Alcohol rules

[Anonymous]

I'm curious how other HFs have handled this - so in our home we have wine, beer and some hard alcohol. My rule for our alcohol in the house has been that the hard stuff is always off limits, and for wine she is welcome to share a glass with us if we open a bottle for dinner and she joins us for dinner. I did not create a specific rule for beer, because I didn't think about it when I made the handbook. AP has recently been drinking about 5 of our beers a week. I don't want to sound like stingy HF, but we don't buy cheap beer. She does this on her own, and not when joining us for dinner or something.

What rules do other families have when it comes to "house" alcohol?

[Anonymous]

Just tell her "hey, this beer is expensive, and you're going through a pack a week." If she doesn't take the hint that's disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

I think you can say, I see you are drinking about 5-7 beers a week, would you mind limiting it to 2-3? Also, you could buy cheaper beer for her and hide the better beer.

[Anonymous]

I've only had one AP who has been of age and she didn't drink so I've never really faced this issue, but I do think it is fine to consider alcohol a luxury item that she needs to buy on her own and that you won't provide.

[Anonymous]

Oh no! Not an extra $7-10/week on top of her $200 stipend! This forum is eye opening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how other HFs have handled this - so in our home we have wine, beer and some hard alcohol. My rule for our alcohol in the house has been that the hard stuff is always off limits, and for wine she is welcome to share a glass with us if we open a bottle for dinner and she joins us for dinner. I did not create a specific rule for beer, because I didn't think about it when I made the handbook. AP has recently been drinking about 5 of our beers a week. I don't want to sound like stingy HF, but we don't buy cheap beer. She does this on her own, and not when joining us for dinner or something.

What rules do other families have when it comes to "house" alcohol?

I do not provide or offer alcohol. Alcohol does not fall under "board."

[Anonymous]

Don't tell her she shouldn't drink it, that's rude.
She's supposed to be part of the family and help herself in the fridge or pantry. I'm sure she doesn't know it's expensive beer.
Just hide it or get cheap beer. Or stop getting some, she'll get it she can buy it herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! Not an extra $7-10/week on top of her $200 stipend! This forum is eye opening!

Are you the same poster as the $3 apple? You feel free to buy your AP $20 worth of beer every week. Nowhere in the state department rules does it state that I'm obligated to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell her "hey, this beer is expensive, and you're going through a pack a week." If she doesn't take the hint that's disrespectful.

Being subtle does not work. You ought to be explicit, with tact, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! Not an extra $7-10/week on top of her $200 stipend! This forum is eye opening!

2 things.

1) if you think $200 is all AP gets, you are naive. We pay for APs cell phone, car expenses (insurance, gas, maintenance) and she does not drive my children anywhere. We pay of her food, and things like laundry soap, toilet paper etc. We also pay over the $500 a year for classes. Plus gifts and vacations. So yeah, she makes over $200 a week. I’m sick of people who don’t put these other expenses into consideration and act like APs are so mistreated because they “only make 200 a week.”

2) How would you like it if you went to the store after work, bought a 6 pack of a craft brew you really wanted to try and then you got NONE of them because AP drank them all? So now, if you want some you’ve got to go back to the store. And yes, you have to go because it’s the weekend and AP is gone all weekend hanging out with her friends.

[Anonymous]

Buy more beer.

We get sugar free Red Bull from Costco- it would last us 3 or 4 months but we drank one now and again while working lte just dragging.
With APs we go through a case in 2-3 weeks. It is like 35 a case. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! Not an extra $7-10/week on top of her $200 stipend! This forum is eye opening!

2 things.

1) if you think $200 is all AP gets, you are naive. We pay for APs cell phone, car expenses (insurance, gas, maintenance) and she does not drive my children anywhere. We pay of her food, and things like laundry soap, toilet paper etc. We also pay over the $500 a year for classes. Plus gifts and vacations. So yeah, she makes over $200 a week. I’m sick of people who don’t put these other expenses into consideration and act like APs are so mistreated because they “only make 200 a week.”

2) How would you like it if you went to the store after work, bought a 6 pack of a craft brew you really wanted to try and then you got NONE of them because AP drank them all? So now, if you want some you’ve got to go back to the store. And yes, you have to go because it’s the weekend and AP is gone all weekend hanging out with her friends.

Ignore her, is it probably the same nanny who always have negative comments for HMs.

[Anonymous]

We are very generous. Pay for gas for personal trips. Unlimited access to a car. Pay extra over the stipend. But we don’t offer alcohol and none of our 6 au pairs have asked. They are on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! Not an extra $7-10/week on top of her $200 stipend! This forum is eye opening!

2 things.

1) if you think $200 is all AP gets, you are naive. We pay for APs cell phone, car expenses (insurance, gas, maintenance) and she does not drive my children anywhere. We pay of her food, and things like laundry soap, toilet paper etc. We also pay over the $500 a year for classes. Plus gifts and vacations. So yeah, she makes over $200 a week. I’m sick of people who don’t put these other expenses into consideration and act like APs are so mistreated because they “only make 200 a week.”

2) How would you like it if you went to the store after work, bought a 6 pack of a craft brew you really wanted to try and then you got NONE of them because AP drank them all? So now, if you want some you’ve got to go back to the store. And yes, you have to go because it’s the weekend and AP is gone all weekend hanging out with her friends.

Laundry, soap and toilet paper are basic household supplies, not being generous. Gifts and vacations and a car are your choice. $200 a week is not a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! Not an extra $7-10/week on top of her $200 stipend! This forum is eye opening!

2 things.

1) if you think $200 is all AP gets, you are naive. We pay for APs cell phone, car expenses (insurance, gas, maintenance) and she does not drive my children anywhere. We pay of her food, and things like laundry soap, toilet paper etc. We also pay over the $500 a year for classes. Plus gifts and vacations. So yeah, she makes over $200 a week. I’m sick of people who don’t put these other expenses into consideration and act like APs are so mistreated because they “only make 200 a week.”

2) How would you like it if you went to the store after work, bought a 6 pack of a craft brew you really wanted to try and then you got NONE of them because AP drank them all? So now, if you want some you’ve got to go back to the store. And yes, you have to go because it’s the weekend and AP is gone all weekend hanging out with her friends.

Laundry, soap and toilet paper are basic household supplies, not being generous. Gifts and vacations and a car are your choice. $200 a week is not a lot of

money.

It is when you don't have rent, car payment etc to pay for.....Its all free money