"Ma'am"

[Anonymous]

Hello all. I'm an MB with a new nanny we hired about 6 weeks ago. She's been fantastic so far but has one habit that kind of rubs me the wrong way. She calls me ma'am and my husband sir. I've told her numerous times that it's fine to call me by my first name and she'll say ok, but then go back to it. If she feels comfortable calling me that, I don't want to make her uncomfortable by making a big thing of it, but it does make me feel weird. Should I just drop it or keep insisting that she call me by my first name?

[Anonymous]

Is she from a country where this is the norm or expected? It may just take her a while to get used to a more informal style.

[Anonymous]

She is polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello all. I'm an MB with a new nanny we hired about 6 weeks ago. She's been fantastic so far but has one habit that kind of rubs me the wrong way. She calls me ma'am and my husband sir. I've told her numerous times that it's fine to call me by my first name and she'll say ok, but then go back to it. If she feels comfortable calling me that, I don't want to make her uncomfortable by making a big thing of it, but it does make me feel weird. Should I just drop it or keep insisting that she call me by my first name?

Just drop it. It my be cultural. Focus on the childcare.

[Anonymous]

I am not a fan of being called “Ma’am” as well because it makes me feel old.
Plus it seems too formal.

But considering you guys are a good match + that everything has been going smooth, this is really a non-issue.
She sounds like she has been raised to be very respectful as well as polite.

[Anonymous]

Let it go, ma’am. She giving your chil(ren) excellent care, that’s all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Yes, please drop it. Please remember that she is not your nanny - she is your child’s nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is polite.

What is polite is to call people what they ASK to be called.

[Anonymous]

Is she from the south? It’s a different world there and calling people ma’am and sir are mandatory.

[Anonymous]

(OP here again) To everyone asking where she's from, she's actually French Canadian but has lived in the US for about 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP here again) To everyone asking where she's from, she's actually French Canadian but has lived in the US for about 10 years.

Still let it go, OP. If she’s good to your child and a reliable, happy nanny than what she calls you is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP here again) To everyone asking where she's from, she's actually French Canadian but has lived in the US for about 10 years.

Our nanny is also French Canadian. We got "ma'am"/"sir'd" once and said, "Please. Call us Monica and Chandler, we insist." And that's how it's been, since the working interview.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(OP here again) To everyone asking where she's from, she's actually French Canadian but has lived in the US for about 10 years.

Our nanny is also French Canadian. We got "ma'am"/"sir'd" once and said, "Please. Call us Monica and Chandler, we insist." And that's how it's been, since the working interview.

I wish your names really were Monica and Chandler!

[Anonymous]

I agree with those saying it's generally polite. I think people should default to using more formal forms of address toward their superiors (in terms of a social or organizational hierarchy) until told otherwise. That being said, that she's continuing to do so after being told that first names are OK indicates it might just be habit for her or that she is uncomfortable making the change. If that's the case, it may just be easiest to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Do not encourage domestics to use your given name. Have some self-respect