Let nanny go.

[Anonymous]

We’ve had our nanny for about 3 months now and for multiple reasons it wasn’t working out. The primary reasons we had to let her go are:

She’s consistently not on time. She’s due to start at 7AM and she often shows up at 7:06 or 7:10.
She spends an inordinate amount of time on her phone. I’ve asked her to do the bare minimum tasks outlined in her job description, such as emptying the diaper pail or wiping down toys once per week. This doesn’t get done. My husband will come home to toys all over the floor when it’s time for her to leave at the end of the day. Most of the time when the baby is napping she sits for the duration of time on her phone, on the couch.
She refuses to take out baby for walks in our neighborhood and takes him for 2-3 hour long excursions in the carrier. I have to remind her to tell me where they are going and when they will be back.
She wanted to change her work hours to start later so she could “work out” in the morning.
She’s constantly making comments about what I eat that sound really patronizing such as “oh you’re eating so healthy! Good for you!”
She uses our microwave on a daily basis and has not once wiped down the gigantic mess that splatters and stains after she uses it.
She has asked me for our Netflix and Disney + password so she can use it herself.
She can’t seem to put dishes in the dishwasher and is leaving messes for me to clean up.
She, at times, will lay down with our son during his nap time and not get up for 1+ hours. When I see her on the baby monitor she’s sleeping.

I tried to have a conversation with her about her job duties and went over our schedule, to which she got emotional and asked for reassurance that she was “doing a good job” and that “no one has ever given me feedback like this before.”

For the record, she watches our 6M old baby boy. She is paid $22/hr plus paid holidays and PTO/sick. She’s a 25 y/o nanny who came with 5+ years of experience. She started off really strong and then has just been slacking.

I told her on Friday that we were looking elsewhere for a nanny and that we would not need her to come in the following week. She sent me a long text about how unhappy she is, asking to work out her two weeks and how I have “screwed her over”, etc etc.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny and I would stick to my decision and let her go. There are just too many negatives to correct and she doesn’t seem very bright. If you chose to help her, write a detailed email outlining her best qualities and clearly state her failings. Wish her well.

[Anonymous]

She did not do her job and was putting his safety at risk. Do not respond to the email. Do not let her work out her two weeks. You did not screw her over.

[Anonymous]

I think you should consider paying her a week but I would not change my mind.

[Anonymous]

did you giver her any type of severance or did you just cut her lose and leave her scrambling to pay her rent and phone bill for the month? Some of the things I agree with you on, and some are annoying but we have annoying traits. In any case, best of luck in your next hire. I think it's a double edged sword to have cameras, because it's tempting to over use them and micromanage what could otherwise be a fine working relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve had our nanny for about 3 months now and for multiple reasons it wasn’t working out. The primary reasons we had to let her go are:

She’s consistently not on time. She’s due to start at 7AM and she often shows up at 7:06 or 7:10.
She spends an inordinate amount of time on her phone. I’ve asked her to do the bare minimum tasks outlined in her job description, such as emptying the diaper pail or wiping down toys once per week. This doesn’t get done. My husband will come home to toys all over the floor when it’s time for her to leave at the end of the day. Most of the time when the baby is napping she sits for the duration of time on her phone, on the couch.
She refuses to take out baby for walks in our neighborhood and takes him for 2-3 hour long excursions in the carrier. I have to remind her to tell me where they are going and when they will be back.
She wanted to change her work hours to start later so she could “work out” in the morning.
She’s constantly making comments about what I eat that sound really patronizing such as “oh you’re eating so healthy! Good for you!”
She uses our microwave on a daily basis and has not once wiped down the gigantic mess that splatters and stains after she uses it.
She has asked me for our Netflix and Disney + password so she can use it herself.
She can’t seem to put dishes in the dishwasher and is leaving messes for me to clean up.
She, at times, will lay down with our son during his nap time and not get up for 1+ hours. When I see her on the baby monitor she’s sleeping.

I tried to have a conversation with her about her job duties and went over our schedule, to which she got emotional and asked for reassurance that she was “doing a good job” and that “no one has ever given me feedback like this before.”

For the record, she watches our 6M old baby boy. She is paid $22/hr plus paid holidays and PTO/sick. She’s a 25 y/o nanny who came with 5+ years of experience. She started off really strong and then has just been slacking.

