wont pass out or anything. Ours actually continues to get fatter.

I like not having her eat with us anymore; although it definitely turned her into one of the "not part of the family" APs with us.
If she asked to rematch tomorrow I would be ecstatic.

[Anonymous]

MYOB. How would you like your boss coming to your house and commenting on what you do or do not eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. How would you like your boss coming to your house and commenting on what you do or do not eat.

I have to agree with the nanny troll on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. How would you like your boss coming to your house and commenting on what you do or do not eat.

LOL, except in this case your house is the boss's house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB. How would you like your boss coming to your house and commenting on what you do or do not eat.

LOL, except in this case your house is the boss's house.

Also problematic if the boss is buying food that gets wasted (our situation, but not the OP) - AP requests spinach etc then eats all the leftover pizza

[Anonymous]

They don’t want to sit down with you and clean up after dinner, so they are pretending to diet so they don’t have to clean your mess. I did the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has slowly stopped eating dinners with us and she also shared she is trying to lose a few pounds. The thing is, our dinners are super healthy. She instead is choosing to eat a bagel and cream cheese before bedtime, and at lunch she'll just have a starch. I try not to be heavy handed, but I am worded that barely eating and then eating such crap is going to impact her ability to keep up with my kids. Do I just let it go (none of my business,r ight?) Or, should I try to coach her on some healthier options?

Um, I was a stick figure and could not gain a pound until i got pregnant with my first child. I had and still have lots of energy. My daily lunch consisted of a double whopper with cheese, large fries and a large coke, finished up with a cup of chocolate peanut butter ice cream. i worked at Tysons mall and at that every day for a year. I can assure you I had more energy than middle aged moms.

Stay out of her business, you are not her mother. YOu need boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has slowly stopped eating dinners with us and she also shared she is trying to lose a few pounds. The thing is, our dinners are super healthy. She instead is choosing to eat a bagel and cream cheese before bedtime, and at lunch she'll just have a starch. I try not to be heavy handed, but I am worded that barely eating and then eating such crap is going to impact her ability to keep up with my kids. Do I just let it go (none of my business,r ight?) Or, should I try to coach her on some healthier options?

Um, I was a stick figure and could not gain a pound until i got pregnant with my first child. I had and still have lots of energy. My daily lunch consisted of a double whopper with cheese, large fries and a large coke, finished up with a cup of chocolate peanut butter ice cream. i worked at Tysons mall and at that every day for a year. I can assure you I had more energy than middle aged moms.

Stay out of her business, you are not her mother. YOu need boundaries.

Yes, and that's exactly why I asked.