When Common Sense is Lacking

[Anonymous]

Any tips to deal with an AP with pretty much ZERO common sense besides complete micromanagement (which is driving me crazy)? Au Pair is so sweet, LOVES the kids, punctual, safe driver, and a great cook. But she can't figure out things like all of the pants go in one drawer or the pink shirt that says "I'm a Girl Scout" goes in my daughter's dresser and not my sons. Nothing huge with safety except she did let my son smash a piece of broken electronic equipment with a hammer without eye or ear protection and we came home as it was happening and stuff was flying everywhere and it was LOUD. Other things like she never remembers to turn of the lights or turn down the heat if she's leaving for the day for her classes, she has literally left the sink running and gone upstairs for God knows how long. All real examples and I could give many more. I don't think any of these things are deliberate. I think she just has no common sense. Suggestions? Like I said I've tried micromanaging her and pointing out when these things happen but it's getting exhausting and they keep happening!!!!

[Anonymous]

Your Au Pair sounds a lot like my husband. I spend 30min every weekend putting stuff back into the right kids closets and Eye Protection ? What's that ? hah! I certainly wouldn't say he has no common sense, he just thinks different thinks are important than I do

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, PP. Your situation sounds frustrating. However, I would not rematch. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your Au Pair sounds a lot like my husband. I spend 30min every weekend putting stuff back into the right kids closets and Eye Protection ? What's that ? hah! I certainly wouldn't say he has no common sense, he just thinks different thinks are important than I do

Haha, that is my Husband too. I just go after him and do stuffs the way I like and yeap when I complain he says it is not that important
As for OP issue, my AP is a bit similar but not that bad. For example she is been with us for 6 months but still don't know which clothes go where, I just decided to treat her like DH and just put things the way I like after she is done. She does have common sense though but just can't remember certain stuffs. I would say put notes everywhere in the house and send her reminders until she gets it. She will eventual do (hopefully).

[Anonymous]

Let go of the drawer/clothes issue. That is not a dire thing. write reminders on the door such as "before you leave the house 1) turn down the heat, 2) turn off lights, etc

safety related stuff is another issue and you need to micromanage and be on top of that.

if she is otherwise pleasant (which sounds like she is), sounds like something you can work with. Our AP is amazing, but I also know that she will not be closing the blinds and turning on the porch light when it is dark and she is the first one home---would love her to, but these things don't come until you are running a household.

[Anonymous]

Your AP seems a bit useless (the sink thing I would have to mention though!) but it doesn't seem like she is a bad Au Pair so I would just send her daily reminders until you don't have to. (It's pain but I guess you could set your phone to do it for you?)

I have the opposite problem, I am an AP and my hf LOVES to leave the lights on in every single room of the house for absolutely no reason (rooms they won't even go into the entire day!), even when they leave the house, so I just quietly turn them off and watch as they turn them all back on as soon as they get home. It drives me nuts (as it's so bad for our planet and they are actually genuinely concern about climate change which is why it's so strange they do this?) but I can't say much.

Sometimes it's just easier to go behind and do it your way than get aggravated and repeat yourself I say.

[Anonymous]

(Low key wondering if they are secretly pissed off I keep turning the lights off now, haha)

[Anonymous]

1. AP no longer puts clothes directly away. All the folded clothes go in a basket in your room, you take ten minutes to sort and put each in color coded/labeled baskets. Alternatively, each child has a hamper and a basket, and AP washes each child’s load and puts it away since they know it’s just for that child.

2. Checklist on front door. Checklist next to stairwell. If AP goes through checklist (faucets, lights, locked door, etc), you’re less likely to have those issues.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the good suggestions. I have been thinking about this a lot. I really need an au pair who can figure this stuff out with minimal oversight. The AP is here to make my life easier and not have to worry about some of these things she’s forgetting about. I think I need to talk to her and suggest she take more time and care and think through these things. She may not be a good fit for our family if she can’t improve

[Anonymous]

It sounds like this isn’t a problem of laziness but her nature.