I told her on Friday that we were looking elsewhere for a nanny and that we would not need her to come in the following week. She sent me a long text about how unhappy she is, asking to work out her two weeks and how I have “screwed her over”, etc etc.

WWYD?

I would have let her go long ago. However, I do not believe a word of what you are saying because no one is this bad! Presumably, you checked her references and they must have been stellar or you would not have hire her!

[Anonymous]

You do owe her severance but I agree she’s too much of a mess to fix.

Nanny here and you need to interview more carefully, OP, and make your ground rules and job expectations clear from the start (eg no sleeping with the baby; no phone use except on her lunch break; morning and afternoon stroller walks... And ask the interviewees what and how they would spend a day with your baby.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t sound like a nanny at all. Where did you find her?

[Anonymous]

It sounds as if you were spending a considerable amount of time watching her via cameras.
Or else how could you have known that she napped for an hour??

Cameras are set up so that parents have access to their childcare provider & make sure no abuse or neglect comes into play.
Period.
But I do find that some parents use them for benign stuff.

Like what did the Nanny do during nap time.
Or how much time she spent on her phone.
Etc.

First of all, I hope you did the right thing by offering her full disclosure regarding the cameras.
Secondly, could you have addressed her issues as a warning prior to firing her?
Finally, I would offer some severance since she had no clue that she would be unemployed for the New Year.

I would strongly advise you against hiring a young Nanny in the future.
Typically young Nannies consider their phones their fifth limbs.
They feel as though they must always be “connected.”
It’s part of how they were brought up.

I wish you all the best in your new search.
Hopefully you will find someone w/enough common sense to not only pick up the toys before they leave, but also will be considerate enough to leave messes in your kitchen.
You hire a Nanny to make life easier.....not to have extra cleaning waiting for you when you get home.

[Anonymous]

*not leave messes in your kitchen

[Anonymous]

I would give our sitter the Netflix password if she wanted to watch while baby was sleeping, I also wouldnt care if she napped when he did. I also do not ask our sitter to tell me when she leaves and comes back, this sounds very mirco managing.

Having said that, being late would be enough for me to get rid of someone, and leaving the house a complete mess when I got home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give our sitter the Netflix password if she wanted to watch while baby was sleeping, I also wouldnt care if she napped when he did. I also do not ask our sitter to tell me when she leaves and comes back, this sounds very mirco managing.

Having said that, being late would be enough for me to get rid of someone, and leaving the house a complete mess when I got home.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

Some of this definitely is for cause (late, not doing tasks, not cleaning up after herself/baby), but some is personality (comments about your food). Asking to shift hours is acceptable, but pouting or being late when told no is not. If it was just personality issues, you’d owe whatever severance was in your contract, but with as many for cause issues as there are, no severance is due. Since nothing involves safety, I hope you gave one warning (written, not just verbal).

Going forward, have you ducks in a row. You know what you want and need, so put it in your contract. Make sure to ask open-ended questions during interviews: “Tell me about what you do while the baby is napping.” “How do you plan to get here in the morning, and how will you ensure you are on?” “What are your opinions of screens in front of and around children?”

FWIW, 7am start is on the late side for full day nannies. There’s no excuse. I would suggest scaling back on watching the cameras to just a quick peek every hour or two, so that you don’t develop anxiety. If the nanny finishes any child-related tasks and while she’s eating her lunch, of course she can use her phone, but tasks come first. Babies shouldn’t be strapped into carriers for that long; if she wants to do outings to the zoo or nature center, she should wear the baby. I wouldn’t suggest giving passwords for Netflix or Disney; imo, it sets you up for your child to be plopped in front of it.

~nanny, who thinks you hired a sitter, not a nanny

[Anonymous]

I would pay her some amount of severance (not a full two weeks given the short tenure, but probably one week so I felt like I was treating her fairly.)

I would, under no circumstances, have her back in the home watching my baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do owe her severance but I agree she’s too much of a mess to fix.

Nanny here and you need to interview more carefully, OP, and make your ground rules and job expectations clear from the start (eg no sleeping with the baby; no phone use except on her lunch break; morning and afternoon stroller walks... And ask the interviewees what and how they would spend a day with your baby.

Good luck.

+1. From another nanny.