Extension conversation

[Anonymous]

Our AP just hit the 6 months mark and I am planning to have the extension conversation soon. We love her and I know she loves us as well but I think she might be missing her family and might want to go back home. We are planning a trip outside the U.S. in the summer, so if she extends with us, she will be coming with us. She will need to go to her home country to get a new visa so that she can leave the U.S. in her extension year. Knowing that she will be seeing her family soon might make her want to extend.

My questions:
-She knows we are traveling in the summer but she doesn't know the details (like if the AP will be coming with us), should I give her all the details during the conversation? Like tell her she will go back to home country to get the visa (and thus see her family), I believe that it will be an enticement for her to extend but I don't want her to extend for the wrong reason (like trip to home country and summer trip to Europe).
- How do family who extends have the conversation, do you list the perks of extending? Since mostly family list perks when recruiting new au pairs...

TIA

[Anonymous]

Do not promise any perks that would upset you if she changes her mind at the last minute and goes home or goes to another family.

Example: AP might ask the family to pay their $200-400 agency extension fee (AP pays a fee, host families do too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not promise any perks that would upset you if she changes her mind at the last minute and goes home or goes to another family.

Example: AP might ask the family to pay their $200-400 agency extension fee (AP pays a fee, host families do too).

Do you mean I should not promise (as of telling her about it) or I shouldn't even do it?

Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

HM of 5 years here - although I would not mention it to a new AP (or an AP that I was interviewing), I would definitely mention it to an AP who I loved as part of the extension discussion!

[Anonymous]

Your agency charges them an extension fee?! What? Which agency?

I give my AP the money I save in the fee by extending. About $1200. She uses it for a trip home usually.

I agree, I would not try to talk her into staying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not promise any perks that would upset you if she changes her mind at the last minute and goes home or goes to another family.

Example: AP might ask the family to pay their $200-400 agency extension fee (AP pays a fee, host families do too).

Do you mean I should not promise (as of telling her about it) or I shouldn't even do it?

Anyone else?

Do not pay for her or bring it up unless your AP asks. If you're inclined to do so after AP asks, let them know it will be repaid at the end of the extension term as a bonus for a successful second year.

If AP never asks, there's nothing stopping you from providing her the money as a bonus at the end of the second year anyway.

But you will be upset if AP extends, you pay the AP's fee (as well as your own) then changes their mind and goes to another family. You will not be getting that money back.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the feedback. I was planning to use part of money saved from her extending to pay 1/2 her ticket to go home and also give her one extra week vacation. I want her to also "invest" in the extension, which is why I am not planning to pay her fees or the full ticket and visa fees.

I am not trying to talk her into staying, but we love her and want to ask her before starting a new search.

Actually it costs us a lot of money to extend with her as we are taking 3 weeks vacation to Europe (and we don't need her, but want to take her as it will be more convenient for us and she is never been). We will be paying for her ticket and stipend and agency fees when we could avoid that and get a new AP when we come back (that was the original plan). Our LCC actually recommended we just get a new AP when we come back lol, but tbh the first few weeks on-boarding were really hard and if I can avoid that, it is maybe worth extending...She is really good with our kids.