Very disappointed

[Anonymous]

Hi ,
First thanks in advance for all replies.
I was working with family for two years. It was just after school position.
I have to leave the job I was going to take evening classes.
We were in good term when I left.
It’s almost two months ago I left.
I called parents and I ask if I could come and see the kids.
They said they wants kids to get used to with new nanny so I am not allowed to come.
I said I have birthday gift for one of them , do you want me to post it or wait until they get used to with new nanny and then I visit. They said just post it .
It means they never want me to see kids again. I was shocked they are totally fine when I asked them could I share their information as reference .
So they are okay to be my great reference but don’t want me to see their kids.
When I left everything was perfect . Any thoughts????

[Anonymous]

They are not your kids. This is a job. You left the job. You are more attached than the kids.

[Anonymous]

Jerk parents. Why are you surprised? Don't send birthday gift because it will only hurt you more when kid doesn't bother to thank you

[Anonymous]

DS ' former nanny babysits DS (she left for a job in the field she went to college for). But DS did have a hard time adjusting and we did not have her babysit for a couple of months because we did want him to get used to new nanny and not back track if he saw his old nanny. Worked out fine. This was 2 years ago.

[Anonymous]

You did nothing wrong.

The parents are just acting like selfish idiots.

After getting used to the new Nanny, they should allow you visits w/their children.

[Anonymous]

It's a job. The job ended. If you worked at the Gap for two years and then left to work at Ann Taylor, Gap would be a job reference but you wouldn't go back to visit at the Gap.

[Anonymous]

When you are a nanny you have to train yourself to build a wall of detachment.

Love them yes, but they are not your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You did nothing wrong.

The parents are just acting like selfish idiots.

After getting used to the new Nanny, they should allow you visits w/their children.

+1. For the children’s sake, I hope the parents reconsider when the kids are used to the new nanny. It’s so hurtful to the children otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a job. The job ended. If you worked at the Gap for two years and then left to work at Ann Taylor, Gap would be a job reference but you wouldn't go back to visit at the Gap.

No where even close to being comparable. The Gap job doesn’t involve innocent young children who depended on the OP and were encouraged to bond with and love her. Relationships with children involve more than just a job.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP.

I am a nanny who sees all of my former charges regularly. They are happy and fine with their new nannies or afterschool sitters and still know I didn’t just abandon them.

The job is with the parents; the relationship is with the child.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the children are having a hard time adjusting. I had a charge once who would tell the new nanny your not my nanny , my nanny is Mrs. ...... maybe ask again to see the in 6 months. If they say no the let it go.

[Anonymous]

I understand that it hurts, but it’s actually a compliment/testament to you as a nanny. Think about it - if after two months the children were bonded and happy with their new nanny, I doubt there would be an issue with you visiting. Sounds to me that the kids haven’t adjusted and still ask about you.

I don’t agree with the mother’s rational at all, however, as it would be better for the kids to see you interacting with the new nanny happily and warmly. And I will always think that simply removing a loving caregiver from a child’s life is a terrible thing to do to any child. But the mother is probably doing the best she can.

Send the gift, send cards, and continue to ask to see the kids. Ask the mother if there is anything you can do to help.

[Anonymous]

Op here
Thanks for all replies, I think I have to move on. Every family is different . I asked them I will wait until they adjust with new nanny but they are not okay with that. Yes I had lot of fun with them.
I am sure they are missing me as well
Thanks again for all replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a job. The job ended. If you worked at the Gap for two years and then left to work at Ann Taylor, Gap would be a job reference but you wouldn't go back to visit at the Gap.

No where even close to being comparable. The Gap job doesn’t involve innocent young children who depended on the OP and were encouraged to bond with and love her. Relationships with children involve more than just a job.

Loving and bonding is for parents and families, not paid caregivers. They are not her kids. The kids will not remember her in a few years. It not going to be dramatic or a big deal if they have involved parents. She's the one having the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a job. The job ended. If you worked at the Gap for two years and then left to work at Ann Taylor, Gap would be a job reference but you wouldn't go back to visit at the Gap.

No where even close to being comparable. The Gap job doesn’t involve innocent young children who depended on the OP and were encouraged to bond with and love her. Relationships with children involve more than just a job.

Loving and bonding is for parents and families, not paid caregivers. They are not her kids. The kids will not remember her in a few years. It not going to be dramatic or a big deal if they have involved parents. She's the one having the issue.

I guess you're a mom for saying such a nasty thing.

I am a nanny. Yes I am a paid caregiver and the children I am in charge of are not my kids.
However you can bond even when you're not family, this is what life is about, you'll make friends that you'll feel are family members and it's really a gift.
Most children I have been in charge of remember me, I make sure I never forget their birthdays, we gather from time to time and the parents are very happy about it as well.
They still call me "nanny" and I know they like to take a look at their time with me on the scrapbook I made for them with pictures and anecdotes.
Being over 40 now, I also remember fondly of my nannies as a child.