Too young ?

[Anonymous]

Anyone have experience with an au pair who has just turned 18 ( the month before he/she arrives)? We’ve found an outstanding candidate from the Netherlands but are hesitant because of her age. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? What type of au pair are you hoping/expecting to have? If you’re ok with basically having another child (really a potentially moody teenager) around the house then go for it. I wouldn’t do it if I had very young kids (babies), or kids older than 12, because I don’t think mosy 18yos would have the maturity to handle babies on a regular basis and older kids wouldn’t give them appropriate respect.

[Anonymous]

We always select an au pair doing a gap year, hence most are 18. Our first had just turned 18 the week before! She was great with our then 3 and 4 year old and very mature for her age. Did better than some of our previous experienced middle-aged nannies and the kids loved her. Key is to interview closely and extensively. We need 40 hours a week and a good driver, so we are careful. They are only 18, so expect some typical 18 year old behaviors, but this has not been problematic for us. Good luck with your selection!

[Anonymous]

I rather like gap year au pairs. In my experience, these are 18-19 year olds from Western Europe who tend to have an attitude towards the program that aligns more closely with the host family’s than others. By that I mean they view it as a year in the U.S. with childcare and some exploration before starting further education rather than some kind of a “once in a lifetime must do everything must find a husband or whatever and am using the ap program as my plane ticket and hotel” mentality that I think is more common in other demographics.

[Anonymous]

No way. My au pairs are 21+ and professionals (teacher, nurse have been ours) and looking to better their careers via better English, not to party. I am a single mom and not interested in having a teenager in the house. (I am a high school teacher and am with teenagers all day long. As i said, NO way.)

[Anonymous]

Our au pairs have been 19, 23, 22, and 19. Guess which ones were more mature and more equipped for the job? the two 19 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our au pairs have been 19, 23, 22, and 19. Guess which ones were more mature and more equipped for the job? the two 19 year olds.

We’ve also had very mature 19 year olds. It really depends on the individual.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your replies! We have a 3 an 4 year old and are hoping for a very energetic au pair, which is why I haven't been too afraid to consider the younger ones!

[Anonymous]

We have 4 kids and have only had 23-25 year old au pairs. I can’t imagine having an 18 year old. It seems young. However I can definitely see it working out with some families and au pairs. Our kids are 3-8 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience with an au pair who has just turned 18 ( the month before he/she arrives)? We’ve found an outstanding candidate from the Netherlands but are hesitant because of her age. Thoughts?

Current AP is 18. Shes immature. Its way. I cannot wait for the year to be over.

[Anonymous]

I always hear that it depends on the person. We just had an 18 y/o who we felt was very immature in a lot of ways, ranging from small things like not knowing how to do her own laundry (we didn’t even ask her to do the kids’) to bigger things like having no ability to use discretion or judgment with things. I hope she was just one end of the spectrum - she is an only child and it seems like she was very babied by her parents back at home.

But on the other hand, I have heard stories from other host families about similar aged au pairs being great. I think it just depends a lot on their life experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always hear that it depends on the person. We just had an 18 y/o who we felt was very immature in a lot of ways, ranging from small things like not knowing how to do her own laundry (we didn’t even ask her to do the kids’) to bigger things like having no ability to use discretion or judgment with things. I hope she was just one end of the spectrum - she is an only child and it seems like she was very babied by her parents back at home.

But on the other hand, I have heard stories from other host families about similar aged au pairs being great. I think it just depends a lot on their life experience.

I'm the PP wit an 18yr old. This is much like ours and she cries over everything. She cant even cook a frozen pizza without help. So she can't help prepare the kids food, can't do their laundry and struggles to help with homework. We have 6 months and 26 days left and cannot wait for this to be over. This is our first 18yr old and I had no idea it would be this bad. We've had high school sitters who were more capable and mature. The level of childcare we are getting is truly the bottom of the barrel. Not a chance I hell I would keep her around if my kids were young like the OPs. She'd probably lose them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always hear that it depends on the person. We just had an 18 y/o who we felt was very immature in a lot of ways, ranging from small things like not knowing how to do her own laundry (we didn’t even ask her to do the kids’) to bigger things like having no ability to use discretion or judgment with things. I hope she was just one end of the spectrum - she is an only child and it seems like she was very babied by her parents back at home.

But on the other hand, I have heard stories from other host families about similar aged au pairs being great. I think it just depends a lot on their life experience.

I'm the PP wit an 18yr old. This is much like ours and she cries over everything. She cant even cook a frozen pizza without help. So she can't help prepare the kids food, can't do their laundry and struggles to help with homework. We have 6 months and 26 days left and cannot wait for this to be over. This is our first 18yr old and I had no idea it would be this bad. We've had high school sitters who were more capable and mature. The level of childcare we are getting is truly the bottom of the barrel. Not a chance I hell I would keep her around if my kids were young like the OPs. She'd probably lose them

Why haven’t you rematched?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always hear that it depends on the person. We just had an 18 y/o who we felt was very immature in a lot of ways, ranging from small things like not knowing how to do her own laundry (we didn’t even ask her to do the kids’) to bigger things like having no ability to use discretion or judgment with things. I hope she was just one end of the spectrum - she is an only child and it seems like she was very babied by her parents back at home.

But on the other hand, I have heard stories from other host families about similar aged au pairs being great. I think it just depends a lot on their life experience.

I'm the PP wit an 18yr old. This is much like ours and she cries over everything. She cant even cook a frozen pizza without help. So she can't help prepare the kids food, can't do their laundry and struggles to help with homework. We have 6 months and 26 days left and cannot wait for this to be over. This is our first 18yr old and I had no idea it would be this bad. We've had high school sitters who were more capable and mature. The level of childcare we are getting is truly the bottom of the barrel. Not a chance I hell I would keep her around if my kids were young like the OPs. She'd probably lose them

Why haven’t you rematched?!

Six months is a LONG time to be miserable.

--HM who wishes she'd rematched with terrible AP at six months...