Can I find a nanny who can work with this schedule?

[Anonymous]

DW and are separating and have agreed on 50/50 custody. I’ll need a nanny every other week full time (about 45 hours a week). It would be nice to have someone who can help out around the house and run errands (no deep cleaning, I have a housekeeper every other week).

I’m offering a higher rate since it’s every other week. I’ll need someone who can commit to this schedule, it should not change. Having some issues finding someone who can commit to every other week. What else can I offer?

Best I can do is offer a base rate for the weeks I won’t need them, but then I may want a couple of hours of drop in care and errands. Does this sound reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: DW and are separating and have agreed on 50/50 custody. I’ll need a nanny every other week full time (about 45 hours a week). It would be nice to have someone who can help out around the house and run errands (no deep cleaning, I have a housekeeper every other week).

I’m offering a higher rate since it’s every other week. I’ll need someone who can commit to this schedule, it should not change. Having some issues finding someone who can commit to every other week. What else can I offer?

Best I can do is offer a base rate for the weeks I won’t need them, but then I may want a couple of hours of drop in care and errands. Does this sound reasonable?

Edit to add:

My kids are 8, 8 and 4. The 4-year-old will still be in half day Pre-K next school year so I’ll still
Need the 45 hours but when the kids are in school I may add more household manager type responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Can you and your wife use the same nanny and she alternate houses? What childcare did you have while married?

[Anonymous]

I agree with above poster, use the same nanny at both homes if at all possible. If not, you would have to pay a significantly higher rate by only using 2 weeks/month as well as a small stipend to hold nanny for the off weeks (I would assume). And no, you cannot expect nanny to be at your beckon-call on her in weeks because you are paying her a holding fee for the off weeks. It is possible that you will find a retired woman or sahm that would be willing, but it is unlikely that either of those categories of potential candidates will want to work 45 hours/wk. I think you should speak with an agency, you will be more likely to find a candidate that won’t flake.

Another option is to hire someone full time and ask her to only work half time as a house manager on her off weeks. With more free time, she may be willing to take over your cleaning service as well as run errands, etc.

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine anyone who would stay even if you found someone initially. You’d have to pay double time.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you don’t both need a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Skip the housekeeper every other week. Pay someone full time that will look after the 45 hours one week, and cleaning/errands etc. the other week.

[Anonymous]

Does your wife work? Why cant you use the same childcare? If she doesn't work why doesnt she have the kids while you are at work? Id be pussed im my kids were with a Nanny and i was a available to be with them. You could have them.

[Anonymous]

Above pp again, hit submit too soon. You could have them on the weekends or every other weekend and maybe one night during the week. I dont see how 50/50 works for your kids in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Above pp again, hit submit too soon. You could have them on the weekends or every other weekend and maybe one night during the week. I dont see how 50/50 works for your kids in your situation.

Good thing its not your burden to figure out OP's custody situation, nor is your opinion really relevant. OP is asking if they could find someone for the position described, not how the position could be changed to suit the nannies of DCUM's unrealistic expectations or how their custody arrangement should be handled to best accommodate nanny care.

[Anonymous]

Probably not. Just do before and after care for the twins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Above pp again, hit submit too soon. You could have them on the weekends or every other weekend and maybe one night during the week. I dont see how 50/50 works for your kids in your situation.

I agree with the other commentator, not your life, not your business, not your choice. You would be “pissed”(great articulation there) if your child was able to see their father 50% of the time??? That’s how divorce works, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Above pp again, hit submit too soon. You could have them on the weekends or every other weekend and maybe one night during the week. I dont see how 50/50 works for your kids in your situation.

I agree with the other commentator, not your life, not your business, not your choice. You would be “pissed”(great articulation there) if your child was able to see their father 50% of the time??? That’s how divorce works, dear.

except theyre not if he needs a nanny for 45 hours on the weeks he had them. This may work for him not paying as much in child support but now the kids have to deal with a divorce and a 3rd adult in their lives every other week? Its selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Above pp again, hit submit too soon. You could have them on the weekends or every other weekend and maybe one night during the week. I dont see how 50/50 works for your kids in your situation.

I agree with the other commentator, not your life, not your business, not your choice. You would be “pissed”(great articulation there) if your child was able to see their father 50% of the time??? That’s how divorce works, dear.

except theyre not if he needs a nanny for 45 hours on the weeks he had them. This may work for him not paying as much in child support but now the kids have to deal with a divorce and a 3rd adult in their lives every other week? Its selfish.

FFS, 45 hrs./wk. means he has a 40-hr./wk. job plus a commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Above pp again, hit submit too soon. You could have them on the weekends or every other weekend and maybe one night during the week. I dont see how 50/50 works for your kids in your situation.

I agree with the other commentator, not your life, not your business, not your choice. You would be “pissed”(great articulation there) if your child was able to see their father 50% of the time??? That’s how divorce works, dear.

except theyre not if he needs a nanny for 45 hours on the weeks he had them. This may work for him not paying as much in child support but now the kids have to deal with a divorce and a 3rd adult in their lives every other week? Its selfish.

So he should work a full time career so that his wife can stay home and rear their children? He can have them every other weekend? Again, that’s not how life works, whether you like it or not. Many families work full time and have a third adult to love and care for their children.