Staying illegally

[Anonymous]

My Au Pair is in love. She has been with this guy for a year. She ends with us next month and is scheduled to go home.

This boyfriend is trying to convince her to just stay illegally. He doesn't want to get married "just yet."

She knows it will be hard to find a job, make money, live comfortably, etc. She has been pushing back on him.

She has heard that if she says illegally, and then gets married, she will be totally fine and the illegality is washed away. She is probably right.

But what if she doesn't get married, and then wants to go home. Anyone seen this?

How will she board a plane? What will happen? And what is on her record that may hurt her later? Eg., can't ever come back to the US?

I discouraging this for a number of reasons, including I have never met this guy! And her mom is concerned too.

So I just need more information to share.

Note that this is not an AP that came her to get married. She loves her family back home. I have had APs with this goal, but she isn't one of them.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't want to get married "just yet," the traditional thing to do is "put a ring on it" to make that future promise.

Boyfriend sounds like bad news. At the very least, he needs to support her if she stays illegally and can't get a job. Is he even willing to do that?

[Anonymous]

She won't be able to stay and just get married and have everything be ok. That part isn't correct. She would need to leave the country and be re-admitted on a "fiancee visa" or something else like that. Her having overstayed her visa will count against her here and make life much more difficult.

[Anonymous]

She needs to go home on time or it will make her “marriage” visa process exponentially more complicated; and she would have to go home anyway to apply and add a bunch of questions from ICE.
She can get a tourist visa pretty quick to come visit or he should fly to see her if he is serious.

[Anonymous]

My AP was in the same situation, what she did was apply for a tourist visa within the US. It is almost like an adjustment of status. She send her paperwork and ask to stay legally a bit longer. Most of the time they will approve it within a couple of months. By applying, even if she doesn't get a response before she leaves, she is not illegal because she is waiting. This is her best option not to be illegal, it buys her a few months!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AP was in the same situation, what she did was apply for a tourist visa within the US. It is almost like an adjustment of status. She send her paperwork and ask to stay legally a bit longer. Most of the time they will approve it within a couple of months. By applying, even if she doesn't get a response before she leaves, she is not illegal because she is waiting. This is her best option not to be illegal, it buys her a few months!

So they can apply for a tourist visa while they are on a J1 visa?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the info. Although I am not sure I want to tell her it!

I don't think it is right that she will have a problem if she gets married. Illegal immigrants get married to US citizens all the time. Pretty sure it makes them legal (after the paperwork) with no consequences.

And I don't think the fiancée visa option is a good one these days. It could take many months to get back here. I am not sure though. Anyone have experience? Also, once she goes home, doesn't she have to wait at least 1-2 years to apply for another visa of some kind?

[Anonymous]

Where is your AP from?

She would be ridiculous to stay here illegally for a guy who doesn't want to marry her and may well dump her the second she overstay her visa.

She could stay and get married without much consequence (though the laws are ever changing so who knows?) but there is no guarantee of a wedding here.

Going home and coming back on a fiancé visa seems much more appropriate.

If she was to overstay her visa but chose to come home for a family emergency or what else.

Authorities would let her leave the US (if anything they don't want her to stay so going back to her country won't be a problem) but she would be ban for at least 10 years of coming onto the US which would most likely impact any other future traveling to other countries too.

Please make a list of pros and cons with all the scenarios possible so she can make a decision in full knowledge of what she risks.


Being dependent on a man (she probably barely knows and doesn't seem very committed to her) is probably the biggest mistake a woman can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My AP was in the same situation, what she did was apply for a tourist visa within the US. It is almost like an adjustment of status. She send her paperwork and ask to stay legally a bit longer. Most of the time they will approve it within a couple of months. By applying, even if she doesn't get a response before she leaves, she is not illegal because she is waiting. This is her best option not to be illegal, it buys her a few months!

So they can apply for a tourist visa while they are on a J1 visa?

Yeap, it is an adjustment of status. She dont get the visa stamp but she get the permission to stay under another visa category. That is what my AP did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is right that she will have a problem if she gets married. Illegal immigrants get married to US citizens all the time. Pretty sure it makes them legal (after the paperwork) with no consequences.

It's my understanding that overstays are usually forgiven after marriage to a US citizen.

There are just a million red flags popping up with the whole not wanting to get married "yet" and asking her to stay in the country illegally. What if he isn't ready in a year? Two? Five?
She couldn't even go home to see her family. What if her parents get sick and she wants to go see them? The US would let her out, most likely even without giving her trouble (they want her out) but she'd not be able to get back in. At least legally and for a while.
What if she gets sick? Caught in a traffic accident? How keen is she on getting deported?
I doubt Mr. "not yet" would wait for her 3/5/10 year entry ban to end so that she can get back and they can get married.

The smartest way would be to get married in her "travel month" and adjust status or for her go home at the end of her year and either apply for a K2 (fiance) visa or to get married anywhere else and then apply for a spousal (CR1/IR1) visa that allows her to come back. If they go the K2/CR1 route overstaying her J1 now might actually make her ineligible for the necessary visa (same might be true for the K2).
Or, yes, she applies for a B2 (tourist) visa at the end of her J1 which will make her legal while the request is pending. However, IF she is from a visa waiver country and the B2 gets denied this will pose problems in the future. She will be inelegible for travel under ESTA for at least a while and she will have to list the denial of that B2 visa any time she applies for either an ESTA or any other type of visa in the future.
Or she applies for a student visa, if she / her family can come up with the money. Is Mr. "not yet" rich enough to sponsor her?

