Wealth Difference b/t Au Pair and Host Family

[Anonymous]

This is not really a question, just a point. We have had our wonderful first au pair ever for about 2 weeks. She is lovely and hard-working and very smart. As we get to know her, we learn more about the difficulties in her country (she comes from a less than prosperous background in Latin America). I'm beginning to feel personally a little embarrassed for the way we live: we are not super rich or anything but like many DC households, we are high earning dual professionals and live well compared to a lot of the US and probably ridiculously well compared to other countries. Does anyone else have this feeling? It's a combination of awkward and embarrassed. It also puts into context how fortunate we are to have the opportunities we've had, and that had we been born elsewhere whatever talent and intelligence we could have would not necessarily result in prosperity. Either way, just feeling awkward . . .

[Anonymous]

Not sure I follow...have you not been overseas?

About 97% of the world lives well below our standards, including Europe.

SA is disaster unless your are very, very wealthy. That includes Argentina and developing Colombia; Brazil is a train wreck and completely unsafe.

Pretty much Singapore and a couple others are above our upper middle class standards of living.

[Anonymous]

Be as generous as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be as generous as you can.

This. And don't begrudge her things like snacks and gas money etc.

[Anonymous]

Practically speaking, be aware that this is another cultural difference you must navigate. Please don't spend too much time feeling bad or sorry for her. It will complicate your relationship. Just appreciate the skills and strengths she brings, some of which comes from her difficult background.

[Anonymous]

It is awkward, but it’s not all that different from wealth gaps within America. This one is just living in your house so you have to confront it.

It’s made me more grateful for what we have, and to some extent, has shifted habits and giving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not really a question, just a point. We have had our wonderful first au pair ever for about 2 weeks. She is lovely and hard-working and very smart. As we get to know her, we learn more about the difficulties in her country (she comes from a less than prosperous background in Latin America). I'm beginning to feel personally a little embarrassed for the way we live: we are not super rich or anything but like many DC households, we are high earning dual professionals and live well compared to a lot of the US and probably ridiculously well compared to other countries. Does anyone else have this feeling? It's a combination of awkward and embarrassed. It also puts into context how fortunate we are to have the opportunities we've had, and that had we been born elsewhere whatever talent and intelligence we could have would not necessarily result in prosperity. Either way, just feeling awkward . . .

Have you just awoken out of a deep blissful ignorant slumber? With all the money you have, have you never traveled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not really a question, just a point. We have had our wonderful first au pair ever for about 2 weeks. She is lovely and hard-working and very smart. As we get to know her, we learn more about the difficulties in her country (she comes from a less than prosperous background in Latin America). I'm beginning to feel personally a little embarrassed for the way we live: we are not super rich or anything but like many DC households, we are high earning dual professionals and live well compared to a lot of the US and probably ridiculously well compared to other countries. Does anyone else have this feeling? It's a combination of awkward and embarrassed. It also puts into context how fortunate we are to have the opportunities we've had, and that had we been born elsewhere whatever talent and intelligence we could have would not necessarily result in prosperity. Either way, just feeling awkward . . .

Um, you need to get a clue lady. How long have you been living on this planet. You poor thing, being so unaware and just now getting expodure to another culture for the first time.

I'm about to blow your mind. This occurs in America too. We even have poverty here. A lot of it. Life is not just an episode of a whitewashed season of Big Little Lies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not really a question, just a point. We have had our wonderful first au pair ever for about 2 weeks. She is lovely and hard-working and very smart. As we get to know her, we learn more about the difficulties in her country (she comes from a less than prosperous background in Latin America). I'm beginning to feel personally a little embarrassed for the way we live: we are not super rich or anything but like many DC households, we are high earning dual professionals and live well compared to a lot of the US and probably ridiculously well compared to other countries. Does anyone else have this feeling? It's a combination of awkward and embarrassed. It also puts into context how fortunate we are to have the opportunities we've had, and that had we been born elsewhere whatever talent and intelligence we could have would not necessarily result in prosperity. Either way, just feeling awkward . . .

Um, you need to get a clue lady. How long have you been living on this planet. You poor thing, being so unaware and just now getting expodure to another culture for the first time.

I'm about to blow your mind. This occurs in America too. We even have poverty here. A lot of it. Life is not just an episode of a whitewashed season of Big Little Lies.

OP here; wow, your words are so vile! I suppose your children must hate you. By the way, I have traveled far and wide, including to some real impoverished backwaters. But I've never carried my $2 million dollar house on my back when I go there, or my never-ending Amazon prime packages or the fancy schools my children go to, or the leather-lined cars we drive. My point is, it's one thing traveling somewhere, another thing having an au pair you like and respect live in what in her eyes is a mansion in a rich person's life. I'ts awkward and a make me feel sad . . . that's my point. Jesus! . . .

