DH offered subpar au pair extension

[Anonymous]

...without discussing with me. I’m floored. I had told him a few times about the issues but she has seemed so miserable I just assumed we were both counting the days (several weeks left). Then, astonishingly, she said she was thinking of extending and DH said “you’re welcome as long as you want!” I backtracked as much as I politely could but, just, damn.

I don’t understand why she would want to stay an extra day other than that she doesn’t have a clear plan for when she gets home and is trying to buy time but honestly that’s not fair to my kids who have to deal with her impatience and bad attitude.

No real question just a vent.

[Anonymous]

lol, sorry OP. But glad you backtracked, you don't want to be stuck in this type of situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol, sorry OP. But glad you backtracked, you don't want to be stuck in this type of situation.

I’m still going to have to have a blunter convo but I think she understood what DH said was not actually the deal. Just OMG. Never in a million years did I think she would ask because she so clearly doesn’t want to do the actual job.

[Anonymous]

Lol lol lol
If she’s rude and impatient
Let her go say sorry
I wouldn’t keep a rude nanny around
If you had liked her I’d say it’s so much easier to keep her for another year
Funny husband

[Anonymous]

How is she like? What does she not like to do
Just curious lol

[Anonymous]

If she only has weeks left, then it's probably too late to extend anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she only has weeks left, then it's probably too late to extend anyway.

Apparently it’s not if she does it pretty soon here, just talked to LCC. Talked to her about helping her extend with someone else I mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is she like? What does she not like to do
Just curious lol

I don’t mean to be evasive but literally doesn’t like taking care of my kids. Every day there are complaints about how they misbehave. Which I don’t doubt! But she’s also not trying to work toward a better relationship. She wants me to spark them or something. Not going to happen.

[Anonymous]

She wants you to do what? Spank them? Is she nuts?
EVERY kid misbehaves and can turn into a brat to get their way, but every loving person will be able to connect with kids and distract them by just simply coloringC playing a game, going for a walk
Does she do any effort to get them to have fun and so activities? Or go to the playground, a farm , pool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She wants you to do what? Spank them? Is she nuts?
EVERY kid misbehaves and can turn into a brat to get their way, but every loving person will be able to connect with kids and distract them by just simply coloringC playing a game, going for a walk
Does she do any effort to get them to have fun and so activities? Or go to the playground, a farm , pool

Sorry auto correct fail, I did mean spank.

She will go on activities only if I am very direct and insist. And then the next week I have to be just as explicit all over again.

[Anonymous]

Is your DH the kind of guy who is nice and doesn't know how to say NO or does he think the AP is not that bad? just curious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your DH the kind of guy who is nice and doesn't know how to say NO or does he think the AP is not that bad? just curious

Both.

[Anonymous]

Pp Did she say she wants you to spank them? I’m very confused and disturbed about this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she only has weeks left, then it's probably too late to extend anyway.

Apparently it’s not if she does it pretty soon here, just talked to LCC. Talked to her about helping her extend with someone else I mean.

You're being nice. It's AP's responsibility to get her application and other requirements done. Not yours if you're not offering an extension with your family.

She must have more than 4 weeks left then. My understanding is that the application needs to be into State a month before visa expiration and our agency prefers submission a month before that. So, that's about an 8 week timeline for our agency to extend. This also assumes all credits and other requirements have been completed too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp Did she say she wants you to spank them? I’m very confused and disturbed about this

She’s circled around it a bunch asking why we do this or that as punishment and what she’s allowed to do, and made it clear she doesn’t think any of these are effective. But I certainly agree nothing has has tried to improve behavior (which literally is nothing) is effective!