Employer who argues - are they always right?

[Anonymous]

Maybe this should go into “Employer Issues”?
Do any of you have employers that like to argue? How much of this $htt do you take? Are they always right? My MB is usually fighting with her older son (screaming matches) all day, anytime he is home. He is a teenager but she is an escalator. Anyway, usually it is not with me and when it is, I dont want to argue back because I feel it is very unprofessional so I always find a way to like, say it nicely, whatever it is. Today after fighting all day with her son, she tried to pick a fight with me, during this argument she was talking to me like I was dumb, I tried once to explain nicely she wouldnt hear it, when I started to speak for the second time she just cut me off and yelled “STOP IT” and I immediately said excuse me please dont speak to me that way ... she was SO MAD at this response she told me to “just go home” and said I wanted to make a scene in front of her kids (who werent at all near us) I mean my mind has been blown and she pretended she didnt send me home because she needs me to babysit. The worst part is I had arranged to stay overnight tonight because she wants me to start really early tomorrow (and I will babysit till late tonight).
Secondary question.. would you still stay at their house???

[Anonymous]

If she sent me home after yelling at me, I’d skip tonight, be there tomorrow and leave my written two weeks of notice on the kitchen table as I left tomorrow night.

[Anonymous]

Please give your notice now and start the process of finding a new position now (I mean right now). Your employer is mentally unstable and your situation will not improve - ever.

[Anonymous]

GET OUT OF THERE.

Give your notice (if required by contract) and get out!

[Anonymous]

The above nannies are nicer than me. If an employer ever spoke to me like yours did or had the audacity to yell at me, I would quit on the spot. I do not deal with or entertain disrespect from anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The above nannies are nicer than me. If an employer ever spoke to me like yours did or had the audacity to yell at me, I would quit on the spot. I do not deal with or entertain disrespect from anyone.

I get it. But I usually take into consideration other variables like My bonus is 2 months away and they are generous. Plus I have been with them for 4 years, know them for 10 (it was an assistant position that morphed into nanny/family manager) and I will need the reference so quitting on the spot is not an option. Even if I didnt want the reference I would probably still not ever do that because I do not burn bridges unless really really necessary. I am def leaning towards quitting but after bonus and with proper notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The above nannies are nicer than me. If an employer ever spoke to me like yours did or had the audacity to yell at me, I would quit on the spot. I do not deal with or entertain disrespect from anyone.

I get it. But I usually take into consideration other variables like My bonus is 2 months away and they are generous. Plus I have been with them for 4 years, know them for 10 (it was an assistant position that morphed into nanny/family manager) and I will need the reference so quitting on the spot is not an option. Even if I didnt want the reference I would probably still not ever do that because I do not burn bridges unless really really necessary. I am def leaning towards quitting but after bonus and with proper notice.

Please leave, OP. Don’t sell your soul for a bonus. Leave on the best possible terms but do leave.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you’ve made up your mind to stay, OP. I think it’s a mistake but whatever...

Anyway, my best advice is do not argue with her - simply do not engage her at all when she starts. Use phrases like “I’m sorry you see it that way” and “I understand what you’re saying”. “Point taken” is good too.

But I highly encourage you to get out of this job. Your employer “dismissed you” today - she pulled a power trip and sent you away. That is not acceptable. By you staying in this job you are telling her and yourself that this is how you deserve to be treated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The above nannies are nicer than me. If an employer ever spoke to me like yours did or had the audacity to yell at me, I would quit on the spot. I do not deal with or entertain disrespect from anyone.

I get it. But I usually take into consideration other variables like My bonus is 2 months away and they are generous. Plus I have been with them for 4 years, know them for 10 (it was an assistant position that morphed into nanny/family manager) and I will need the reference so quitting on the spot is not an option. Even if I didnt want the reference I would probably still not ever do that because I do not burn bridges unless really really necessary. I am def leaning towards quitting but after bonus and with proper notice.

My self respect is worth more than a bonus. I also believe in a savings so I won’t be stuck at any job. Of course you need to do what is best for you, so I can only speak for myself. Your family isn’t a bridge I would need as I have enough references and experience. Honestly, with the way you described this family I wouldn’t use them as a reference anyway. They sound petty and no matter how you leave I don’t see them being courteous with a reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she sent me home after yelling at me, I’d skip tonight, be there tomorrow and leave my written two weeks of notice on the kitchen table as I left tomorrow night.

Agree. She would not tolerate screaming from you and you should not tolerate screaming from her and I do not care what her problem is! There is no excuse for screaming at an employee unless a truck is about to hit you.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely NOT! How is this even a question?

[Anonymous]

She should never speak to you like that and you should not allow it.

[Anonymous]

If she's yelling at her teenage son, I think you should completely stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you’ve made up your mind to stay, OP. I think it’s a mistake but whatever...

Anyway, my best advice is do not argue with her - simply do not engage her at all when she starts. Use phrases like “I’m sorry you see it that way” and “I understand what you’re saying”. “Point taken” is good too.

But I highly encourage you to get out of this job. Your employer “dismissed you” today - she pulled a power trip and sent you away. That is not acceptable. By you staying in this job you are telling her and yourself that this is how you deserve to be treated.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's yelling at her teenage son, I think you should completely stay out of it.

Please reread. MB rising aged with teen to yell at the uninvolved nanny.