[Anonymous]

If anybody has seen the difference in wealth then it's your Au Pair from Latin America. I saw such difference first in Telenovelas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not really a question, just a point. We have had our wonderful first au pair ever for about 2 weeks. She is lovely and hard-working and very smart. As we get to know her, we learn more about the difficulties in her country (she comes from a less than prosperous background in Latin America). I'm beginning to feel personally a little embarrassed for the way we live: we are not super rich or anything but like many DC households, we are high earning dual professionals and live well compared to a lot of the US and probably ridiculously well compared to other countries. Does anyone else have this feeling? It's a combination of awkward and embarrassed. It also puts into context how fortunate we are to have the opportunities we've had, and that had we been born elsewhere whatever talent and intelligence we could have would not necessarily result in prosperity. Either way, just feeling awkward . . .

Um, you need to get a clue lady. How long have you been living on this planet. You poor thing, being so unaware and just now getting expodure to another culture for the first time.

I'm about to blow your mind. This occurs in America too. We even have poverty here. A lot of it. Life is not just an episode of a whitewashed season of Big Little Lies.

OP here; wow, your words are so vile! I suppose your children must hate you. By the way, I have traveled far and wide, including to some real impoverished backwaters. But I've never carried my $2 million dollar house on my back when I go there, or my never-ending Amazon prime packages or the fancy schools my children go to, or the leather-lined cars we drive. My point is, it's one thing traveling somewhere, another thing having an au pair you like and respect live in what in her eyes is a mansion in a rich person's life. I'ts awkward and a make me feel sad . . . that's my point. Jesus! . . .

Have you not had a nanny or sitter? Or teacher? Or friends in different SES? PPs are not vile, they are just saying you sound like you just opened up your pretty little eyes to something that is so pervasive in this country, and of course, the rest of the planet

[Anonymous]

There are huge wealth gaps in South America.

Don’t complicate things. If you want to be generous... go ahead.

Class and money drive a huge wedge between people in S America. Just be yourself. She will appreciate it. Don’t feel guilty either.

[Anonymous]

Do you not consider yourself rich with a 2M house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not really a question, just a point. We have had our wonderful first au pair ever for about 2 weeks. She is lovely and hard-working and very smart. As we get to know her, we learn more about the difficulties in her country (she comes from a less than prosperous background in Latin America). I'm beginning to feel personally a little embarrassed for the way we live: we are not super rich or anything but like many DC households, we are high earning dual professionals and live well compared to a lot of the US and probably ridiculously well compared to other countries. Does anyone else have this feeling? It's a combination of awkward and embarrassed. It also puts into context how fortunate we are to have the opportunities we've had, and that had we been born elsewhere whatever talent and intelligence we could have would not necessarily result in prosperity. Either way, just feeling awkward . . .

Um, you need to get a clue lady. How long have you been living on this planet. You poor thing, being so unaware and just now getting expodure to another culture for the first time.

I'm about to blow your mind. This occurs in America too. We even have poverty here. A lot of it. Life is not just an episode of a whitewashed season of Big Little Lies.

OP here; wow, your words are so vile! I suppose your children must hate you. By the way, I have traveled far and wide, including to some real impoverished backwaters. But I've never carried my $2 million dollar house on my back when I go there, or my never-ending Amazon prime packages or the fancy schools my children go to, or the leather-lined cars we drive. My point is, it's one thing traveling somewhere, another thing having an au pair you like and respect live in what in her eyes is a mansion in a rich person's life. I'ts awkward and a make me feel sad . . . that's my point. Jesus! . . .

Wow....lol troll. I am sure there is an admin of this site that can see that....nice English. try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not really a question, just a point. We have had our wonderful first au pair ever for about 2 weeks. She is lovely and hard-working and very smart. As we get to know her, we learn more about the difficulties in her country (she comes from a less than prosperous background in Latin America). I'm beginning to feel personally a little embarrassed for the way we live: we are not super rich or anything but like many DC households, we are high earning dual professionals and live well compared to a lot of the US and probably ridiculously well compared to other countries. Does anyone else have this feeling? It's a combination of awkward and embarrassed. It also puts into context how fortunate we are to have the opportunities we've had, and that had we been born elsewhere whatever talent and intelligence we could have would not necessarily result in prosperity. Either way, just feeling awkward . . .

Um, you need to get a clue lady. How long have you been living on this planet. You poor thing, being so unaware and just now getting expodure to another culture for the first time.

I'm about to blow your mind. This occurs in America too. We even have poverty here. A lot of it. Life is not just an episode of a whitewashed season of Big Little Lies.

OP here; wow, your words are so vile! I suppose your children must hate you. By the way, I have traveled far and wide, including to some real impoverished backwaters. But I've never carried my $2 million dollar house on my back when I go there, or my never-ending Amazon prime packages or the fancy schools my children go to, or the leather-lined cars we drive. My point is, it's one thing traveling somewhere, another thing having an au pair you like and respect live in what in her eyes is a mansion in a rich person's life. I'ts awkward and a make me feel sad . . . that's my point. Jesus! . . .

Your words are as vile ! Saying the person's children must hate them is a terrible thing to say.