Staying illegally and working illegally or being fully dependent on somebody who isn't ready for marriage "yet" is one of the most stupid things she can do.
Yes, if it all works out and they get married eventually and live on happily ever after she will (most likely) be fine. Life is not a fairy tale though. I wonder if there are statistics on how likely she will end up in an abusive relationship... It's just a very, very stupid idea. Either he is ready to commit or she goes home and they take it from there.

Also, once she goes home, doesn't she have to wait at least 1-2 years to apply for another visa of some kind?

Only if the 2-year rule (two-year home-country physical presence requirement) applies to her. In which case getting married and staying would be a problem anyhow. She'd either need a waiver from her home country or have to leave and go back to her home country even after getting married. Unless she wants to get into trouble with them next time she tries to go home to visit her family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Au Pair is in love. She has been with this guy for a year. She ends with us next month and is scheduled to go home.

This boyfriend is trying to convince her to just stay illegally. He doesn't want to get married "just yet."

She knows it will be hard to find a job, make money, live comfortably, etc. She has been pushing back on him.

She has heard that if she says illegally, and then gets married, she will be totally fine and the illegality is washed away. She is probably right.

But what if she doesn't get married, and then wants to go home. Anyone seen this?

How will she board a plane? What will happen? And what is on her record that may hurt her later? Eg., can't ever come back to the US?

I discouraging this for a number of reasons, including I have never met this guy! And her mom is concerned too.

So I just need more information to share.

Note that this is not an AP that came her to get married. She loves her family back home. I have had APs with this goal, but she isn't one of them.

Thanks!

It's nice of you to try and get her some answers . I agree probably a bad idea because she'll become dependent on the bf, but young love isn't logical.
Help her or at least suggest that she do a consultation with an immigration attorney. In my state you can go through your county's bar and get a 1 hour meeting with an attorney who specializes in your particular area of legal concern at a minimal cost (I think around $60?).
I used that service to meet with an employment lawyer years ago and it was awesome. The attorney met was a publisher author who had worked for the EEOC before going to private practice. The hour with him was lifesaving - check into it, it's a great option if available to get a quick basic overview of what could happen to her if she ends up staying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's my understanding that overstays are usually forgiven after marriage to a US citizen.

Read this if you want to scare your AP. https://www.pri.org/stories/2019-02-19/americans-immigration-emergency-their-spouses-could-be-deported-or-exiled-if-they

Nancy Sanchez has happily sponsored two of her husband’s children in El Salvador, so they could come to live as legal permanent residents with the couple in Herndon, Virginia. Legally, for immigration purposes, she’s considered their mother. A third child is also coming.

But if Sanchez were to sponsor her undocumented husband of six years for legal status, the US immigration system would require that he first be punished—severely. Under a 1996 law, he’d have to endure a minimum 10-year exile from the United States. So even though Sanchez could sponsor the kids, she doesn’t dare come forward to try to also get a green card for her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Au Pair is in love. She has been with this guy for a year. She ends with us next month and is scheduled to go home.

This boyfriend is trying to convince her to just stay illegally. He doesn't want to get married "just yet."

She knows it will be hard to find a job, make money, live comfortably, etc. She has been pushing back on him.

She has heard that if she says illegally, and then gets married, she will be totally fine and the illegality is washed away. She is probably right.

But what if she doesn't get married, and then wants to go home. Anyone seen this?

How will she board a plane? What will happen? And what is on her record that may hurt her later? Eg., can't ever come back to the US?

I discouraging this for a number of reasons, including I have never met this guy! And her mom is concerned too.

So I just need more information to share.

Note that this is not an AP that came her to get married. She loves her family back home. I have had APs with this goal, but she isn't one of them.

Thanks!

She will be able to go home. She might have difficulty coming back in the future. BTW about 80 percent of them come here to find a husband in order to stay in the United States (not to provide childcare or to "learn English."

I don't blame they guy for not wanting to get married. Exactly what is she bringing to the table other than what's "under the table?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's my understanding that overstays are usually forgiven after marriage to a US citizen.

Read this if you want to scare your AP. https://www.pri.org/stories/2019-02-19/americans-immigration-emergency-their-spouses-could-be-deported-or-exiled-if-they

Nancy Sanchez has happily sponsored two of her husband’s children in El Salvador, so they could come to live as legal permanent residents with the couple in Herndon, Virginia. Legally, for immigration purposes, she’s considered their mother. A third child is also coming.

But if Sanchez were to sponsor her undocumented husband of six years for legal status, the US immigration system would require that he first be punished—severely. Under a 1996 law, he’d have to endure a minimum 10-year exile from the United States. So even though Sanchez could sponsor the kids, she doesn’t dare come forward to try to also get a green card for her husband.

Marriage does indeed "wipe out" the visa violation. This is a fact (I won't be surprised it the law changes with the current climate)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Au Pair is in love. She has been with this guy for a year. She ends with us next month and is scheduled to go home.

This boyfriend is trying to convince her to just stay illegally. He doesn't want to get married "just yet."

She knows it will be hard to find a job, make money, live comfortably, etc. She has been pushing back on him.

She has heard that if she says illegally, and then gets married, she will be totally fine and the illegality is washed away. She is probably right.

But what if she doesn't get married, and then wants to go home. Anyone seen this?

How will she board a plane? What will happen? And what is on her record that may hurt her later? Eg., can't ever come back to the US?

I discouraging this for a number of reasons, including I have never met this guy! And her mom is concerned too.

So I just need more information to share.

Note that this is not an AP that came her to get married. She loves her family back home. I have had APs with this goal, but she isn't one of them.

Thanks!

How about a K- 1Visa?

The K-1 fiancé visa is available to fiancés of U.S. citizens who are living outside of the United States and intend to get married within 90 days of arriving in the United States. The K-1 fiancé visa requirements include: Both you and your fiancé must be single and eligible to be married under U.S. law.