Logistics issues with large age gap

[Anonymous]

I have an almost one year old and a 5.5 year old who will be starting K in the fall. Had a conversation with my nanny last night because she is concerned about our kids’ very different schedules and how we will make it work. Her concern is mainly how to keep the baby on a good schedule (mostly for naps - not a real go with the flow kind of baby) while she is picking the older one up from school, taking him to soccer and baseball practice, play dates, etc.

I was on maternity leave for 6 months and then my mom came to stay for a while. This summer the older one has been in camp all day and took a bus to/from so it was really easy.

My nanny was saying she thinks we may need a part time sitter for one of the kids but that seems a bit crazy to me. Do others have the same issues with a big age gap and how do you handle?

[Anonymous]

Wow that is ridiculous.. are you rich OP? It's not a big deal to put baby in stroller or baby carrier to pickup from bus stop and they will learn to nap on the go. For things like after school activities unless you are going crazy it will be max 1-2 days per week at most during weekdays and you can carpool with other parents or your child can wait a year no hurry K is a huge transition as it is. Playdates should be pretty straight forward as well.. Your nanny pickups an extra kid from school to have over and their parent picks up after playdate or the other parent gets your child from school and pick up by nanny or you on way home from work after playdate.

[Anonymous]

I had to wake up my 10 month old charge when I would pick up his 4 year old brother from preschool. About 90% of the time he was awake. Preschool ended at 2:30 p had to leave by 2:20. Baby brother was asleep by 11/12 so unless he was sleeping past 12, he was usually up by 2. What time does your younger child nap and what time is pick up for older child? My younger charge only took a nap a day so when we would go to afterschool activities he was never napping.

[Anonymous]

You need a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Are you overdoing it on afterschool activities? I would start with NO activities other than Kindergarten for the first few months. Not even because of the baby, just because Kindergarten knocks most kids flat for the first few months. It is a HUGE change for most kids, even ones who have done full-time daycare or pre-K prior. The level of maturity they expect in Kindergarten now is not really age-appropriate, and they often get far too little playtime and too much sitting quietly, and they are often in a much bigger class than they have ever experienced so the group dynamics are very stressful as well.


I think it is fine for babies to have one nap per day that is a stroller or car nap, but not both naps every day. That will lead to a very stressed and overtired baby if he is not a flexible sleeper in general.

If you give us more info about what his current nap schedule is and what the kindergarten routine will be we can probably help brainstorm ways to smooth this out. Is she driving him to school and if so, will she have to get out of the car with the baby or will it just be Kiss n ride? What time does school start? If she is walking him to the bus stop, how far from your house and what time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you overdoing it on afterschool activities? I would start with NO activities other than Kindergarten for the first few months. Not even because of the baby, just because Kindergarten knocks most kids flat for the first few months. It is a HUGE change for most kids, even ones who have done full-time daycare or pre-K prior. The level of maturity they expect in Kindergarten now is not really age-appropriate, and they often get far too little playtime and too much sitting quietly, and they are often in a much bigger class than they have ever experienced so the group dynamics are very stressful as well.


I think it is fine for babies to have one nap per day that is a stroller or car nap, but not both naps every day. That will lead to a very stressed and overtired baby if he is not a flexible sleeper in general.

If you give us more info about what his current nap schedule is and what the kindergarten routine will be we can probably help brainstorm ways to smooth this out. Is she driving him to school and if so, will she have to get out of the car with the baby or will it just be Kiss n ride? What time does school start? If she is walking him to the bus stop, how far from your house and what time?

That's absurd to not do activities the first few months of K. OP needs a new nanny. It is absolutely age appropriate and if you don't think it is, then keep your kid back in preschool.

[Anonymous]

My kindergartener needed lots of extracurriculars. I’m shocked your nanny suggested this. Sounds like it’s turning out to be a bad fit.

[Anonymous]

Kindergarteners do not need lots of extracurriculars. Those are structured activities guided by an adult in a same-age group setting. What kindergarteners need after school is unstructured free play either at home (if they are more of an introvert) or at a park or playdate (if they are more social). The person saying that contemporary K is age-appropriate is not an educator. This is all over education forums, NAEYC discussions, etc. It is common knowledge amongst people actually working with elementary schoolers that the lack of free play and recess and the increase in standardized testing and the pressure for kids to master reading is not in line with developmental needs. Unfortunately the people who design the school day are focused on measuring specific types of achievement and don’t actually work with children.