Would this be a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

We just hired a new nanny who had glowing recommendations from her past two employers, and she was with each for 5+ years.

We had her do a trial day last Friday and then again today. While she was great with the baby and seemed really sweet overall, I found one thing about her a bit odd... she had to go to the bathroom at least once an hour. She would take her purse into the bathroom with her every time and she was in there for a good 5 minutes each time. I really don’t know if she was going to the bathroom, fixing her makeup, checking her phone, or something else, but it just seemed kind of weird. I happened to be around so it wasn’t a big deal, but the biggest concern I have is what she will do with my baby when she is in the bathroom so frequently. Will she need to use the restroom in public places if she is out and will he bring the baby and stroller with her into the stall? Perhaps she has some kind of health issue - but don’t think it’s appropriate to ask that.

Would this be a dealbreaker for you? Should I say something? I am feeling a bit concerned about it, but not sure if it’s worth letting go of an otherwise good nanny.

[Anonymous]

Did this happen both days? Did you stop to consider she might be on her period with a heavy flow? Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did this happen both days? Did you stop to consider she might be on her period with a heavy flow? Good grief.

Yes, it happened both days, however it also happened when we interviewed her. She went to the bathroom when she arrived at our house and then before she left about 40 mins later. I didn’t think much of that.

Also, she is in her late 40s so doubt it’s period related.

[Anonymous]

Ask her, OP.

Yes, it is strange. However perimenopause often brings super heavy periods and sudden breakthrough bleeding.

[Anonymous]

I am fifty OP and I still get my period.

And the flow can be heavy at times.
Sorry, TMI.
If it is a medical issue - she should disclose this to you.

Or maybe she drinks a lot of coffee before work.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my late 40's still have my period. That makes no sense. When I have mine I could go a few time an hour for several days.

[Anonymous]

I think its odd. I would try and find a way to ask about it. If not, I would not hire her.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all, regardless of what she is doing in the bathroom - which doesn’t seem all that relevant - my concern is that she will need to leave my child unattended multiple times per day to go which seems way more than average/normal. She is of course entitled to go as much as she needs, but I don’t want it to take away from the care of my child.

She arrived at 8am and went straight to the bathroom this morning, and then was back in the bathroom by 8:45. She is in there for a good 5 minutes. She left my baby on her play mat in a safe place (I tried not to intervene) but she started crying after a couple minutes as she wanted to finish her bottle and the nanny didn’t show a sense of urgency to finish up and come back to the baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its odd. I would try and find a way to ask about it. If not, I would not hire her.

What exactly should I say that isn’t awkward/invasive. Something like “I noticed you use the bathroom a lot, what is your plan for the baby so she isn’t fussing for too long?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its odd. I would try and find a way to ask about it. If not, I would not hire her.

What exactly should I say that isn’t awkward/invasive. Something like “I noticed you use the bathroom a lot, what is your plan for the baby so she isn’t fussing for too long?”

" Larla, is everything ok, I have noticed you are in the bathroom a lot and just wanted to make sure you are feeling ok"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all, regardless of what she is doing in the bathroom - which doesn’t seem all that relevant - my concern is that she will need to leave my child unattended multiple times per day to go which seems way more than average/normal. She is of course entitled to go as much as she needs, but I don’t want it to take away from the care of my child.

She arrived at 8am and went straight to the bathroom this morning, and then was back in the bathroom by 8:45. She is in there for a good 5 minutes. She left my baby on her play mat in a safe place (I tried not to intervene) but she started crying after a couple minutes as she wanted to finish her bottle and the nanny didn’t show a sense of urgency to finish up and come back to the baby.

Your baby can fuss for five minutes. And you have no way of knowing how quickly she was doing whatever she was doing in the bathroom. Just hire someone else. You obviously have a problem with this and want your baby picked up the second they open their mouth to cry.

[Anonymous]

She’s checking her phone.
Does she have kids?
I suspect it’s phone checking

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has IBS? Or phone checking. Either way it’s super weird to do that when the parents are home or in an interview!!!

- nanny

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny.

While I can understand that maybe she has either a bug or heavy periods, leaving the baby unattended so often is not professional at all.

You have liked her since you hired her so maybe you can ask her what's going on ? Maybe it's not permanent. But you need to find out. Your baby's safety first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s checking her phone.
Does she have kids?
I suspect it’s phone checking

This is what happens when there’s cameras everywhere except the bathroom.