Au pair we interviewed but ultimately did not pick

[Anonymous]

This is incredibly random. We were down to two candidates during the matching process and I struggled for days over which one to match with. They were both amazing candidates and I have a pretty thorough interview process. (Email two rounds of questions before deciding to move forward with a video call, then send handbook to be sure expectations align and then discuss moving forward). I actually had to call the agency and talk it through with our matching coordinator (Cultural Care) and then ultimately just went with the one we "clicked" better with on a personal level.

It was heartbreaking ending the relationship with the other young woman we had come to know. She was from Columbia, was a teacher, discussed in the interview the importance of reading and crafting and drawing, was very interested in hearing about a typical day for us, said she likes to act out kids favorite books as an answer to our "what is a creative way you would play with our children" question. She was a bit reserved but in a professional way, not in a worrisome way. The conversation was very natural, as her english was very very strong. We did not need a driver, so I can not speak to that, but she was calm and clear and asked us tough questions is return, which we liked. Anyway, when I told her that we had chosen to match with another candidate I also told her to reach out to me if she ever had any issues or questions and needed an ear.

Well...it is now several weeks later she contacted me the other day and said that she has had trouble matching because all the families that have wanted to match with her speak Spanish, and want her to speak Spanish at home with them and with their children. She wants to speak English so that she can improve her (already strong) English skills and she is not willing to leave Columbia to move into a family that only wants to speak Spanish. Which I can understand. While I tend to think she would still pick up plenty of English being here and being out and about and with friends, I do understand her not wanting to settle.

All this to say, if you are a family looking for an au pair but feel overwhelmed by which candidate to start the interview process with, Ana is a strong candidate, in my opinion and I wanted to put out a recommendation for her based on the interactions we have had. I don't want to blast her profile ID out here on such a public forum but don't know the best way to share her info with any seriously interested families, besides email. Again, this is through Cultural Care.

[Anonymous]

What a wonderful post! We are cultural care, looking for AP #2 to join us in mid-December or early January (since understandably APs may want to be home for the holidays). Would this aligned with her timeline? There is an Ana I requested a connection to and she declined...so she may not be interested. While I am maybe an intermediate Spanish speaker (and my kids know about 3-4 salutations), it would be really wonderful to have someone focused on learning English. Our current AP came to us rated as a level 4 speaker, she always defaults to Spanish with me. While I've enjoyed some of the stretch it has been for me, I also feel the heavy lift of our communication.

I also try to target someone interested in kids as a career, with a college degree under their belt, and LOVE her answer of acting out favorite stories! (My kids are story bugs!). I have 2 young boys. Looking for split shift, may change it up next year so that AP spends 2 weekdays watching my youngest to defray full time day care cost plus AP. We are loving, loud, high energy.

If I can figure out if she is the same Ana...can I give you my first name and state and you could tell her to look for a connection request?

[Anonymous]

PP here, is she vegetarian? If yes, I will send another request (perhaps she would reconsider at this point)? Or skip. I don't need to force it either. But she does sound great. We are not vegetarian but eat clean, so the diet did give me pause.

[Anonymous]

Hi! email me at sarawhodraws at gmail and I will give you her info. I think she is more looking for Sept./Oct but at this point may be flexible, and I do not believe she is a vegetarian, so it may be a different person.

Talk soon offline!

[Anonymous]

It is a nice post. However, I would never match with an au pair that refused to speak her native language with kids. Honestly, for us, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program. If we wanted a Spanish speaker who spoke decent non-native English or bad English with our kids, we could hire someone locally, which would be a lot cheaper for us. However, we do not want our kids picking up bad English habits from the au pair anymore than we want them picking up our Spanish mistakes as non-native speakers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:However, I would never match with an au pair that refused to speak her native language with kids. Honestly, for us, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program.

However, some APs would never match with a host family that refused to speak English with them. Honestly, for them, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program in the US instead of in a country where their native language is spoken.

And just as you don't have to match with an AP that wants to come to the US to improve their English and hence wants to live with a family that will speak English with them and expects them to speak English they don't have to match with you. Isn't it great that there are actually options and you get to chose who you want to live and work with instead of having somebody random placed with you?!

[Anonymous]

PP who is interested - email sent to you, Sara. From another Sarah. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:However, I would never match with an au pair that refused to speak her native language with kids. Honestly, for us, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program.

However, some APs would never match with a host family that refused to speak English with them. Honestly, for them, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program in the US instead of in a country where their native language is spoken.

And just as you don't have to match with an AP that wants to come to the US to improve their English and hence wants to live with a family that will speak English with them and expects them to speak English they don't have to match with you. Isn't it great that there are actually options and you get to chose who you want to live and work with instead of having somebody random placed with you?!

True, but there is a difference between the host parents speaking English with the au pair (where the host parents could correct the AP's English) and asking the AP to speak exclusively to the children in the target language. The AP speaking to the children in English hurts the children's English and does not help the AP's English, either. Moreover, one suspects that there are not enough HPs in Spain and Portugal to absorb all of the au pairs from Mexico/Central/South America. So, your argument is kinda flawed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice post. However, I would never match with an au pair that refused to speak her native language with kids. Honestly, for us, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program. If we wanted a Spanish speaker who spoke decent non-native English or bad English with our kids, we could hire someone locally, which would be a lot cheaper for us. However, we do not want our kids picking up bad English habits from the au pair anymore than we want them picking up our Spanish mistakes as non-native speakers.

Of course most au pairs are happy to teach the kids short phrases and salutations in their language, and words for animals, how to count, silly kids songs, etc. but they expect an immersive English experience. THAT is the cultural exchange. Also, no, you could NOT find someone locally for cheaper unless you were doing something very illegal. No one would watch your kids for $4 and hour. Your kids are going to be native English speakers, they are not going to have their English permanently 'marred' because their au pair spoke to them in not-perfect English. This is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice post. However, I would never match with an au pair that refused to speak her native language with kids. Honestly, for us, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program. If we wanted a Spanish speaker who spoke decent non-native English or bad English with our kids, we could hire someone locally, which would be a lot cheaper for us. However, we do not want our kids picking up bad English habits from the au pair anymore than we want them picking up our Spanish mistakes as non-native speakers.

Hire a Spanish tutor.
We are the ap hang out of our cluster and hear all the stories about families like yours.
APs are not here to be language teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice post. However, I would never match with an au pair that refused to speak her native language with kids. Honestly, for us, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program. If we wanted a Spanish speaker who spoke decent non-native English or bad English with our kids, we could hire someone locally, which would be a lot cheaper for us. However, we do not want our kids picking up bad English habits from the au pair anymore than we want them picking up our Spanish mistakes as non-native speakers.

Of course most au pairs are happy to teach the kids short phrases and salutations in their language, and words for animals, how to count, silly kids songs, etc. but they expect an immersive English experience. THAT is the cultural exchange. Also, no, you could NOT find someone locally for cheaper unless you were doing something very illegal. No one would watch your kids for $4 and hour. Your kids are going to be native English speakers, they are not going to have their English permanently 'marred' because their au pair spoke to them in not-perfect English. This is stupid.

Crazy. Having an au pair is WAY more expensive than daycare/nanny share - it’s supposed to be a cultural EXCHANGE. HFS want an immersive language environment for their children not a pidgin English speaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is a nice post. However, I would never match with an au pair that refused to speak her native language with kids. Honestly, for us, that is the whole point of doing the au pair program. If we wanted a Spanish speaker who spoke decent non-native English or bad English with our kids, we could hire someone locally, which would be a lot cheaper for us. However, we do not want our kids picking up bad English habits from the au pair anymore than we want them picking up our Spanish mistakes as non-native speakers.

Hire a Spanish tutor.
We are the ap hang out of our cluster and hear all the stories about families like yours.
APs are not here to be language teachers.

Apparently, they are not here to be language teachers, or do work, or clean up after themselves, but they are here to shop, and travel and sell their bodies for cash and handbags. Good to know.

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for taking the time to share a good candidate with other HF's that are looking. It is almost certainly a significant investment of time that you've put into interviewing this cansidate and it's kind of you to allow someone else to leverage that a bit! Rock on.